baby mama doll hates cartoons
the doll is not your regular mom - she's a cool mom. instead of parking quetzy in front of the TV with some mindless cartoon programme on - she educates her newborn daughter with such films as full metal jacket, american pie and the godfather.
this doesn't surprise me one bit and would have been yesterday's news, but after telling the story to mates, probably expecting LOLs, she has taken her distaste of popular children's films to her magazine the pretty people club, advocating and urging other parents to boycott on behalf of their children; and even went as far as to suggest other worthwhile films. so today, in full print, appeared her reviews :
the shining a highly motivated writer seeks inspiration and success for latest novel in winter refuge and, through innovate ways, rekindles relationship with family - five stars
the little mermaid a half-woman, half-fish redhead hybrid falls in love with a human, only to lose her voice. a strong metaphor for the stupidity of monogamy and the suppression of feminism - one stars
dracula in this original 1931 film, a prosperous, recluse bachelor lures a man to his faraway castle under the prospects of real estate and, in turn, the man becomes the bachelor's wingman. in the end, the recluse bachelor finds his true love and purpose for life - five stars
scream a great film. a group of brats are culled out via a psychopathic killer dressed in halloween garb. this film sends a great warning to teenagers - don't drink, do drugs, say "i'll be right back," or have sex - four and a half stars (half a star off for the police force in the film - specifically scene where officer riley eats ice cream cone instead of doing 'real work')
garfield i liked this film. cats are inherently valuable animals. this film makes sense - four stars
kids another set of parents fail to do their jobs as AIDS spreads through a group of trouble-addled friends - strong lesson for youth : wear a condom - four stars
lady and the tramp a ludicrous plot - what could a restaurant owner possibly have to gain by handing out an otherwise good meal to dogs, when he could sell it to human beings? a dog cannot pay for spaghetti, and payment is the only honest way to truly show appreciation for value - one star
quetzy is going to be the coolest baby on the block. soon she will be smoking cigarettes, discussing nietzsche and will be seen at the riot house bar, swigging scotch on a regular basis. with a hip mom like the doll, there will be no barbies and cartoons for Q!
