bae gets hemmed up

wears "i love dope" shirt, gets busted for you know where this is going.....

in cokey behavior typical of the doll via 3 years ago, bae just joined the long list of lames - which includes former baby babble heartbreaks beau badman, joey and jimmy kiss and maynard alberkraut - whose address reads : inmate #equis, cellblock 67, c/o the pokey, downtown arcadia.

all i can say is mr. baebel takes one glamorous mugshot and delivers the good people of arcadia some bad boy realness, while throwing a glazed-look that either says "i just got done crying in the back of the paddywagon" or, "can we hurry this shit up? there's an 8-ball out there just calling my name" and wearing a throwback track jacket that tells me he definitely hit a lick on an emo hipster teenager before he got to the police station. beat that camera with your eyes, bae.

naturally argosy dropped everything she was doing - crackpipe - and ran to downtown to throw rocks at bae's window and flash him from the street below.

and it looks like she'll have all the time in the world - sodapop told reporters that, despite argosy's lame attempts to auction her soul off, she will no longer be working on the shady lake set. DUH! you don't have to be stephen hawking to figure that one out.

i'll bet the laughs could be heard bouncing off the canyons the day she showed up to the set! the doll probably pointed to the dumpster and said, "go back to where you came from."

bae's crazy ex goes crazy on the doll

ah, and just when everything was going so well! LOL - not. kathleen extended her stay in arcadia and right when she and bae baebel were just beginning to fall madly in cokey love circa the old days, he went and screwed it all up!

sodapop told papers that bae just got out of a ultra toxic relationship...with none other than argosy burns, star of kathleen's first film, shady lake, and daughter of baby babble's boss. of fucking course she is! cut the water and power, baby babble, this bitch has got to go! and it didn't take long for argosy to go stage 5 screw loose schizo - soda told papers that she has been ringing the house nonstop and paging the doll under various numbers and names, threatening to beat her up. just your your everyday basic white female syndrome shit. you know argosy is camped out of lisbon drive, sleeping in her car, stealing the doll's mail and probably trying to convince bae she is pregnant with his kid. this girl sounds on the level.

sadly, whatever hooks argosy has in bae have stuck, because he got word to doll to kindly fuck the fuck off and that he and argosy are going to give their relationship another shot. um, she didn't take it well.

first thing, she phoned argosy and said, "I IS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, THAT'S WHO I IS!!!" and then quickly added a brutal death sequence in shady lake in which argosy's character plummets to a pit of alligators and is eaten alive.

don't worry, doll, this isn't the last they've seen of you! they won't live long to tell the tale. not because you'll murder them, but because they are junkies slowly dying of lame needle drugs like people back in the 19_0s. don't get me wrong - i 'get' how some romanticize being a drug junkie during more "authentic" times, but not kathleen - she prefers smoking doobies and vibing out to the twilight zone on the reg.

the doll should totally ask for that £20 she lent bae back.

life's a beach - kat tells joey to "pound sand"

and also "piss up a rope"

earlier, kathleen and joey get in a knockdown dragout fight reminiscent of their more cokey days and it ended in the two going their separate ways for the night. kathleen was seen being dropped off at nearby hans von holzy's house by headlock via gravedigger and joey hoofed it to the riot house to book a suite. sodapop has the house to himself? party at the doll's! BYOB!
naturally, sodapop was lonely and quick to call all the press in his phonebook to spill every last bean about the row. long story short? he said that their fight may or may not have had something to do with joey wanting to fire hans as director of shady lake because, um, i don't know, the doll has a big boner for him?
and she must have a built-in amplifier, because neighbors claimed they could hear the two fighting from down the block. from the sounds of it, hans is getting a little too close to the beautiful pregnant one and it's causing a rift between the famous couple. and now, with only a couple month to go until baby blastoff, those two are fighting? say it ain't so!
they will always be the world's #1 couple and hans isn't going to change that! do the right thing, doll, and go back to joey and pretend it was all a bad dream! just like beau badman.