bae gets hemmed up

wears "i love dope" shirt, gets busted for you know where this is going.....

in cokey behavior typical of the doll via 3 years ago, bae just joined the long list of lames - which includes former baby babble heartbreaks beau badman, joey and jimmy kiss and maynard alberkraut - whose address reads : inmate #equis, cellblock 67, c/o the pokey, downtown arcadia.

all i can say is mr. baebel takes one glamorous mugshot and delivers the good people of arcadia some bad boy realness, while throwing a glazed-look that either says "i just got done crying in the back of the paddywagon" or, "can we hurry this shit up? there's an 8-ball out there just calling my name" and wearing a throwback track jacket that tells me he definitely hit a lick on an emo hipster teenager before he got to the police station. beat that camera with your eyes, bae.

naturally argosy dropped everything she was doing - crackpipe - and ran to downtown to throw rocks at bae's window and flash him from the street below.

and it looks like she'll have all the time in the world - sodapop told reporters that, despite argosy's lame attempts to auction her soul off, she will no longer be working on the shady lake set. DUH! you don't have to be stephen hawking to figure that one out.

i'll bet the laughs could be heard bouncing off the canyons the day she showed up to the set! the doll probably pointed to the dumpster and said, "go back to where you came from."

life's a beach - kat tells joey to "pound sand"

and also "piss up a rope"

earlier, kathleen and joey get in a knockdown dragout fight reminiscent of their more cokey days and it ended in the two going their separate ways for the night. kathleen was seen being dropped off at nearby hans von holzy's house by headlock via gravedigger and joey hoofed it to the riot house to book a suite. sodapop has the house to himself? party at the doll's! BYOB!
naturally, sodapop was lonely and quick to call all the press in his phonebook to spill every last bean about the row. long story short? he said that their fight may or may not have had something to do with joey wanting to fire hans as director of shady lake because, um, i don't know, the doll has a big boner for him?
and she must have a built-in amplifier, because neighbors claimed they could hear the two fighting from down the block. from the sounds of it, hans is getting a little too close to the beautiful pregnant one and it's causing a rift between the famous couple. and now, with only a couple month to go until baby blastoff, those two are fighting? say it ain't so!
they will always be the world's #1 couple and hans isn't going to change that! do the right thing, doll, and go back to joey and pretend it was all a bad dream! just like beau badman.

are the kisses growing apart?

pregnant kathleen goes to ultrasound appointment; doesn't invite joey

or is it just mercury retrograde to blame?
if you asked kathleen, she would adamantly deny that the famous couple are having issues - but just ask soda! he'll tell you that the two sleep in separate bedrooms at night. soda will also tell you that joey has gone back to heroin and booze to cope; and that the doll has sleepovers with holzy all the time.
obviously this is from sodapop's mouth to your ears, so take the words with a gram of penicillin, because he hasn't been known to always tell the most truthful tales.
so today, when kathleen chose van holzy to accompany her to her usual doctor's appointment, it came as quite the surprise. and as if there wasn't enough drama with holzy, jimmy got on his soapbox to deliver a bunch of press-worthy anecdotes, including how the stage 6 doll "situation" with holzy is just like the time she cheated on him with beau badman!
wet mop jimmy kiss said that the doll texts him all the time - first lie, kiss, we all know she only has a 1998-edition purple pager - and mentions making plans when joey isn't around. um, gulp. i feel sick. why do they have to be brothers? johnny isn't safe. he needs to change his identity and move out of the country.