baby babble gets bae'd up

has best movie date ever

bae baebel may have lived in arcadia his entire life, but the doll just took note!

after the sad, broken remains of whatever the doll and joey had turned to rust, crumbled and went back where it came from, kathleen is finally over kiss.

enter bae : wild indian, curly-hair, shamanistic qualities, but still a little bit of a thug - basically everything wet mop kiss was not. what the doll might call a "real man." key word : MIGHT.

and the way his gangster is set up - bae had already organized a super cool cokey drug deal at the movie theatre. on top of that, he paid with gift cards and brought in a plastic grocery bag of liquor and assorted drugs and sundries, not giving 2 fucks about the security and also not giving 2 fucks about embarrassing pobrecita baby babble who has more than enough petty cash to cover tickets, 2 cocktails and some candy, but, um...do your thing bae...it's cute that you're trying. besides, as high and mighty his ass might be - you know he totally asked the doll to bum £20 on their way out. he just seems the type and kathleen can't resist.

before the movie began, the two had to use the bathroom and after the doll waited 15+ minutes - aka forever in her time - she went in alone, probably wondering WTF bae was up to...who knows? enter bae again : within seconds of sitting down, he cracked open two beers, kicked his feet up on a seat and took a phone call. i am sure the people in the movie theatre were like, um, plz let these people be struck dead by lightening right now...i know i would be.

and then the drug deal! bae dipped off, leaving kathleen by herself again, and came back moments later. the doll didn't fall off the back of the turnip truck yesterday - she asked if he was still holding. um, hunny, this is bae we're talking about - if he wasn't holding, you wouldn't have the right person.

she then demanded, princess style, that he take the rest of the drugs. and she sure as shit didn't have to tell him twice! he left to snort lines in the bathroom, came back and 15 minutes later the movie was over. best. date. ever.

jk, worst date ever.

is baby babble going batty?

doll writes joey love notes

the press is having a field day poking fun at heartbroken doll - they "discovered" (and by discovered, i mean they carefully picked through a trashcan) several love notes left for joey outside of the hovel he is currently calling home.

ummm did i miss something? why is the beautiful one writing joey anything except for a bill for all the valuable time she wasted with him?!

one reads :

you're my joey - you'll always be my joey. i'll always love you baby. don't ever fucking question that.

*gulps* i totally see them getting back together in 4, 3, 2.......

another love notes reads like lyrics from a 1970s song :

do you remember when we first met? that's the day i knew you were my pet.

but my favorite reads :

you'll always be my baby baby baby, don't ever forget me.

doll, are you drunk? he couldn't forget you even if he got a lobotomy! first of all, you've been together for like 5 years and you two are having a child together, remember?! OMG, you really need to stop with the drama.

besides, shouldn't joey be racking whatever brain cells he has left for ways to get baby babble back? and if he can't come up with any ideas, he surely should ask his brother jimmy - it hasn't been long since those 2 split, maybe he remembers a shortcut into getting back to the doll's good graces.

.....or not! i say let them do whatever it is those two want to do. if they want to hug and kiss it out - fine - and if later kathleen wants to blame it all on mercury retrograde - so be it.

kathleen to fans : "never kiss your dreams goodbye"

get it? kiss  your dreams goodbye!

who knows if she's talking about the original kiss : jimmy or his currently incarcerated, second-rate version little brother, joey. all i know is, she's answering fanmail again so that must mean either the fanmail is really piling up at the kisses and she can't take it anymore - or she is really trying to tell us something...

Q: What's the real story with you and Hans Von Holzhausen?
A: sounds like a german-austrian movie star
Q: What are you thinking right now?
A: i can't believe i am missing boy meets world for this!
Q: Do you have any secret admiriers?
A: shhh don't tell anyone....LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS....
Q: Is there anyone you are secretly admiring?
A: i get asked this all the time and although am as faithful as faithful gets; i do secretly admire from a distance
Q: With all the baby weight - are you going to be in the gym?
A: ROFL I LIFT WEIGHT BUT I DON'T SWEAT I GO 4 A SWIM BUT I DON'T GET WET
Q: What sign are you?
A: AQUEMINI - here we go aquarius, pisces, feel the flow of the fluid as i swim through it...
Q: Do you still talk to Jimmy Kiss?
A: always and forever - never kiss your dreams goodbye!
Q: How do you feel about Holzy?
A: MAGNET + STEEL; MAPOLEON AND MARIA COUNTESS WALEWSKA
Q: How does Joey feel about Holzy?
A: sees red, goes red; blacks out in a rage; throws things; throws a fit; has a panik
Q: How did Holzy get you hooked?
A: BITCHES LUV SMILEY FACES :) I LUV U HUNNY
Q: Do you take any medications?
A: cacidex pills twice a day and lupron shots
Q: Why go on a skate date with Holzy, when you knew it would get on Joey's nerves?
A: joey gets on my nerves - besides, holzy is cute and joey acts like his brother sometimes
Q: Why don't you have any friends that are women?
A: ladies is trouble - argosy is my type of woman, crazy/beautiful
Q: What names are you considering for the baby?
A: lux zarathustra.....or john joseph james kiss
Q: Is it hard to go out in public, what with all the weirdos that try to meet you, take pictures with you, etc.?
A:i am the realest fake person that there ever was - i'll sign anything, take pictures no makeup
Q: Where is your favorite place to get away?
A: grimaldi - b/c i can be a completely different person with a completely different name
Q: What are you doing right now?
A: sitting on my sofacouch, across from joey - who is passed out, dead, ZZZZz asleep - with the TV blaring. shuggie is the only person awake (it's 2:02 AM) and is in the kitchen. smells like......coffee. coffee and blueberry muffins? on the floor, wrapped in a nest of blankets and plush pillows, is sodapop. twilight zone is playing on the TV; rod sterling is in frame, smoking a cigarette. i need to take my fake eyelashes off. i am drinking a smoothie i just made of blueberries, strawberries and papaya nectar and i want a slice of angel food cake.
Q: Have you given up on finishing ❤?
A: NEVER THAT NEVER THAT - we're having the wrap party for ❤ soon, check your mail for invites.....JK!
Q: Do you miss having your nightly champagne cocktails now that you're pregnant?
A: who said i can't have a champagne cocktail? WUT R U - A COP?

wow. sounds like her valentine's day was super bien romantic. it's like i was just shot with cupid's arrow.

are the kisses growing apart?

pregnant kathleen goes to ultrasound appointment; doesn't invite joey


or is it just mercury retrograde to blame?
if you asked kathleen, she would adamantly deny that the famous couple are having issues - but just ask soda! he'll tell you that the two sleep in separate bedrooms at night. soda will also tell you that joey has gone back to heroin and booze to cope; and that the doll has sleepovers with holzy all the time.
obviously this is from sodapop's mouth to your ears, so take the words with a gram of penicillin, because he hasn't been known to always tell the most truthful tales.
so today, when kathleen chose van holzy to accompany her to her usual doctor's appointment, it came as quite the surprise. and as if there wasn't enough drama with holzy, jimmy got on his soapbox to deliver a bunch of press-worthy anecdotes, including how the stage 6 doll "situation" with holzy is just like the time she cheated on him with beau badman!
wet mop jimmy kiss said that the doll texts him all the time - first lie, kiss, we all know she only has a 1998-edition purple pager - and mentions making plans when joey isn't around. um, gulp. i feel sick. why do they have to be brothers? johnny isn't safe. he needs to change his identity and move out of the country.

happy new year!

time to toast! grab your champagne glass! 

may it be a year full of happiness, babies and weddings. hopefully all of the cocaine, heroin, booze, needles, devil worshiping, exhaustion, ciggies, pills, drunk driving, suicide attempts, etc, etc. will be left in the past! 2014 doesn't need the drama.

also, could we leave jimmy in the past too? just him being alive and breathing spins rumors that he and the doll are still together! and we already have enough trouble with sexy von holzy!

in other doll news, photographers were quick to snap photos of kathleen drinking what appeared to be champagne, even though she promised, crossed her heart and hoped to die that there was only apple juice in her flute. and you know what? i believe her!