doll kicks it on indian reservation for a week

gets bae'd up

the doll was supposed to go home last week to see mama doll, hire her on as a newborn nursemaid and return back to to paradise, but because she is who she is...it didn't quite go down like that.

instead, as soon as she landed, kathleen got boo'd up with some mystery man! sodapop told papers that his mother was "furious" after discovering that his sister's plane landed and she immediately hauled tail to spend time with "some guy" on a nearby indian reservation.

SOME GUY?!?!?! the doll wouldn't hang with just anyone. she keeps very few people in her circle, she is such a drama queen. but the perp actually has a name and somewhat of a purpose in life - his name is bae baebel, and he works on the reservation as a medicine man. someone should have said that in the first place! duh, lil mama was just there to score some magic mushrooms off her new found shaman indian boo...

maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but it sure didn't take long for the doll to fall head over ballet slippers in love! right now she is currently, probably, 9 times out of 10 looking for a way to add his name on the baby's birth certificate. JK! she only added him to her bank account, lease, life insurance policy and her will.

the best part of the story is, as smart as kathleen is, she went into mercury retrograde for a hot minute and forgot that horseback is not the most convenient way to the airport. she had to phone up - you guessed it - mama doll! mama doll was obvio less than excited to make that trip. in fact, soda told papers that before she reluctantly agreed, she screeched, "why don't you get that chief littlefeather to take you?!" LOL, put the young blood in her place!

seriously doll, stop tripping. go back home to the isle of grimaldi, cleanse your soul of evil eyes in the ocean and forget about your lame pow-wow under the full moon, beside the campfire and where wild coyotes were yipping around the totem pole. you'll live to break another heart and bae can go back to whatever rock he crawled out from underneath. continue on!

is baby babble going batty?

doll writes joey love notes

the press is having a field day poking fun at heartbroken doll - they "discovered" (and by discovered, i mean they carefully picked through a trashcan) several love notes left for joey outside of the hovel he is currently calling home.

ummm did i miss something? why is the beautiful one writing joey anything except for a bill for all the valuable time she wasted with him?!

one reads :

you're my joey - you'll always be my joey. i'll always love you baby. don't ever fucking question that.

*gulps* i totally see them getting back together in 4, 3, 2.......

another love notes reads like lyrics from a 1970s song :

do you remember when we first met? that's the day i knew you were my pet.

but my favorite reads :

you'll always be my baby baby baby, don't ever forget me.

doll, are you drunk? he couldn't forget you even if he got a lobotomy! first of all, you've been together for like 5 years and you two are having a child together, remember?! OMG, you really need to stop with the drama.

besides, shouldn't joey be racking whatever brain cells he has left for ways to get baby babble back? and if he can't come up with any ideas, he surely should ask his brother jimmy - it hasn't been long since those 2 split, maybe he remembers a shortcut into getting back to the doll's good graces.

.....or not! i say let them do whatever it is those two want to do. if they want to hug and kiss it out - fine - and if later kathleen wants to blame it all on mercury retrograde - so be it.

are the kisses growing apart?

pregnant kathleen goes to ultrasound appointment; doesn't invite joey

or is it just mercury retrograde to blame?
if you asked kathleen, she would adamantly deny that the famous couple are having issues - but just ask soda! he'll tell you that the two sleep in separate bedrooms at night. soda will also tell you that joey has gone back to heroin and booze to cope; and that the doll has sleepovers with holzy all the time.
obviously this is from sodapop's mouth to your ears, so take the words with a gram of penicillin, because he hasn't been known to always tell the most truthful tales.
so today, when kathleen chose van holzy to accompany her to her usual doctor's appointment, it came as quite the surprise. and as if there wasn't enough drama with holzy, jimmy got on his soapbox to deliver a bunch of press-worthy anecdotes, including how the stage 6 doll "situation" with holzy is just like the time she cheated on him with beau badman!
wet mop jimmy kiss said that the doll texts him all the time - first lie, kiss, we all know she only has a 1998-edition purple pager - and mentions making plans when joey isn't around. um, gulp. i feel sick. why do they have to be brothers? johnny isn't safe. he needs to change his identity and move out of the country.