welcome quetzy lux

it's a glorious day for the makers of blonde hair dye for babies and for drama queens who need some inspiration, because yesterday in a glamorous birthing suite in a hospital in arcadia somewhere, a baby was evacuated from the doll's body to the sounds of angels in heaven singing harmoniously.

what a proud moment for baby daddy joey...NOT! sodapop told the throng of reporters outside that as soon as his sister set sights on joey, she picked up her bedside phone and told the nurse to call security, because there was a "strange man" she didn't know in her room. LOL, she would. joey is a strange man.

on his way out of the hospital, joey caught up with the fence and basically said everything is alleged, because, "there are no stones being thrown her way. the devil is in full effect at all times. god is the way." LOL and then god said, "...um, i don't know him."

but honestly, nobody really cares. the only detail any of us really care about is THE NAME!!!! and allow me to introduce :

quetzalith lux büüski honeyblossum zarathustra kiss

...or you know, "Q" for short, or quetzy lux.

let's be real, i think the doll threw a bunch of scrabble letters in a lottery machine and this is what came out. the doll should have really paid tribute to her real loves by naming her daughter ballet slipper cocaine candy kiss, but oh well....

welcome baby Q!

life's a beach - kat tells joey to "pound sand"

and also "piss up a rope"

earlier, kathleen and joey get in a knockdown dragout fight reminiscent of their more cokey days and it ended in the two going their separate ways for the night. kathleen was seen being dropped off at nearby hans von holzy's house by headlock via gravedigger and joey hoofed it to the riot house to book a suite. sodapop has the house to himself? party at the doll's! BYOB!
naturally, sodapop was lonely and quick to call all the press in his phonebook to spill every last bean about the row. long story short? he said that their fight may or may not have had something to do with joey wanting to fire hans as director of shady lake because, um, i don't know, the doll has a big boner for him?
and she must have a built-in amplifier, because neighbors claimed they could hear the two fighting from down the block. from the sounds of it, hans is getting a little too close to the beautiful pregnant one and it's causing a rift between the famous couple. and now, with only a couple month to go until baby blastoff, those two are fighting? say it ain't so!
they will always be the world's #1 couple and hans isn't going to change that! do the right thing, doll, and go back to joey and pretend it was all a bad dream! just like beau badman.

shocker! beautiful one smokes bday clove while pregnant

better than a bday blunt, but still.....

scandalous pictures surfaced from kathleen's birthday party last night, which continued into the wee hours of this morning, of her smoking a clove and she is under all sorts of fire for it! when kathleen woke up this morning, put on her fake eyelashes and strolled into the XERB TV station to make a special appearance on the 10 AM news, i doubt she expected to be face to face with pictures of herself smoking.....only that's exactly how it went down.

she must have been feeling nice, because she began to take questions from the audience about her pregnancy, when one of the anchors asked her about the photo of her puff puff puffing away. you could practically see the train engine steam coming from the doll's ears. she calmly took a breath and told the anchor, "you had better take that photo off of the screen. now."

gulp. she means business. seconds later, the interview was over and the doll stomped off of the stage.

once outside the studio, kathleen told press agents to toilet-papers the anchor's house and then proceeded to give the woman's address. LOL, go doll! revenge is a dish best served piping hot.

are the kisses growing apart?

pregnant kathleen goes to ultrasound appointment; doesn't invite joey

or is it just mercury retrograde to blame?
if you asked kathleen, she would adamantly deny that the famous couple are having issues - but just ask soda! he'll tell you that the two sleep in separate bedrooms at night. soda will also tell you that joey has gone back to heroin and booze to cope; and that the doll has sleepovers with holzy all the time.
obviously this is from sodapop's mouth to your ears, so take the words with a gram of penicillin, because he hasn't been known to always tell the most truthful tales.
so today, when kathleen chose van holzy to accompany her to her usual doctor's appointment, it came as quite the surprise. and as if there wasn't enough drama with holzy, jimmy got on his soapbox to deliver a bunch of press-worthy anecdotes, including how the stage 6 doll "situation" with holzy is just like the time she cheated on him with beau badman!
wet mop jimmy kiss said that the doll texts him all the time - first lie, kiss, we all know she only has a 1998-edition purple pager - and mentions making plans when joey isn't around. um, gulp. i feel sick. why do they have to be brothers? johnny isn't safe. he needs to change his identity and move out of the country.

happy new year!

time to toast! grab your champagne glass! 

may it be a year full of happiness, babies and weddings. hopefully all of the cocaine, heroin, booze, needles, devil worshiping, exhaustion, ciggies, pills, drunk driving, suicide attempts, etc, etc. will be left in the past! 2014 doesn't need the drama.

also, could we leave jimmy in the past too? just him being alive and breathing spins rumors that he and the doll are still together! and we already have enough trouble with sexy von holzy!

in other doll news, photographers were quick to snap photos of kathleen drinking what appeared to be champagne, even though she promised, crossed her heart and hoped to die that there was only apple juice in her flute. and you know what? i believe her!