doll exchanges love letters

while bae is in the hole!

oh doll, jail life isn't pretty!

our beautiful queen doll has lately been finding herself #1 clink pen pal to none other than bae baebel, the same pea-brained toad who broke her heart into smithereens not a couple months ago!! only her last couple letters were not returned....commence media blackout!

it didn't take long for the sunshine kid to turn category 5 hurricane bitch and haul her cookies down to the cop shop for some answers! LOL on a scale of 0 to chris brown she was pissed.

the pigs didn't have much to say other than he was punished after guards watched a video visit between the doll and bae. and to answer your question - the shit wasn't PG-13 by any means. so obvio, they took his privileges away, one being letter writing.

OMG i love them they are like a poetic, second rate, straight-to-video version of sid and nancy. next she'll be hanging outside the methadone clinic in fishnet tights, smoking ciggies like it was CBGBs 1977. how punk.

just, um, don't put money on his commissary!! you should spend that shit on bubble baths, hair dye, nail polish, fake eyelashes, high heels, trips to the drive-in movie theatre, glow sticks, comfy non-skid house slippers, a yacht, cheeseburgers, magic spells, snow tires for the gravedigger, the movie titanic, bathroom caulk, candy, unpaid parking tickets, a complete thanksgiving meal, an albino sphynx, books on learning portuguese, a pony, a gustav klimt painting, cold medicine, a cruise to the bahamas, groceries, a new pair of ballet slippers, a better world perspective, a john bonham-worthy drum set, lip gloss......do you see where i am going with this?? spend your money on anything else! i mean, shit, can i get something?

she's the type of person you want to be friends with. writes your ass letters and makes sure you have some junk food. next she'll flash him during visitation and give him a stripper-style lapdance. oh wait........

bae gets hemmed up

wears "i love dope" shirt, gets busted for you know where this is going.....

in cokey behavior typical of the doll via 3 years ago, bae just joined the long list of lames - which includes former baby babble heartbreaks beau badman, joey and jimmy kiss and maynard alberkraut - whose address reads : inmate #equis, cellblock 67, c/o the pokey, downtown arcadia.

all i can say is mr. baebel takes one glamorous mugshot and delivers the good people of arcadia some bad boy realness, while throwing a glazed-look that either says "i just got done crying in the back of the paddywagon" or, "can we hurry this shit up? there's an 8-ball out there just calling my name" and wearing a throwback track jacket that tells me he definitely hit a lick on an emo hipster teenager before he got to the police station. beat that camera with your eyes, bae.

naturally argosy dropped everything she was doing - crackpipe - and ran to downtown to throw rocks at bae's window and flash him from the street below.

and it looks like she'll have all the time in the world - sodapop told reporters that, despite argosy's lame attempts to auction her soul off, she will no longer be working on the shady lake set. DUH! you don't have to be stephen hawking to figure that one out.

i'll bet the laughs could be heard bouncing off the canyons the day she showed up to the set! the doll probably pointed to the dumpster and said, "go back to where you came from."

ACAB

all cops are bastards - just ask 'right hook' kiss!

this is sad news we all saw coming - joey kiss beat doll crush hans von holzy in front of god and everybody.....and then promptly gets thrown in the clink!
you gotta hand it to him, though - nobody touches his baby, not even if his baby is willing! outside of the riot house, the two hotheaded males bumped into each other and hans was in the wrong place at the wrong time when we're talking about "right hook" joey, because he ended up spending the night in the hospital.
and even though joey is grinning from ear to ear because he is now the new featherweight champion of the arcadian streets, his skinny ass is still doing it in jail.
well, well, well doll - looks like you're on your own!