doll exchanges love letters

while bae is in the hole!

oh doll, jail life isn't pretty!

our beautiful queen doll has lately been finding herself #1 clink pen pal to none other than bae baebel, the same pea-brained toad who broke her heart into smithereens not a couple months ago!! only her last couple letters were not returned....commence media blackout!

it didn't take long for the sunshine kid to turn category 5 hurricane bitch and haul her cookies down to the cop shop for some answers! LOL on a scale of 0 to chris brown she was pissed.

the pigs didn't have much to say other than he was punished after guards watched a video visit between the doll and bae. and to answer your question - the shit wasn't PG-13 by any means. so obvio, they took his privileges away, one being letter writing.

OMG i love them they are like a poetic, second rate, straight-to-video version of sid and nancy. next she'll be hanging outside the methadone clinic in fishnet tights, smoking ciggies like it was CBGBs 1977. how punk.

just, um, don't put money on his commissary!! you should spend that shit on bubble baths, hair dye, nail polish, fake eyelashes, high heels, trips to the drive-in movie theatre, glow sticks, comfy non-skid house slippers, a yacht, cheeseburgers, magic spells, snow tires for the gravedigger, the movie titanic, bathroom caulk, candy, unpaid parking tickets, a complete thanksgiving meal, an albino sphynx, books on learning portuguese, a pony, a gustav klimt painting, cold medicine, a cruise to the bahamas, groceries, a new pair of ballet slippers, a better world perspective, a john bonham-worthy drum set, lip gloss......do you see where i am going with this?? spend your money on anything else! i mean, shit, can i get something?

she's the type of person you want to be friends with. writes your ass letters and makes sure you have some junk food. next she'll flash him during visitation and give him a stripper-style lapdance. oh wait........

doll unplugged

living with music produce extraordinaire joey kiss must have rubbed off on the doll, because she hosted a sold out, one night only acoustic guitar gig last night at her riot house in arcadia with the lost boys loyal, eddie spaghetti and freddy the freeloader, with proceeds benefiting rocko j. nasty's family. it was aired live on late night television to over a million viewers.

she played only 1970s soul covers and had joey kiss on backup vocals. aw. the stage was dotted with lilies, orchids, black candles, heavy wine colored drapery and a giant gothic crystal chandelier, almost like that of a funeral.

the last song played was dedicated to the late rocko and it was the lost boys' own punk rock rendition of childhood favorite, "a cowboy needs a horse." sad.

but still, the doll knows how to put on a show! she really cast a spell on the audience, if you know what i mean - even though her voice sounds like someone swinging a cat around their head...