doll goes back to the future

reactivates pager from 1998

instead of her usual three cell phones - one for business, one for international interviews and one personal - that would be floating around the doll's person, she has traded them for a purple glitter pager. her reason? she said that technology was "pissing her off." sounds more like pregnancy hormones.

instead of a laptop, kathleen has always handwritten her work and paid someone to transfer over to a computer. a typewriter is probably even too advanced for her and would appear like a robot toy from another planet.

sodapop says that his sister warns everyone to be wary of technology and constantly alludes to fahrenheit 451. he says that people find this very annoying and some have refused to do business with her because she is "hard to reach".

well now, thanks to the addition of that purple pager, she will be even more difficult to get in touch with.

jimmy kiss - "gossipy bitch"

this is news that we all saw coming, but in the doll's defense - whatever it is, she didn't do it!

sometimes i forget that joey is related to wet mop jimmy, and i'm sure the doll tries to forget every day of her life. we all made mistakes back in high school, but jimmy kiss had to have been the worst.

always greasy, always a punk and generally in a trilby hat - jimmy kiss was the first person to charm baby babble's heart. who knows if it was the coke, the booze or the stars in her eyes, but for years, she and jimmy were in love.

for years he photographed their life together and kathleen wrote about it. naturally, he would have plenty of candid shots and today, he told papers he is thisclose to bringing some of them into the police. jimmy told reporters that he has footage of the doll exchanging money stolen from hep parade to pay for drugs. he needs to check his facts because the beautiful one doesn't pay for drugs - she gets them for free.

where is this coming from, jimmy? one day you are talking about locking lips with her when you were in junior high and the next you are digging a ditch for her good name!

today's headlines : "the doll makes £600,000 mistake"

i have a feeling the doll is wanting to crawl into a little doll ball and disappear from the world for awhile. first she has jimmy kiss running around, reminding everyone that the two used to make out when they were 14 year olds; and now she has sammy "third degree" burns wondering where his £600,000 ran off to! i am positive sammy is reading the headlines of the local grimaldi newspaper with a disapproving look. it went down yesterday, when what was supposed to be a routine trip to the bank went awry. by complete accident, the doll misplaced £600,000 of sammy's money and didn't even give him so much as an I.O.U!

kathleen's story goes that she got the envelope of money, meant for sammy's personal bank account, and on the way to the bank, she accidentally dropped some of the money in the envelope while at the gas station. more like dropped it in a drug dealer's hands! i know what you're thinking, doesn't she know how to count? but don't blame the doll - she left public school at a tender age to pursue a higher life of shooting dope and hopping trains with greasy punks. oh, and frenching an entire family whose name rhymes with 'piss.' luckily this is something we can all *sigh* and LOL about now, because sammy has chosen to bail out his chosen one yet again. he decided to spare the doll, and her multimillion dollar contract because, "what's nothing to someone who gives it away for free? she's not for sale so money is of no object..." ok, i want a handful of what they're on.

the doll doesn't want to talk about babies or suicide

goes on TV to let everyone know

the doll was on a popular grimaldi news programme this afternoon to talk about shady lake. now, the channel might as well have said it was a tell-all interview about joey's suicide and her miscarriage, because the host had a barrage of questions that were 100% off-topic. the interview went something like this:

host: so, kathleen, how's it been going? kathleen: been writing a lot for the upcoming movie, shady lake
host: what has this experience been like?
kathleen: next question.
host: but a lot of people found your miscarriage unbelievably tragic...what did you think about it?
kathleen: you have to be kidding me.
host: and then to have joey, your fiancé, nearly commit suicide. what do you hope the future to hold for you two?
kathleen: *laughs* i can't believe i was dumb enough to book this show.
host: do you still love him?
kathleen: i love him enough for the both of us.

once outside the studio, she bitched and moaned about the interview and said she would put a spell on the host. just kidding! she said she would use her ouija board to communicate with ghostly spirits to haunt the host.

the world's #1 couple goes to the isle of 8-balls

running around the globe promoting your bestselling book and trying to commit suicide are super tiring activities, so the kisses have decided to take a vacation. they're spending the week on the isle of grimaldi, in the birdcage neighborhood - an area known for it's constant playing of disco music, high occupancy of only the best, extra-fruity homosexuals and widespread usage of club drugs. basically, it's the party that never stops.

kathleen talked argosy, daughter of sammy 'third degree' burns (who owns hep parade ), into opening the doors to her family mansion - today, the doll told papers that she "would never leave," and that argosy made, "a huge tactical error" in giving her the master set of keys.

baby babble then told the fence that she is due back in the office on monday, but has already phoned in sick in advance. yeah, she's sick alright - sick of working! she ended the conversation with reporters by assuring she was not joking.

in other doll news, she has officially changed her address from 1999 lisbon lane, easy street hills of arcadia to big mansion down the street from a bunch of drag clubs, isle of grimaldi

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