joey kiss goes on stag weekend, forgets to tell doll

joey and others leave town to scout locations for shady lake

the doll is all alone in arcadia tonight - joey kiss is out of town in monticello, scouting possible filming locations for shady lake. and he couldn't do it alone! he brought johnny kiss, sodapop and ludo ludovic along for what looks like more of a boys weekend than a business trip. as for headlock and shuggie bo bellski - the two have also taken the weekend off to go to a baseball game in cielo. enter beau badman in 3, 2, 1.....

baby babble told the papers that she plans on spending the weekend soaking in the tub, writing, watching old horror movies, smoking doobies, blasting punk music, having séances, painting her nails, watching the twilight zone, reading her future via tarot cards, planning the wedding of the century, listening to the wolfman jack show, etc...but she will definitely NOT be calling joey kiss for anything!

she told reporters that he hasn't called for 2 days, but sodapop has! and you know the mouth on soda - before long, he had spilled everything.

apparently the crew isn't exclusively scouting for locations, the boys have also taken it upon themselves to party like it's 1999. poor doll. she's just jealous! at home, all alone while the boys are on a stag weekend. oh well, she'll live.

joey kiss is a video ho

stars in lost boys' latest video

and by all means, the doll is a video ho as well. the lost boys' latest video, "nancy is a heartbreaker," stars the two as themselves. in the first scene, the doll and her beau are engaged in one of their usual knock down and drag out crackhead fights, when the doll throws her famous locket with joey's picture inside right at his face! thus, making her the heartbreaker...

cut to the second scene - joey is walking, and no, not to the pawn shop to get some money for that locket in the last scene - joey is walking home, to change and head out for a night with the lost boys. he throws on a ratty white tee shirt, some tight black pants and a nasty, disease-infested leather jacket. the boys are dressed similarly. the video cues to a shot of downtown grimaldi. the sun is setting between buildings. clips of the night are playing : joey wilding out, breaking beer bottles in the street, doing whippets, hanging with gang members, skateboarding with other punks, greasing his hair back, dancing his skinny booty off, robbing people, flipping off the camera, air-boxing, smoking blunts, playing grab-ass.........you get the picture. cut to end scene : joey stumbles into some kind of random hotel party and immediately eyes the doll in a corner. as he makes his way over to her, he begins stripping and the video ends with the two making out and rolling around in a bathroom. ICK NAST.

firstly, who would want to roll around with greasy joey kiss, let alone on the floor of some gross hotel party? make better choices doll! otherwise, kathleen was born to play the role of the heartbreaker. i was just wondering why my boy shuggie didn't make his big screen debut! with a stage name like shuggie bo bellski, he is bound for stardom. trust.

the world's #1 couple goes to the isle of 8-balls

running around the globe promoting your bestselling book and trying to commit suicide are super tiring activities, so the kisses have decided to take a vacation. they're spending the week on the isle of grimaldi, in the birdcage neighborhood - an area known for it's constant playing of disco music, high occupancy of only the best, extra-fruity homosexuals and widespread usage of club drugs. basically, it's the party that never stops.

kathleen talked argosy, daughter of sammy 'third degree' burns (who owns hep parade ), into opening the doors to her family mansion - today, the doll told papers that she "would never leave," and that argosy made, "a huge tactical error" in giving her the master set of keys.

baby babble then told the fence that she is due back in the office on monday, but has already phoned in sick in advance. yeah, she's sick alright - sick of working! she ended the conversation with reporters by assuring she was not joking.

in other doll news, she has officially changed her address from 1999 lisbon lane, easy street hills of arcadia to big mansion down the street from a bunch of drag clubs, isle of grimaldi

.

happy birthday, dear doll, happy birthday to you!

looking as beautiful as ever, kathleen was a glowing picture of class and ladylike presence at the l'amour bar and restaurant tonight as she celebrated her birthday with close confidants. after blowing out candles on the rainbow birthday cake that she specially requested, the doll opened presents with a select group of mates - including fiancé joey kiss, ludo ludovic, the lost boys and brother sodapop cola.

kathleen must be the hardest person to shop for in the history of birthdays - or people must just ordinarily get her drugs as gifts - because all of her presents this year straight sucked the big one. joey kiss set the bar by giving his paramour a leather jacket and pair of motorcycle boots - which she can't even use because she's knocked up and shouldn't be riding motorcycles anyways - as well as a trilby full of eskimo kisses. he also paid for a small surprise fireworks show to take place after the dinner, which went off without any hang-ups.

ludo ludovic sleeps in a tiny shack on the edge of the kiss cradle property and laps rainwater from the birdbath to quench his thirst, so you know that he has no money. being that he couldn't afford much, ludo ended up buying the million dollar brat a cheap bouquet of pink roses and a box of candies; but brought it back home when kathleen opened his third gift - which was trotsky's hand watch. i'll bet baby babble was a happy camper - it's almost as if trotsky got up out of the graveyard and gave it to her himself. the lost boys - as they are currently living in arcadia to complete their first record, L3 M30W, with the help of joey - presented kathleen with a homemade booklet of coupons, complete with certificates for things like, 'a free night of peace and quiet,' as well as, 'three free trips to the grocery store for baby goods,' and, 'one free night of babysitting - so you can go out and get lit.' how thoughtful of them.

the best part of the story transpired when sodapop's turn to fork over a gift came around - quickly placing hands in pockets, soda began nervously whistling and couldn't help his eyes from darting around the room; then, in a huff, he grabbed his effects and motored out of the l'amour like the joint was going up in flames or something. he later told flashers - and i'm not even kidding here - that he completely spaced it being his sister's birthday. like i've said before, uncle sodapop is going to blow it with kathleen and joey's kid - the kisses should just invalidate his uncle rights to babysitting if they have any brains to speak of at all.

speaking of no brains, reporters focused the attention off of her elegance and noted that, 'like a typical pregnant woman,' she not only hogged down everything on her plate, but poached off of joey's as well! um, who gives a shit? shouldn't we all be tickled pink that baby babble is even eating as it is?

in closing, i've never seen kathleen behave so well at a bar before........