looking as beautiful as ever, kathleen was a glowing picture of class and ladylike presence at the l'amour bar and restaurant tonight as she celebrated her birthday with close confidants. after blowing out candles on the rainbow birthday cake that she specially requested, the doll opened presents with a select group of mates - including fiancé joey kiss, ludo ludovic, the lost boys and brother sodapop cola.
kathleen must be the hardest person to shop for in the history of birthdays - or people must just ordinarily get her drugs as gifts - because all of her presents this year straight sucked the big one. joey kiss set the bar by giving his paramour a leather jacket and pair of motorcycle boots - which she can't even use because she's knocked up and shouldn't be riding motorcycles anyways - as well as a trilby full of eskimo kisses. he also paid for a small surprise fireworks show to take place after the dinner, which went off without any hang-ups.
ludo ludovic sleeps in a tiny shack on the edge of the kiss cradle property and laps rainwater from the birdbath to quench his thirst, so you know that he has no money. being that he couldn't afford much, ludo ended up buying the million dollar brat a cheap bouquet of pink roses and a box of candies; but brought it back home when kathleen opened his third gift - which was trotsky's hand watch. i'll bet baby babble was a happy camper - it's almost as if trotsky got up out of the graveyard and gave it to her himself. the lost boys - as they are currently living in arcadia to complete their first record, L3 M30W, with the help of joey - presented kathleen with a homemade booklet of coupons, complete with certificates for things like, 'a free night of peace and quiet,' as well as, 'three free trips to the grocery store for baby goods,' and, 'one free night of babysitting - so you can go out and get lit.' how thoughtful of them.
the best part of the story transpired when sodapop's turn to fork over a gift came around - quickly placing hands in pockets, soda began nervously whistling and couldn't help his eyes from darting around the room; then, in a huff, he grabbed his effects and motored out of the l'amour like the joint was going up in flames or something. he later told flashers - and i'm not even kidding here - that he completely spaced it being his sister's birthday. like i've said before, uncle sodapop is going to blow it with kathleen and joey's kid - the kisses should just invalidate his uncle rights to babysitting if they have any brains to speak of at all.
speaking of no brains, reporters focused the attention off of her elegance and noted that, 'like a typical pregnant woman,' she not only hogged down everything on her plate, but poached off of joey's as well! um, who gives a shit? shouldn't we all be tickled pink that baby babble is even eating as it is?
in closing, i've never seen kathleen behave so well at a bar before........