scary beau badman scares baby babble

the dead come always come back for one last dance on halloween

everybody knows that beau is crazier is than your average bear - last night, outside of the pretty people club headquarters, he was arrested for making malicious threats and for assaulting joey. gulp.

the official story goes like this : kathleen drove to the pretty people HQ for some late, impromptu writing and had been working for about an hour, when she noticed a suspicious person on the security cameras.

she went to go check it out and by the time she got to the front door, she realized it was none other than low life beau badman! she told him to scram, lying that joey was inside, but beau was not fazed.

this wasn't the doll's first time at the crazy parade, though, so she immediately called joey that the creep of all creeps was outside and that he needed to handle the situation.

joey rolled up on his skateboard 10 minutes later and after beau tried to give him the ol' 1-2, joey picked up his skateboard and hit him over the head.

in beau's defense, he later said he was there to congratulate the doll on her baby news. oh yeah, i'll bet - sneaking around in the middle of the night? and you know how arcadian police are - they didn't even need a statement from the doll, they arrested beau lickety split.

jimmy kiss - "gossipy bitch"

this is news that we all saw coming, but in the doll's defense - whatever it is, she didn't do it!

sometimes i forget that joey is related to wet mop jimmy, and i'm sure the doll tries to forget every day of her life. we all made mistakes back in high school, but jimmy kiss had to have been the worst.

always greasy, always a punk and generally in a trilby hat - jimmy kiss was the first person to charm baby babble's heart. who knows if it was the coke, the booze or the stars in her eyes, but for years, she and jimmy were in love.

for years he photographed their life together and kathleen wrote about it. naturally, he would have plenty of candid shots and today, he told papers he is thisclose to bringing some of them into the police. jimmy told reporters that he has footage of the doll exchanging money stolen from hep parade to pay for drugs. he needs to check his facts because the beautiful one doesn't pay for drugs - she gets them for free.

where is this coming from, jimmy? one day you are talking about locking lips with her when you were in junior high and the next you are digging a ditch for her good name!

the wet mop strikes again!

spills about being first kiss

jimmy kiss will never stop being jimmy kiss, which means we all need to expect him to open his big, fat mouth every now and again. today was no exception to this rule, as he regaled the flashers with all of his best, unused back catalog memories of him and the doll. let's take a trip down memory lane...even back in the day, when the doll still had bows and ribbons in her hair, stars in her eyes and a backpack on her shoulders, she was messing with kiss! jimmy pretty much swore on the torah in front of the flashers that the two go back to their teen years, to when baby babble was 13 and he was 15. ZOMG bb! 13??! so young. such innocence lost. back before jimmy was greasy and his wardrobe exclusively consisted of ripped denim jeans and leather jackets; before the beautiful one had her itsy bitsy babydoll dresses, her foilie-smoke stained ballet slippers and a nasty denim jacket to match...to a more simpler time, when jimmy kiss and kathleen grace were in high school in arcadia. jimmy told the flashers that during this time, the doll was very much a "little girl" and not the "bitch" she is now. um, okay...

he also went on to say that before him, she had never had a boyfriend or even kissed a guy! he soon put an end to that, and even had the dusty pictures to prove it! jimmy told it as the kiss took place somewhere near the end of the school year and that he, the doll and a group of friends were together at a house show, when kathleen decided it would be the perfect time to snap a photo. she pulled a camera out of her purse and this is when jimmy uttered the soon to be famous phrase, "this would be a better photo," and proceeded to then lock lips with the unsuspecting doll. jimmy claimed that from then on, the two were inseparable and that she would even sneak him through her window at night while mama doll was in the next room asleep! bold - i applaud her for being that girl, even in junior high.

jimmy painted a typical night like this : the two of them, rolling around underneath the covers, while soft, 90s alternative rock plays. candles and incense are lit and it smells like doobies. posters of riot grrrl bands hang on the walls and her homework in on her vanity, next to her makeup. sounds like some junior high shit. yawn.

the underworld, and worldwide, and the wide world of underground still remember freak fest

it was one year ago today that the doll waltzed out on a monticello stage with nothing but an american flag draped over her body...thus, inciting thousands to riot in the middle of nowhere. LOL, i know it sounds like a blast right now, but at the time the doll was in some hot, hot, boiling hot water! R.I.P. to all the sweet concert tees lost in the bonfires created by rioting fans; a shouts out to all the naked girls and all the horny guys; and lastly, a big ups to the doll. because with her, we would never have had a reason to drain our bank accounts and travel all the way out to bumfuck monticello for a gathering of freaks. oh, and i completely forgot to mention all the drugs. and not just the one in the doll's system.