doll goes back to the future

reactivates pager from 1998

instead of her usual three cell phones - one for business, one for international interviews and one personal - that would be floating around the doll's person, she has traded them for a purple glitter pager. her reason? she said that technology was "pissing her off." sounds more like pregnancy hormones.

instead of a laptop, kathleen has always handwritten her work and paid someone to transfer over to a computer. a typewriter is probably even too advanced for her and would appear like a robot toy from another planet.

sodapop says that his sister warns everyone to be wary of technology and constantly alludes to fahrenheit 451. he says that people find this very annoying and some have refused to do business with her because she is "hard to reach".

well now, thanks to the addition of that purple pager, she will be even more difficult to get in touch with.

she's in the building and she's feelin' herself

hans von holzy paints sexy pic of doll, gives her mix tape

argosy may be the star of shady lake, but the beautiful one was definitely the star of the show on the set today! it's not even her birthday yet and southern gent hans von holzy haus presented her with a giant canvas of a hand painted, nude doll and a weird, 90s cassette mix tape that he probably found in a box in his parents' attic somewhere. nothing says "i want your bod" like a mix tape does!

now i am 100% sure that all of those magic crystals are increasing the doll's witch powers and holzy haus is just under the influence of a magic love spell. if not magic spell, maybe magic mushroom? poor hans never saw it coming! but you know baby babble did, because she has a crystal ball that can see the future LOL.

doll fills house and office with magic crystals

makes 1999 lisbon home a crystal castle

she says that they cure her pregnancy aches and pains, but i personally think she is full of baloney! i think they are really used to stir up a magic love spell, aimed directly at hans von holzy haus!

kathleen told the papers today that she has commissioned gem-experts and shamans to fill her home with spiritual objets d'art to help promote divine well-being and a healthy pregnancy. yeah, yeah, yeah - blah, blah, blah.

let's cut to the chase! all of this was just a reason to get hans von holzy involved, because his shaman is her shaman. their shamans know each other. so, naturally, it wasn't long before the two were meditating together, chanting mickey mouse gibberish and weaving dreamcatchers, etc.

she is probably thisclose to naming her child moonbeam zuzana lotusblossom - trust.

the wet mop strikes again!

spills about being first kiss

jimmy kiss will never stop being jimmy kiss, which means we all need to expect him to open his big, fat mouth every now and again. today was no exception to this rule, as he regaled the flashers with all of his best, unused back catalog memories of him and the doll. let's take a trip down memory lane...even back in the day, when the doll still had bows and ribbons in her hair, stars in her eyes and a backpack on her shoulders, she was messing with kiss! jimmy pretty much swore on the torah in front of the flashers that the two go back to their teen years, to when baby babble was 13 and he was 15. ZOMG bb! 13??! so young. such innocence lost. back before jimmy was greasy and his wardrobe exclusively consisted of ripped denim jeans and leather jackets; before the beautiful one had her itsy bitsy babydoll dresses, her foilie-smoke stained ballet slippers and a nasty denim jacket to match...to a more simpler time, when jimmy kiss and kathleen grace were in high school in arcadia. jimmy told the flashers that during this time, the doll was very much a "little girl" and not the "bitch" she is now. um, okay...

he also went on to say that before him, she had never had a boyfriend or even kissed a guy! he soon put an end to that, and even had the dusty pictures to prove it! jimmy told it as the kiss took place somewhere near the end of the school year and that he, the doll and a group of friends were together at a house show, when kathleen decided it would be the perfect time to snap a photo. she pulled a camera out of her purse and this is when jimmy uttered the soon to be famous phrase, "this would be a better photo," and proceeded to then lock lips with the unsuspecting doll. jimmy claimed that from then on, the two were inseparable and that she would even sneak him through her window at night while mama doll was in the next room asleep! bold - i applaud her for being that girl, even in junior high.

jimmy painted a typical night like this : the two of them, rolling around underneath the covers, while soft, 90s alternative rock plays. candles and incense are lit and it smells like doobies. posters of riot grrrl bands hang on the walls and her homework in on her vanity, next to her makeup. sounds like some junior high shit. yawn.