is the doll pregnant with jimmy's baby?

yes, you hear me right - jimmy, not fiancé joey, could be the father?! say it ain't so!

rumors are flying around arcadia, cielo, grimaldi and monticello that several months ago, jimmy and kat were spotted together and like it was 2009 all over again; and now she's pregnant! honestly, i could see it - kat has always made a spot in her black heart for jimmy kiss, and those two get on like a house on fire...

regardless, i think joey is destined to have his heart broken by the one and only doll. the sooner he realizes, the better.

it's just funny, because i would have thought von holzy was the baby daddy! with how close those two are becoming, it's only a matter of time before pictures of them kissing in a hidden arcadian glade pop up.

long story short, the doll is a shameless flirt and will never change. if you're a guy, steer clear and if you're a woman, lock up your brothers, husbands and/or sons!

happy thanksgiving!

years before, the doll would have been thankful for cocaine, punk rock music, ballet slippers and fake eyelashes; but now she is mostly thankful for joey, her baby, headlock and her nightly fantasies of hans von holzhausen.
ok, maybe i don't know if the last one is true, but i feel like it is. she even invited him to the same thanksgiving mama doll and mama kiss were at! you know that joey had his arms crossed, glaring at him the entire time and probably refused to take a bite of the dish hans brought. so predictable!
and even though everyone was expecting the doll to push her plate away after three bites, she didn't - she actually ate! only, she craves the strangest foods now.
instead of traditional turkey and sides, the beautiful one opted for cold matzo ball soup and gefilte fish on toast, marshmallow fluff sandwiches, cottage cheese and leftover chinese food. and yes, the correct reaction is to be disgusted. but hey, at least she's eating!

she's in the building and she's feelin' herself

hans von holzy paints sexy pic of doll, gives her mix tape

argosy may be the star of shady lake, but the beautiful one was definitely the star of the show on the set today! it's not even her birthday yet and southern gent hans von holzy haus presented her with a giant canvas of a hand painted, nude doll and a weird, 90s cassette mix tape that he probably found in a box in his parents' attic somewhere. nothing says "i want your bod" like a mix tape does!

now i am 100% sure that all of those magic crystals are increasing the doll's witch powers and holzy haus is just under the influence of a magic love spell. if not magic spell, maybe magic mushroom? poor hans never saw it coming! but you know baby babble did, because she has a crystal ball that can see the future LOL.

doll fills house and office with magic crystals

makes 1999 lisbon home a crystal castle

she says that they cure her pregnancy aches and pains, but i personally think she is full of baloney! i think they are really used to stir up a magic love spell, aimed directly at hans von holzy haus!

kathleen told the papers today that she has commissioned gem-experts and shamans to fill her home with spiritual objets d'art to help promote divine well-being and a healthy pregnancy. yeah, yeah, yeah - blah, blah, blah.

let's cut to the chase! all of this was just a reason to get hans von holzy involved, because his shaman is her shaman. their shamans know each other. so, naturally, it wasn't long before the two were meditating together, chanting mickey mouse gibberish and weaving dreamcatchers, etc.

she is probably thisclose to naming her child moonbeam zuzana lotusblossom - trust.

kathleen falls fast asleep during important conference call

back in the day, the doll would have waltzed into an important meeting with white powder falling out of her nose, no bra on and she would have thought it was tuesday when it was really friday. but these days she has really been on point, which is why have no theory as to why she passed out today during a phone call with all the movers and shakers of shady lake.

tired from being pregnant?

it's a shame she didn't know hans von holzhausen was on the other end! i'm sure she would have found it within herself to stay awake.

the call wasn't really super important, though, it was to talk about filming locations, schedules and the million dollar brat's notorious rider. no wonder! sounds like a snoozefest. zzzzzzzzz

doll has a crush

shady lake will begin filming after the holidays. argosy burns, daughter of hep parade magazine boss, will be the lead and the newcomer, southern gentleman hans von holzhausen has been named director. johnny kiss was named producer ages ago, and it's probably just because the doll has a crush on him too!

and ever since he was named director, kathleen has been spending an awful lot of time on the movie set. no, i don't think it's because she wants a producer's credit - she has a crush on cutie pie holzhausen!

and no, this isn't just a hunch, sodapop cola told reporters that his sister goes gaga for hans and gets all giddy at the mere mention of long ass WWII name!

while on set, the beautiful one takes it upon herself to get his coffee every morning and conveniently leaves out everyone else. one day she even forgot baby daddy joey! LOL, go figure!

speaking of joey, he is reportedly super jealous and makes it a point to 'drop by' the set alllll the time. probably checking to see if the doll is staying faithful which i am almost 100% sure she isn't. come on joey! this isn't her first ride on the cheating merry-go-round! she at least knows to get a telly.