i hope your tats don't run!

love tats for kat and joey

both kisses cemented their love for each other today with a sentimental tattoo of a simple heart with an arrow going through it. kathleen chose hers to be in purple and joey opted for turquoise. in other doll news, the two want to spend the summer on the isle of grimaldi, and are trying to get back ASAP. that is, after joey gets arrested again! just kidding, he's staying there for the vitamin D. hopefully it'll cure him from trying to off himself. kathleen is attached to his hip like always, smoking foilies out of seashells and communicating in a language only mermaids understand.

you can STFU anytime, sodapop!

loose lips sink ships

kathleen's pinch-hitter publicist, brother and all around loudmouth sodapop cola has really outdone himself this time. in between his ultra demanding and high-paced schedule of taking wingnut on walks around the neighborhood and snooping in the doll's diary for possible press material, soda has signed a deal for a tell-all book about his sister. i only have three things to say about this:

1.) soda loves to blab about everyone's personal life, so this really comes as no surprise.....what surprises me is that it's not a how-to manual on diming your famous siblings out for a living!

2.) you'd have to be a class A moron to write a tell-all about the one person who puts a roof over your head 

3.) you know that there's a totally a ghostwrite for his book......and his name is jimmy kiss

after sodapop finished dishing to reporters about his deal, he then switched gears to joey kiss' trouble with the law. he told the fence that if the kisses ever return from grimaldi, joey faces several court dates and a possible stint in the big house. then again, you know how the arcadian judicial system works when it comes to matters involving the doll - joey will be out in minutes for good behavior. in other doll news, it's good to have her back in the public eye, because i missed her scrawny ass. seriously. santa claus answered my prayers early this year with "green for the money; gold for the honey." it also gave us an introduction to baby babble's chef, shuggie bo bellski. shuggie pretty much sounds like a funky pimp from harlem in the 1970s, so he must be the perfect fit to the doll's team. besides, anyone who can get along with the bitch of all bitches - headlock - is immediately hired on, so shuggie didn't really have a choice as it is.

joey kiss' LP slams into record shops like pure china white

L3 M30W puts the lost boys on the map

i'm beginning to think more and more everyday that jimmy was adopted by the kiss family and is, in fact, the son of satan - but joey made me sure of it this week when his work with the lost boys, L3 M30W hit #1 on the arcadian music charts and hasn't left the top spot since! he may be as high off of heroin as his older brother, it doesn't matter - the album has been predicted to go double platinum just in the first week.

then again, the release wasn't exactly a piece of the doll's leftover birthday cake - feathers have been ruffled due to one track, entitled, "hannah humps like a bunny." the lost boys are swearing on a stack of bibles that their hearts were in the right place and joey stated, "let me say this once so we don't have to keep doing this dance - we love women."

en masse, the lost boys and joey kiss' L3 M30W is making boatloads of cash and has most of the moguls in the industry planning a trainhopping adventure for the summertime and have them out buying matching bandannas. even top suit, sammy 'third degree' burns, noted that, "green, hep underground artists are quickly becoming a practical commodity," because they make the most money and stated that the boys' LP proves just thus.

in other doll news, kathleen was at the album launch to support her fiancé - though honestly she looked as if she would rather be cleaning out the high school football team's locker room. most of the fans on the scene were groupies, so you know the beautiful one was super duper thrilled to be there. at one point, it seemed like the million dollar brat was seconds away from inciting puppy wingnut to sic a pack of sluts. "it was so gross," the doll hissed to flashers outside, making a golden defense for herself, "most of the girls were only there to get rocko j. nasty's autograph across their tits; so, yes, for the love of pete, i'm ready to go home." LOL, i'll bet she was.

doll does beach

the young couple sees sun, fun and guns on their vacation in grimaldi - soon after news that the two were arriving on the isle yesterday, the local airport was swarmed with fans and police were soon called in as a security measure. the kisses were actually held by grimaldi on the plane until the scene could be calmed down - it took thirty minutes, two smoke bombs and several scary guards with looks on their faces that made it crystal clear they meant business. the guards, toting rifles, ushered the pregnant beautiful one and her fiancé off of the plane, into the airport and then out a side entrance to a waiting town car.

after gracing grimaldi's prom yesterday, the two have taken to holing up in a private island cabin, the two - plus one ludo ludovic and wingnut - plan to spend the weekend relaxing peacefully and going over arrangements for the shotgun wedding of the century. though, don't expect to see kathleen purchasing a permanent property on the isle anytime soon; wild honeypie thinks the party city is about as fun as one of the lost boy's motorcycle boots to the head. she bitched, "the only thing to do out here is get into trouble and i can do that at home." she also added, "the people of grimaldi are a nightmare too - if i wanted to be treated like shit, i would have stayed with beau goodman." LOL! she's not fooling, either.