shady lake is finally out in theatres

 
 

doll goes to premiere in grimaldi with her the star of shady lake, bijoux boadicea; and her always stylish mate, angel astazia - but because she's now the drummer of kathleen's new band, the prom queens - you can call her "staz". 

our girl did the red carpet in classic form : champagne bottle in hand, the handful of pills she downed in the gravedigger right before her grand entrance; and ashing her cigarette on other movie stars. and by the time her majesty made it through the bevy of media, it was time for the main event : the movie we've all been waiting on. i feel like i have been waiting my whole life for the production of this goddamn pigfuck to get the show on the road. so, i don't even care about reviews, ratings or how much cashola the film is pulling in.....all the fans (myself included) truly care about is the flick!!! 

everyone who is anyone was at the premiere, eating popcorn and trying not to pee their panties when scene by scene, teen by teen was slashed down. at the end, our baby babble gave a lengthy speech  - seriously...someone pulled up the "wrap it up" tune from award shows - thanking the crowd and ushers brought in champagne. now, the old kathleen grace was more partial to whiskey-guzzling, pill-snorting, and ballet-slippers. thus, it is good to see she grew up and that she's still "got it" if you know what i mean. she's not going to end up a bag lady, on the streets, talking to herself about photoshoots, television appearances and muttering, "jimmy kiss, johnny kiss, joey kiss," over and over again. 

with that preface, please go shell out your hard-earned coins that you have stacked for this moment, smuggle in some candy and go to your nearest movie theatre to see what all the fuss was about. 

doll to release "let's go git raped"

 
 

*gulps*

say hello to the prom queens : an all girl band, straight from the doll's collection of hangers-on over the years...
there is kathleen on lead vocals and guitar - is there any other way? - angel astazia on drums, some hippy brunette on bass and a grungy freckly girl on backup guitar and secondary vocals. angel previously helped our girl with her "wake up or we break up", which saw immediate success online, in stores and overseas. released through the independent hep parade studios, kathleen was approached soon thereafter by several major labels to record an album. her answer was obviously, "yasssss! duh! shut up and give me all your money!" 

so, today, outside of the pretty people club offices in grimaldi, she told reporters more about the formation of the prom queens and that they'll soon be recording their first single : "let's go git raped." 
......let it sink in. it's very ambitious. let's just leave it at that.
but kathleen didn't leave it at that! the next thing out of her mouth was - and this is a direct quote from joey kiss when the lost boys were dealing with the "touch me, i'm prick" backlash - "it's such an anti - let me say that again - anti-rape song, that i'm not even going to go into it. i'm just tired of people dissecting me; my art, my writing. and i'll be damned if they do it to my music." aw. so punk. sid vicious, joe strummer and joey ramone are all taking shots in her honor tonight in rock 'n' roll heaven.
i'm totes expecting the prom queens' first album to top the charts, even though she truly has no musical experience or can even carry a tune, from the general word around the campfire these days. her talent is to be discussed at another time...
also her PR team must be doing boatloads of xanax...

the doll's band to record first album

 
 

i know what you're thinking : the doll has a band? and the answer is yes, she does; and don't laugh, because she's probably going to strike punk rock gold.

resurrecting the riot grrrl era that kathleen - and most of her fanbase and target market - grew up in, our doll has recently taken a foray into the music industry; and with a beau like joey kiss, who can blame her? he has seen plenty of success with the indie-turned-label lost boys and those £20 baggies of heroin aren't buying themselves!! JK. 

this has all been industry buzz for months, but became official today when kathleen announced through an article in the pretty people club that she and her newly formed band, the prom queens, will begin recording at the end of the year for their first album. she was very clear that it will be all girls, no boys allowed and no, not even if they know the "secret password." and obviously the secret password is : doll, i'm holding...

she explained that the three other girls joining her will be from arcadia, cielo and grimaldi, respectively. kathleen also mentioned that she will be taking lead guitar and lead vocals (and lead drums, bass, keyboard, tambourine, french horn section...) and lest they have a death wish, shall no one try to upstage her!

all i'm thinking is : when did this bitch start taking guitar lessons? because i saw her at the freak fest and her shit wasn't even plugged in!
it was like the band just wanted her to feel special, so they handed her an acoustic guitar in front of half a million people. LOL. maybe that's all she needed to get the inspiration to record an album. maybe having joey kiss back in her pocket does too. who knows?! it's the doll! i can barely figure out my own thoughts, let alone what's going on in mind! 

the doll wants to boogie with you!

 
 

kathleen has been a writer for as long as we all can remember; a riot grrrl, a mother, a singer, a hotelier...and now you can add activist and philanthrapist to the list! our girl is currently calling for everyone and their gay power bottom brother or boysbian chapstick lesbian sister to buy a ticket to her masquerade ball that she is holding in benefit of her hometown arcadian LGBT chapter.  

the ball will be held on halloween - of course, every gay's favorite holiday because it involves both drinking and costumes! - in the riot house gardens and ballroom - duh - and tickets are rumored to begin at a whopping $5,000 per person. and no, this is not a drill and your eyes do not deceive thee....the price to get in the door truly is as steep as four of my paychecks...i mean, for real doll? you know above average fans like myself can barely afford to feed ourselves sometimes! no way, josé! i cannot afford your upper-echelon shit and am not willing to empty my life savings, just saying...

however, many are tripping over themselves to do just that and the word around the campfire is that there's only 100 tickets left. c'mon, people! this is for the gays! write that check for fire island and cher and sequins! let your inner diva guide you....

anyways, i don't care about whatever the doll has planned for her big gay ball - all i care about is THE OUTFITSSSSS!!! THE LOOKSSSS!!! THE WARDROBE, DAAARLING!! i am going to be living for whatever the hell she wears on that rainbow carpet! also expecting lots of drag realness and dusty older uppity old ass queens flaunting their vintage, studio 54 gay chic halston action. 

see you on october 31! if i win the lottery, i'll be at the doll's table, in a concept look, queening out...

the hep parade true isle of grimaldi story

 
 

"You can't talk about the Doll without talking about Arcadia. She has so much history there. Those are her stomping grounds. She will always come back home to Arcadia..."
coverage on Kathleen "the Doll" Grace's move to the Isle of Grimaldi, as in the Dailies

"I remember, when she was about 15, she used to Xerox copies of her work and hide them all over town : grocery stores, the post office, the library; I even found one of her pieces in the bathroom at a local Planned Parenthood. I had the biggest crush on her. She was well punk."
Joey Kiss, artist, member of the Lost Boys punk band, brother to Jimmy Kiss; boyfriend and father to Kathleen's child, Quetzy Lux

"It's good that she found Joey. He seems to me to know how to make her happiest."
Jimmy Kiss, photographer; ex-boyfriend

"She would always bitch and moan that no man could handle her mouth and they couldn't handle her thoughts. She was too cool for all of them. She was too sexy, too much of a conquest - no one could believe what would come out when she would speak."
Sodapop Cola, Kathleen's brother

"Growing up, I felt like a reawakened Hester Prynne. I was always so bad; badder than the rest of the girls, and even some of the boys!"
Kathleen, the Doll

"Every boyfriend she ever had tripped over himself to get to her. She could care less. She's kind of a head-in-the-clouds type...on her own planet, I guess."
Sodapop Cola, brother

"She told me that since she hit puberty, she's never had a guy that wanted to be her buddy, her pal. They always wanted something from her. Not her love - just her potential."
Ludo Ludovic, caretaker

"I got arrested on the first date I ever took her on, so.....I don't think that counts."
Joey Kiss

"I couldn't believe this girl wanted me. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I thought I'd die before letting her go."
Jimmy Kiss

"When I asked her to marry me, I took her to Monticello, where she grew up as a child, deep into the woods. I took her to a small plot that I purchased, with an advance from the record company. I told her that if she married me, someday I would build her a house here to recede in repose in her old age; and that I too would be there, with a hound dog, and a shotgun, on the front porch, by her side. The only thing she asked me was if we could have a baby. I told her, 'I don't even have to think twice about it,' and she took one look at this mug, thought about how beautiful our snotgobblers were gonna be and told me to put that ring on her finger."
Joey Kiss

"Joey's the only one who has seen me without fake eyelashes on and hasn't ran for the hills...so, I guess that's real love, right?"
Kathleen, the Doll

"All I know is - my little brother called me up and was screaming, 'She said yes! She said yes!' And I knew I'd lost her for good."
Jimmy Kiss

"What people don't know is : when Joey and I were 15 years old, we made a pact to be married. We signed it in Nag Champa incense, French kisses and clove cigarettes."
Kathleen, the Doll

"I might have known it, and I would come to break her heart...I killed the bird that made the breeze to blow."
Joey Kiss

"And I had done a hellish thing, 
And it would work 'em woe: 
For all averred, I had killed the bird
That made the breeze to blow. 
Ah wretch! said they, the bird to slay, 
That made the breeze to blow! 

...

Down dropt the breeze, the sails dropt down, 
'Twas sad as sad could be; 
And we did speak only to break
The silence of the sea! 

All in a hot and copper sky, 
The bloody Sun, at noon, 
Right up above the mast did stand, 
No bigger than the Moon. 

Day after day, day after day, 
We stuck, nor breath nor motion; 
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean. 

Water, water, every where, 
And all the boards did shrink; 
Water, water, every where, 
Nor any drop to drink."

Samuel Coleridge Taylor, the Rime of the Ancient Mariner


"It was no fun, no fun at all being all alone and lonely. I was as sad as sad could be. Wait...I think that's already been said..."
Kathleen, the Doll

"Joey has an affinity to self-sabotage. He's a mad genius; he always has been. When he told me he dumped her...I just couldn't believe it. She loved him with her whole heart and he smashed it to smithereens."
Jimmy Kiss

"So, to get her back, he wrote her a love song. She had always asked him to write one, but he didn't think he had it in him. He's a punk, he feels he has to stay punk, you know? Gotta think of the spirit of Darby Crash and all that."
Jimmy Kiss

"He came over, played me a tune on his guitar and that was that; it was a wrap. You might as well call me Kathleen Grace Kiss."
Kathleen, the Doll

"I never thought that the girl I met as a teenager would eventually be the mother of my beautiful daughter. My beautiful daughter with the acid trip phone book name."
Joey Kiss, father of Quetzalith Lux Buuski Honeyblossum Grace-Kiss

"And we thought she would be blessed with 1,000 sons; but Quetzalith would be her mother's daughter."
Johnny Headlock, manager and wrangler

"Her name is very deep and very meaningful and if you want to know, you can lurk harder."
Kathleen Grace, the Doll, mother of 'Quetzy' Lux

"I nicknamed her Joey Jr.; because when she was born, we flipped a coin on who got to name her and needless to say, I lost the coin toss."
Joey Kiss

"As her godmother, I have seen my share of Doll antics. I personally would put up more shit from that Kathleen than anyone else. I don't know how Joey does it some days."
Angel Astazia, member of the Doll-founded band, the Prom Queens

"He was always in love with her. From the moment she crossed his path. You know, I should have known - when we were kids, we watched Peter Pan, every day, over and over again. And he would only smile when Tinkerbell was on the screen. I didn't think about it 'till I was older, but he's a total dope for blondes. I just didn't know he'd be a dope for my blonde."
Jimmy Kiss, Joey Kiss' older brother

"Where she ends, he begins. They are very much soul mates and they are very much in love."
Ludo Ludovic, caretaker and longtime friend of the Doll

"He plays his guitar too loud and wakes the baby; he wears his boots in the house and snores like a grizzly bear, but that's my Joey." Kathleen, the Doll"She really can do no wrong in my book."
Joey Kiss

"He has a book? That's my thing!"
Kathleen, the Doll

"She had her baby and faded totally from the parties, the gigs and the shows. And it's okay. We know she's home breastfeeding and changing diapers and shaking the rattle."
Freddy the Freeloader, original Lost Boy

"Quetzy has tamed her. Not Jimmy; not Joey."
Headlock, manager and wrangler

"She's really a simple creature - she likes to write, drink, eat, shit and bone. She's always home. She's uncool."
Jimmy Kiss, ex-boyfriend

"I like living with her because she always has a car for me to borrow."
Sodapop Cola

"Sodapop used up all the daytime minutes, eats all of my candy and hogs the remote, but he's family."
Kathleen, the Doll

"Sodapop gets a bad rep in the press, but he's not all that bad. He just loves to gossip. And getting his picture taken. And seeing his name in the papers. He's famous for free."
Jimmy Kiss

"He sure has loose lips, but that's my old lady's brother. I can't really shut him up, but I can punch him in the schnoz if he steps out of line."
Joey Kiss

"Sometimes I can't believe those two are related. Miss I-Work-In-My-Sleep and her brother, Mr. I-Ain't-Got-A-Job - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in that family, let me tell you."
Headlock, manager and wrangler

"She's a machine : Kathleen has taken over the world of magazines, books, fashion, film, television, radio and now she is honing her musical grip on the industry, as she has in so many others. 'Wake Up or We Break Up' is just the beginning, I'm telling you..."
Sodapop Cola

"She asked for a guitar for her birthday and I knew it was all downhill from there."
Joey Kiss

"I recorded 'Wake Up or We Break Up' with no help; no vocal coaching and no guitar lessons, thank you very much."
the Doll

"She wasn't really good at first - oh, who am I kidding? She still isn't very good by any rock 'n' roll standards, but she sure looks pretty as hell holding that guitar."
Jimmy Kiss, ex-boyfriend

"Can I play? No. Can I wail? Yes."
Kathleen Grace, the Doll

"She found three of the scariest girls in Arcadia, Cielo and Grimaldi and formed the Prom Queens. These girls are the stuff of nightmares - mothers should lock up their sons!"
Angel Astazia

"Her voice sounds like she chainsmoked a pack of Lucky Strikes and guzzled Jack Daniels before stepping behind the microphone, but I'm just sure angels join in when she sings."
Loyal, Lost Boy

"I think people like to watch her wiggle across the stage and writhe on the ground with her guitar. I think she has a throaty, sexy voice full of passion and grit; and it makes my pants tight. That's just my two cents on the esoteric doctrine she preaches and the popularity in her band."
Jimmy Kiss

“She came into my office and asked if she could have a record deal. I didn't know if she was lit or joking or what. I don't even think she's had proper guitar lessons. But I'm no fool - I signed her on the spot."
Sammy "Third Degree" Burns, owner of Hep Parade Magazine; co-owner of Arcadian and Cielan Riot Houses

"I don't know how to top myself - as an international fame monger and media whore; why, I'm so psycho, I'd do just about anything! Just challenge me!"
Kathleen Grace, the Doll

"She is the greatest archetype. She cannot be duplicated and is ever-changing. There has never been anyone like her before and there will not be another hence..."
coverage of her labor and birth of Quetzy, as reported in the Dailies"

I am not your conquest; I am not your piece of meat. I am not your God; I am me."
Kathleen, the Doll

doll attends music awards show in cielo

 
 

joey confesses he's always been in love with her during speech

all the beautiful stars gathered tonight in cielo and the doll, naturally, was in attendance. her single "wake up or we break up" was nominated for several awards, including best new single, best music video, best female artist, etc. and of course she took a boatload of awards home! it's our girl, duh! 

but everyone already knew she would sweep the competition, so here's the juicy details on the show : kathleen arrived solo on the red carpet, late, and missed securing her first award; she was also missing from the front row for the first hour. seated in her section was caretaker ludo ludovic, wrangler headlock and an empty seat next to hers. everyone was obvi wondering who she would bring as her +1 and we were all left on the edge for the big reveal.

it came when none other than baby daddy joey kiss took the stage - looking quite dashing in a fitted tux and fresh greased back 'do - to deliver the final award of the night, dedicated to the doll herself, for best new female artist. what she really should have won was the award for best outfit of her entire life because she was giving us ball gown debutante eleganza realness and looked 10/10. she deserved a standing ovation just for her look and i'm dead serious. 

in his speech, joey began by how kathleen started as an artist and how she has remained true to her roots. he said, "she will always be the fanzine riot grrrl..." and went on to say how he constantly confides in her for artistic input on his own work. go figure. 

he wrapped it up by saying he has been "in love" with her since his early 20s, much to no one's surprise. then, as kathleen graced the stage in a frigging 90s-style prom-y ballgown to accept her award, the two embraced for a quick kiss on the lips and then she snatched the mic for her acceptance speech. i'm glad she took the microphone from him, because it truly felt moments away from a proposal. 

the two then sat down together for the rest of the show and acted like a junior high couple in a movie theatre on a saturday night. she wouldn't stop pawing him and he wouldn't stop kissing her neck and giving her hickeys. there should have been a camera just dedicated to their reindeer games. joey later changed from a tux into his typical uniform of skinny black jeans, leather jacket and a white tee for the after-party and the doll kept her gigantic prom dress on. the two literally looked straight out of an off, off, off broadway performance of grease and it was what i live for. they made an appearance at the riot house for a round of drinks and stayed long enough for kathleen to not only decorate the top shelf of the bar with one of her awards, but for her to give another speech as well. it was short and sweet and she said that she and joey had to depart to go check on quetzy, as uncle sodapop was the babysitter for the night, and we all know how that goes. 

all i can say is - fans and press alike are both remarking on how they've never seen our girl happier. go, girl - seek happy days through happy nights. or something like that. cue mic drop.

dear doll.....

 
 

come now, gather 'round, it's time yet again to read the doll's latest answers to the questions she constantly receives from fans...
one of my alltime favorite pieces of fanmail asked the doll : "are you just another average cielo airhead?" to which kathleen responded : "ABOVE AVERAGE." i'm dead. #coffin

Q: If you could appear on any popular television show, what would it be? A comedy? A drama? A reality series?
A: FORENSIC FILES or THE FIRST 48 or SNAPPED

Q: Why do people give a shit about you? You're some crazy, depressed, bleached-blonde piece of trash who constantly preaches about burning your bra and strapping on combat boots - what gives?
A: GRRRLS 2 THE FRONT
ALL BOYS BE COOL 4 ONCE IN UR LIVES

Q: This being an election year, who are you voting for?
A: do you know that more people do dope in this country than voted last time for president? THINK ABOUT IT.

Q: So...you're voting for dope?
A: THERE'S HOPE IN DOPE

Q: You've spoken about spearheading a "revolution" lately - can you give us any insight?
A: THE REVOLUTION MANIFEST : all women are invited - be it by birth, surgery or mentality - gays, transgenders, allies, etc. to join forces all over the world. firstly we will take over the media machine and slowly manipulate the straight masses via television, film, music, radio, publications, etc. so that when the time comes to ask those willing to step forward, there will be less of a struggle. our goal is to bring justice to all those who feel wronged, to liberate the opressed and to love the unloved. we will bring all of the fuckers, rapists, molestors and pigs of the world to their knees with our power and move forward to take over other solar systems.

Q: Is Joey going to be involved in this Revolution?
A: yes because someone has to babysit quetzy.
i mean joey jr.

Q: What do you love most about Joey Kiss?
A: i love his greasy hair, i love his leather jacket collection, i love his black skinny jeans and his leather boots; i love his sneer; i love his tattoos; i love the way he talks and laughs at my dumb jokes; i love the kid we made together; i love that he's like a studious, but alternative, tuff punk rock, rough and tumble type of guy. he's just my type of guy.

Q: How do you enjoy success as a multimillionaire writer, film producer and now singer?
A: I DON;T LMAO
I RLLY WISH I DIDN;T WAKE UP SOMEDAYS
SOMEDAYS R BETTER THAN OTHERS
BUT IT;S NICE
BETTER THAN UR LIFE
PRBLY
KILL ME

Q: What is your favorite book of all time?
A: please kill me.
also just 4 title.

Q: You are so fierce - a strong, single, independent woman and mother for many to look up to. How do you do it?
A: R U 4 REAL? i have a nanny, a driver, a caretaker, a security guard, a publicist for a brother and the father of my child is alive and well. a village is raising quetzy and you know it.

Q: Out of all the men you've been with - who was your favorite?
A: TOP 5 : jim beam
jack daniels
johnny red
johnny black
and jose cuervo
aka all my favorite men

Q: There's a longrunning rumour that you don't eat - what's your favorite food?
A: apples - because you can smoke weed out of them instead of eating them
putting the fun in functional since johnny appleseed

Q: But you do eat...right?
A: YEAH LOTS OF SHIT
AS A CELEBRITY LOL

Q: As a celebrity, what platform are you trying to represent to use your voice for change?
A: WHO SAID I HAVE 2 DO THAT
OR WANT TO
OR WILL

Q: Surely you know what you represent to the people - how do you plan to influence those who look up to you?
A: i would tell the youth of today : slack off. call in sick to work. smoke pot. drink booze. stop driving your car and get a skateboard. try peyote. you're going to die when you're like 70, so get it while you're young. smoke 'em while you got 'em. just don't be a fucker; be nice to those who deserve it and let the assholes of the world reap their sewn negativity. be cool.

Q: Has success changed you in any way?
A: absolutely not, i was born for this life

Q: You've been nominated for a music award in Cielo - are you surprised?
A: NO!!!!1! not even one iota!

Q: Who will be your +1?
A: UR MOM!

Q: How would you describe yourself?
A: blonde, writer, mother, avant garde artist...heartbreaker, blue-eyed, sometimes musician, arcadia high school's head cheerleader and homecoming queen

Q: As a writer, you surely have read plenty of books - which character from fiction do you identify most with?
A: HESTER PRYNNE

Q: I heard you only have two cameos in Shady Lake. Why?! We need more Doll!
A: I KNO UR TELLING ME BUT IF I;M ON SCREEN 2 LONG, I'LL BURN THRU AND COME GIT U

Q: You've been in the studio recently - what do you do to get in the zone?
A: i go in, drop a hit of acid, gargle some gin and tell everyone QUIET! THE ARTIST NEEDS QUIET
YOUR ARTIST IS ABOUT TO BLOW YOUR MIND
WITH HER GROWL DEEP DOWN

Q: I heard that you performed at the Riot House this summer, threw your guitar in the air - meaning to catch it - and it hit you in the face. Is that true?
A: heyyyy ohhhh heyyyy ohhhh now i'm still alive
KAT 1 / GUITAR 0

Q: Do you think you've lost your edge and that's why you're rumored to be branching to music?
A: ??????????? I AM OVER THE EDGE!!!!!!!!!
I AM THE EDGE...the edge of a few pills away from ending it all LMAO

Q: Was "I Want a Riot Grrrl, Not a Housewife" ever recorded?
A: no so here's part 1 of the remix : I;M HERE DOING DISHES
JUST RAN OUT OF SOAP
FUCK BEING A HOUSEWIFE
I'D RATHER GO DO DOPE

Q: Speaking of dope, did you really find needles in the diaper bag?
A: OH MY WORD HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN WITH THIS BULLSHIT

Q: Lots of fans say they witnessed Joey and the Lost Boys seemingly under the influence of heroin when they were on the road last...how do you feel about that?
A: WHO CARES
how do you feel about that?
did it bother you? huh? did it? did it bother you to hear your longtime friend, pal, buddy and boyfriend and father of your child was out on the road - vulnerable - with a pack of fucking junkies and the word around the campfire was that he was back on dope? how would you feel?
I;D FEEL PRETTY ROTTEN IF I WERE U
ASK ME HOW I KNO

Q: You should record with Joey! That way you can keep a better eye on him and make sure he doesn't get back into heroin. What do you think?
A: I THINK NO
my next move is to do a full-concept piece about the romance between adolf hitler and the polish marie walepska. joey's gonna play hitler and we're going dye his mustache with mascara. i'm going to play marie walepska. sodapop is going to be goebbles.

basically all i heard was : heroin, heroin, heroin, joey and more heroin. gulp.

💘 wrap party at the riot house!

 
BDAY BALLOONS.jpg
 

doll also used party as excuse to wrap relationship with gio giotto

she showed up to the venue in a shirt that read : so many men, so little time, which was basically a fuck you to gio and an announcement that she was, yet again, single. LOL. 

no one really cares, except her ex-boyfriend joey kiss, so in other doll news, she spent one half of her night hoovering over the bar and the other half hoovering over a dusty mirror, if you know what i mean! just kidding. but she was paying her respects to 2K12 : ballet slippers, ratty blonde hair, black drainpipes, snotty nose, eyes doing back-flips....you know the drill.

she had to be carried out by headlock - okay, ludo helped...he carried her purse - and was subsequently tossed into the backseat of the gravedigger, much to the dismay of the various photographers and journalists that had gathered around. there was also a throng of fans, hoping to get a last-minute autograph of their copies of 💘, assembled and, after seeing the state of inebriation on the doll's part, they all dissipated.

ludo commented to the people, "believe me, you don't want her to sign your book tonight...i don't believe she knows her own name..." ugh been there. she probably would have signed the books "JOEY SUCKSSSS" and her own spit. and you know what? i would probably pay good money for that. 

happy birthday baby!

 
 

international doll day

another year and the doll doesn't look a day over 22! i don't know if she's found the fountain of youth or if she's making a magic elixir for herself with the blood of local junior high students, some voodoo herbs and a unicorn hoove, but it doesn't matter to me! she's still killing it and i'm still proud to be her #1 fan. 

this year, though, there wasn't any lavish celebration - there were no edible diamonds on her cake, no tower of presents, no fireworks show - instead, a small party was held in her honor at the cielan riot house and less than 50 were in attendance. 

the big question on everyone's mind was : is homewrecker gianni giotto going to show up? and the answer was YASSSSSSSSSS!!! sodapop confirmed that while baby daddy joey kiss is away, the doll is at play....with gianni....

guests told reporters that gianni brought kathleen an eight-ball of love and a big bouqet of roses. she made no qualms about kissing him in front of the patrons and at one point, thanked him during her speech to guests in the vicinity. 

um......wut? she doesn't even know him! i mean, i get it doll, he's sexy and has a body that even a greek god would be jealous of, but that's not the point! she doesn't even know his middle name! she hasn't even dropped acid with him! how could she trust him? maybe she should pay a visit to the cielo county jail after all.....