lumberjack kiss and his future bride celebrate thanksgiving

at the arcadian riot house

kathleen and joey are busy planning their wedding, but never too busy for a party! instead of having a getty with their families or hosting a big dinner for friends, they opted to have a dinner for both at the riot house in arcadia.

the kisses have been holed up in monticello, putting the finishing touches on their latest real estate purchase : the cabin joey built for kathleen as an engagement gift. or engagement bribe, depending on which school of thought you subscribe to. 

"the log house", as it's been called by the locals for years, isn't really a cabin...it's more of a love project in the middle of nowhere, on a lake, located in a county where it's legal to shoot anybody on your front lawn, be it gas, liquid or solid. so, it's basically the end-all of doll homes and could possibly double as an off-the-grid hideout in case kathleen decides to go unibomber on everyone. it's totes probably, now that she's getting old and bitter. aka nearing 30.

a lot of word is going around, mostly saying the engagement and/or marriage will never work, considering joey and kathleen have been on and off since they got together! so, it makes sense that the shack's paint is just now drying. bless him, though. joey made her an IOU and actually followed through.

it's come out that he oversaw the construction of the cabin and even spent three months in monticello aiding the construction. again, with paparazzi posted up outside of his home, i really don't see how he vanished into thin air. and, don't assume he wasn't sitting by the campfire, shooting up and yelling at workers that they missed a spot. oh no - he was there, in the trenches, putting up sheetrock and wearing a hardhat. or what have you. 

but decorating a new cabin and building fires in the stove can wait, because it's thanksgiving! kathleen and joey ditched monticello and hauled their cookies to arcadia for the night to spend it with about 300 of their closest mates. the riot house served up dinner - they even broke out the fancy shit - and then afterward kathleen played an acoustic set with joey. quetzy ran around the stage being cute. all in all, it was good times. kathleen also bore no signs of a baby bump, but was not seen drinking. knowing how much she loves to mess with the press, it wouldn't surprise me if she was sneaking hits of whiskey off her flask in the bathroom or something. 

doll goes to big gay halloween ball at the riot house

takes joey kiss as her plus one, instead of an eight-ball like she probably wanted

and yes, joey does clean up quite well. i'm slowly working my way back into his corner.

kathleen arrived with a fleet of drag queens, did several interviews on the rainbow carpet about how gays will soon rule the earth and was basically the sparkly fairy of the night. she had several outfit changes, but my favorite look was the number she wore at the after-party. adjusting her halo and like she just stepped off a cloud from heaven, she donned a semi-sun, statue of liberty-esque golden crown. she wore a glittering skintight, flesh-colored dress with a goddess-like, indian-inspired ghoonghat atop her crown, draping down over her shoulders. 

1. kiss yet again looked like he had escaped live from the filming of grease 3 in full costume during the prom scene; but, it was working for him and i applaud his efforts. it is the second time in the history of joey kiss - the first being at the premiere of HEP! - where he looked 75% of decent and i'm very proud. however, i do believe that the reason behind that comes from his raggedy, gutter-inspired rags that he wore at the DIG! premiere and didn't want to be confused for a hobo again.

as for the benefit - it was not just an excuse to put on a costume and do drugs. tickets began at £1,000! there was also a silent auction going on in the beginning of the night, as well as a scholarship giveaway. in all, the event raised £250,000 and the funds will be divided among LGBT centers in arcadia, cielo and the isle of grimaldi.
during her last speech of the night, she thanked the LGBT community (duh) for being a large part of her life - hello! our girl's life is the gays. she has makeup artists, stylists, quetzy's nanny and basically every staff member at the riot house on her team, as well as countless other queens! she also described how she always felt more accepted by the gays than the straighties, which makes complete sense because straight men suck. straight males only utilize 2% of their pea brains. gays, trannies and lesbians are all known to be on the upper echelon of society's VIP list and you don't need to be stephen hawking to figure that one out!

in all, the doll can now fly a rainbow flag - not just her freak flag.

the doll wants to boogie with you!

kathleen has been a writer for as long as we all can remember; a riot grrrl, a mother, a singer, a hotelier...and now you can add activist and philanthrapist to the list! our girl is currently calling for everyone and their gay power bottom brother or boysbian chapstick lesbian sister to buy a ticket to her masquerade ball that she is holding in benefit of her hometown arcadian LGBT chapter.  

the ball will be held on halloween - of course, every gay's favorite holiday because it involves both drinking and costumes! - in the riot house gardens and ballroom - duh - and tickets are rumored to begin at a whopping $5,000 per person. and no, this is not a drill and your eyes do not deceive thee....the price to get in the door truly is as steep as four of my paychecks...i mean, for real doll? you know above average fans like myself can barely afford to feed ourselves sometimes! no way, josé! i cannot afford your upper-echelon shit and am not willing to empty my life savings, just saying...

however, many are tripping over themselves to do just that and the word around the campfire is that there's only 100 tickets left. c'mon, people! this is for the gays! write that check for fire island and cher and sequins! let your inner diva guide you....

anyways, i don't care about whatever the doll has planned for her big gay ball - all i care about is THE OUTFITSSSSS!!! THE LOOKSSSS!!! THE WARDROBE, DAAARLING!! i am going to be living for whatever the hell she wears on that rainbow carpet! also expecting lots of drag realness and dusty older uppity old ass queens flaunting their vintage, studio 54 gay chic halston action. 

see you on october 31! if i win the lottery, i'll be at the doll's table, in a concept look, queening out...

candy camp and rainbow coalition soft launch

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during grimaldi's gay pride weekend

kathleen was once asked in an interview that if she could be anyone - alive or dead - who would she choose? she answered, "a drag queen." makes sense. she loves her gays and has most of the top tops, bottoms, trannies, homosexuals and fierce lesbians in her corner or on her payroll. because no one does makeup like a drag queen! so it's only natural her latest endeavor is as gay as the annual fire island halloween barn dance. 

candy camp, the nightclub, opened it's glittery revolving doors on sunday morning for a preview of what will eventually be, as the nightclub is still under construction. only the first floor was open and the event featured a brunch, a drag show and a gay pride parade gaythering and pre-party that kathleen attended in a pair of pasties and a PVC skirt, which if you ask me, was worth the price of the ticket alone. and no, she wasn't grand marshall of the parade or the host of the main stage - she was spreading rainbows in the bungalow and singing sister sledge's "we are family" on kareoke. werk! 

candy camp nightclub will feature seven rooms with different themes - IE: disco, hip hop, rave, cher - framed famous queens on the walls and the uniform for the bartenders is a throwback to the orginial days of the riot house : golden sequined hotpants! all the bartenders are already famous in grimaldi and known as the raimbow coaltion, which is definitely fitting. in additon to the club, there is an outdoor bamboo patio and bungalow hut wit. flying above the establishment? a giant rainblow flag. it's basically as gay as you can get. 

so you'll basically find me, once candy camp officially opens, with the spirit of trotsky and johnny kiss at bar number 3 on any given wednesday night. 

💘 wrap party at the riot house!

doll also used party as excuse to wrap relationship with gio giotto

she showed up to the venue in a shirt that read : so many men, so little time, which was basically a fuck you to gio and an announcement that she was, yet again, single. LOL. 

no one really cares, except her ex-boyfriend joey kiss, so in other doll news, she spent one half of her night hoovering over the bar and the other half hoovering over a dusty mirror, if you know what i mean! just kidding. but she was paying her respects to 2K12 : ballet slippers, ratty blonde hair, black drainpipes, snotty nose, eyes doing back-flips....you know the drill.

she had to be carried out by headlock - okay, ludo helped...he carried her purse - and was subsequently tossed into the backseat of the gravedigger, much to the dismay of the various photographers and journalists that had gathered around. there was also a throng of fans, hoping to get a last-minute autograph of their copies of 💘, assembled and, after seeing the state of inebriation on the doll's part, they all dissipated.

ludo commented to the people, "believe me, you don't want her to sign your book tonight...i don't believe she knows her own name..." ugh been there. she probably would have signed the books "JOEY SUCKSSSS" and her own spit. and you know what? i would probably pay good money for that. 

g. giotto sends doll sexy naked mirror selfie

joey kiss is going 2 be so jealous!! 

after writing about joey kiss' sad foray back into heroin addiction the other week - and also him looking like a homeless and confused wet mop in his brother's clothes -  i really didn't think i would have to write about a more eyebrow-raising situation for quite some time...
...and then gianni giotto walked in naked and joey kiss was like, "goodbye - farewell! i'll let the homeboy GG take it from here". 

the doll was recently snapped at the cielan riot house, locking lips with giotto and eventually getting slapped around by him, kinky-style. most people speculated that she was on the verge of dumping joey because he was jailed for heroin possesion, but kathleen said, "guess again!" when, on monday, she went to visit joey in jail and then turned heel to hang with gianni. nice.

and now it's come out in the papers that on her birthday, gianni sent the doll not one, not two, but three thirsty-as-hell nudie mirror selfies that - you guessed it - were leaked on the internet. the photos, along with a snap of the couple at the doll's birthday party were later deleted. either way, joey is going to love this.

i'm sure the beautiful one can explain some kissing and love bruises, but after the leaked nudes, i doubt she can explain gianni's giant salami plastered all over the web! 

especially if said salami was anywhere near her person...real talk...

anyways, who knows if the kisses will stay together, break up, be friends, whatever. all i know is, i saw the NSFW pic of GG and i could care less! kathleen act like she needs hard dick half the time and gianni definitely has some! she needs to drop her panties in his direction!!

as for joey, it's unfortunate that he's a kiss and has a natural disposition to be a fuck-up. unless he's packing more than giotto - which i seriously doubt - he needs to start racking whatever braincells he has left to keep his girl by his side! 

because if i was her, i would already be in that hot piece gianni's bed with little to no clothes on, for real real, not for play play.

happy birthday baby!

international doll day

another year and the doll doesn't look a day over 22! i don't know if she's found the fountain of youth or if she's making a magic elixir for herself with the blood of local junior high students, some voodoo herbs and a unicorn hoove, but it doesn't matter to me! she's still killing it and i'm still proud to be her #1 fan. 

this year, though, there wasn't any lavish celebration - there were no edible diamonds on her cake, no tower of presents, no fireworks show - instead, a small party was held in her honor at the cielan riot house and less than 50 were in attendance. 

the big question on everyone's mind was : is homewrecker gianni giotto going to show up? and the answer was YASSSSSSSSSS!!! sodapop confirmed that while baby daddy joey kiss is away, the doll is at play....with gianni....

guests told reporters that gianni brought kathleen an eight-ball of love and a big bouqet of roses. she made no qualms about kissing him in front of the patrons and at one point, thanked him during her speech to guests in the vicinity. 

um......wut? she doesn't even know him! i mean, i get it doll, he's sexy and has a body that even a greek god would be jealous of, but that's not the point! she doesn't even know his middle name! she hasn't even dropped acid with him! how could she trust him? maybe she should pay a visit to the cielo county jail after all.....