joey trips over doll's eleganza

just tripping in general, really...

baby daddy kiss has always been a lumbering, clumsy clown and the other night, at the cielo-hosted music video awards, was no different.

after the two kisses left the arena, kathleen was still in her poofy real-life barbie gown and as they made their way to the car, joey tripped on her dress and literally landed in a dirty puddle. sopped it right up.

my black heart almost melted then and there after watching the paparazzi coverage, but the doll - ever full of grace - just grabbed his paw and helped his sorry ass in the gravedigger. ugh gross. she probably got some joey on her and will now have to burn that amazingly glam outfit.

later in the night, kathleen and joey sang at the riot house to "wake up or we break up", acoustically and brought the house down. everyone thought joey was going to propose...again...but luckily he kept it in his pants and is saving it most likely for some prime time special in which he gets paid lots of heroin dollars.

okay, i'm done.

needless to say, kathleen "the doll" and joey kiss are back together! hurrah. quetzy lux can now be raised under one roof! as opposed to several crackhouses throughout the tristate area. 

doll attends music awards show in cielo

joey confesses he's always been in love with her during speech

all the beautiful stars gathered tonight in cielo and the doll, naturally, was in attendance. her single "wake up or we break up" was nominated for several awards, including best new single, best music video, best female artist, etc. and of course she took a boatload of awards home! it's our girl, duh! 

but everyone already knew she would sweep the competition, so here's the juicy details on the show : kathleen arrived solo on the red carpet, late, and missed securing her first award; she was also missing from the front row for the first hour. seated in her section was caretaker ludo ludovic, wrangler headlock and an empty seat next to hers. everyone was obvi wondering who she would bring as her +1 and we were all left on the edge for the big reveal.

it came when none other than baby daddy joey kiss took the stage - looking quite dashing in a fitted tux and fresh greased back 'do - to deliver the final award of the night, dedicated to the doll herself, for best new female artist. what she really should have won was the award for best outfit of her entire life because she was giving us ball gown debutante eleganza realness and looked 10/10. she deserved a standing ovation just for her look and i'm dead serious. 

in his speech, joey began by how kathleen started as an artist and how she has remained true to her roots. he said, "she will always be the fanzine riot grrrl..." and went on to say how he constantly confides in her for artistic input on his own work. go figure. 

he wrapped it up by saying he has been "in love" with her since his early 20s, much to no one's surprise. then, as kathleen graced the stage in a frigging 90s-style prom-y ballgown to accept her award, the two embraced for a quick kiss on the lips and then she snatched the mic for her acceptance speech. i'm glad she took the microphone from him, because it truly felt moments away from a proposal. 

the two then sat down together for the rest of the show and acted like a junior high couple in a movie theatre on a saturday night. she wouldn't stop pawing him and he wouldn't stop kissing her neck and giving her hickeys. there should have been a camera just dedicated to their reindeer games. joey later changed from a tux into his typical uniform of skinny black jeans, leather jacket and a white tee for the after-party and the doll kept her gigantic prom dress on. the two literally looked straight out of an off, off, off broadway performance of grease and it was what i live for. they made an appearance at the riot house for a round of drinks and stayed long enough for kathleen to not only decorate the top shelf of the bar with one of her awards, but for her to give another speech as well. it was short and sweet and she said that she and joey had to depart to go check on quetzy, as uncle sodapop was the babysitter for the night, and we all know how that goes. 

all i can say is - fans and press alike are both remarking on how they've never seen our girl happier. go, girl - seek happy days through happy nights. or something like that. cue mic drop.

joey kiss goes to big boy rehab

this would mark stint #13 in rehab for joey kiss. and yes, you read that correctly - 13. 

somehow joey dodged a bullet and was not - i repeat was not - given an intervention after he overdosed on heroin...again...the other day. but today he's not dodging shit and his scrawny ass is firmly in the backseat of headlock's car and on the way to a rehab facility. sodapop later told reporters that kathleen refused to be apart of the sit down and was basically the linchpin in the whole ordeal. 

this is all in the wake of joey being discovered earlier this month by baby mama kathleen in his own apartment, having overdosed and found with a needle in his arm. yikes. the doll sprang into action and hauled him into the nearest hospital after he came to and made professionals deal with him. 

and, not less than a month ago, needles were found in quetzy's diaper bag upon joey returning his daughter to kathleen. this sparked worries that he was back on the bad stuff and the doll, being smarter than your average bear, asked him to take a drug test on the spot. somehow he only failed for marijuana and was thus deemed fit to meander the streets again by our girl. until now.

no word on how long he'll be in rehab, but hopefully he just gets better and gives us less kurt cobain and more krist novoselic. 

in other doll news, she did make a public statement outside of her pretty people club office in grimaldi today. she mentioned joey and his intervention and how she didn't participate. it was a lot of blah blah blah, but she basically said that she had sat in on a joey kiss intervention before and it was not a memory she'd like to relive. she wrapped up her tangent by saying, "i really should have known better. fool me once...shame on..." and then there was a long, confusing pause..."shame on, me? whatever - if fool me once, you can't get fooled again."

um, doll, put down the pipe. i believe what you mean is : fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you and fool me three times, fuck you!!!!

joey sneaks into the doll's house at night...

...scares the shit out of her

kathleen said she awoke to several messages from joey, stating that he was outside to see her, that he knew he was still awake; and then the final, and creepiest, that he saw her turn her lights out. gulp. 
the doll then attempted to page a sleeping headlock to phone security or police or both, later informing them that after she ignored the messages, joey appeared in her room - naturally, it woke her up and probably has her investing in a bedside gun right about now.
kathleen told headlock, who later told sodapop, who later told reporters that joey stated he was there because he had a key and saw no reason he should not be allowed inside.
i'm sure this is the moment that our girl also decided to fire her entire security staff. and get grandpa headlock a better hearing aid. wow. 
the doll had the last laugh, of course - as joey was leaving her property, reporters caught her on film commenting to joey, "good luck to your new girlfriend!" LOL, more like if she's smart, she'll get the restraining order now!!