the wedding of the century is about to be on and popping!

joey pops the question...again!

it recently came out in the hep parade true isle of grimaldi story that when joey asked kathleen to marry him the first time, it was not as champagne-popping of a moment, like we all thought. instead, it was more of a little house on the prairie-type deal...

now, since we all know remember what happened like it was yesterday : joey broke her heart and started dating heroin; she ran around, doing her single thing and then they got back together again like nothing happened. we all also know that this cabin in the woods is totes a great idea, but the paparazzi know his every move and let's be real - joey hasn't been photographed building a goddamn thing.

but, somehow her did!

this weekend, joey took kathleen on a surprise motorbike journey to monticello...again...and on the other side of a small lake, was a small cabin, basically screaming marry me kathleen!

joey - right on cue - told her that this was all hers, should she choose to accept joey kiss as her husband forever and ever. to sweeten the deal, there was even a rocking chair in the front and a hound dog for effect, blah blah blah...you know where this is going...
needless to say, our girl said yes, and once again is she engaged to be mrs. kiss. awwww. cue the doves and the harps and cupid fluttering around. how sweet. maybe there is hope for us single losers out there.

the happy couple has obviously been unavailable for comments, concerns or congratulations because they are either too busy doing it or too busy doing it. so don't ask!

happy birthday quetzy lux!

she's only two, but her net worth is more than yours! guaranteed! 

imagine : three years ago, she wasn't even a twinkle in joey's eye. now, she's a snotgobbling reality. and her diaper bag is always a surefire and convenient place to hide heroin dingers. 

okay, enough with the jokes. it really is nice to see mama and papa kiss back together again and celebrating the life of their adorable baby. for reals. just think...not less than 10 years ago, our girl the doll was running around naked, inciting riots and snorting cocaine...now she's all grown up, with a kid and a house with a three-car garage. still running around naked, however. but otherwise living the true american dream.
as for joey...well, i have my fingers crossed for him, but i am not holding my breath anymore! been there, done that, went to rehab. LOL. 

joey kiss goes to big boy rehab

this would mark stint #13 in rehab for joey kiss. and yes, you read that correctly - 13. 

somehow joey dodged a bullet and was not - i repeat was not - given an intervention after he overdosed on heroin...again...the other day. but today he's not dodging shit and his scrawny ass is firmly in the backseat of headlock's car and on the way to a rehab facility. sodapop later told reporters that kathleen refused to be apart of the sit down and was basically the linchpin in the whole ordeal. 

this is all in the wake of joey being discovered earlier this month by baby mama kathleen in his own apartment, having overdosed and found with a needle in his arm. yikes. the doll sprang into action and hauled him into the nearest hospital after he came to and made professionals deal with him. 

and, not less than a month ago, needles were found in quetzy's diaper bag upon joey returning his daughter to kathleen. this sparked worries that he was back on the bad stuff and the doll, being smarter than your average bear, asked him to take a drug test on the spot. somehow he only failed for marijuana and was thus deemed fit to meander the streets again by our girl. until now.

no word on how long he'll be in rehab, but hopefully he just gets better and gives us less kurt cobain and more krist novoselic. 

in other doll news, she did make a public statement outside of her pretty people club office in grimaldi today. she mentioned joey and his intervention and how she didn't participate. it was a lot of blah blah blah, but she basically said that she had sat in on a joey kiss intervention before and it was not a memory she'd like to relive. she wrapped up her tangent by saying, "i really should have known better. fool me once...shame on..." and then there was a long, confusing pause..."shame on, me? whatever - if fool me once, you can't get fooled again."

um, doll, put down the pipe. i believe what you mean is : fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you and fool me three times, fuck you!!!!

kathleen finds joey's needles in their child's diaper bag

...and the doll catches him with needles and he's not doing dope? we're talking about joey "i've got a problem with dope" kiss!

joey kiss immediately left to get an at-home drug test to prove to kathleen that all was well. he only failed for marijuana. boring! i would have thought, at the least, he'd have some animal tranquilizers on board...

yeesh. must be tough for our girl. the couple has always been up and down, in and out of rehab and on and off drugs together. even though times have recently been shaky for party doll kathleen, she doesn't seem up to her old tricks of heroin and cocaine cocktails and an affinity for all things chaotic. 

however, baby daddy joey has had a deeper past with drugs, including an overdose, suicide attempt and several run-ins with the law. he recently got off court-mandated probation for a cocaine charge he received years ago. i don't know how he got off early, but i have a feeling it has something to do with someone whose name rhymes with schmathleen. 

also, how it got out to the press, we'll never know...
just kidding! sodapop was throwing out the at-home drug test this morning and totally shoved joey in front of the proverbial bus by turning what sounds like a private family issue into a dramatic production (complete with : four-part harmonies, wind instruments in the wings, a violin solo, etc.)