the wedding of the century is about to be on and popping!

joey pops the question...again!

it recently came out in the hep parade true isle of grimaldi story that when joey asked kathleen to marry him the first time, it was not as champagne-popping of a moment, like we all thought. instead, it was more of a little house on the prairie-type deal...

now, since we all know remember what happened like it was yesterday : joey broke her heart and started dating heroin; she ran around, doing her single thing and then they got back together again like nothing happened. we all also know that this cabin in the woods is totes a great idea, but the paparazzi know his every move and let's be real - joey hasn't been photographed building a goddamn thing.

but, somehow her did!

this weekend, joey took kathleen on a surprise motorbike journey to monticello...again...and on the other side of a small lake, was a small cabin, basically screaming marry me kathleen!

joey - right on cue - told her that this was all hers, should she choose to accept joey kiss as her husband forever and ever. to sweeten the deal, there was even a rocking chair in the front and a hound dog for effect, blah blah blah...you know where this is going...
needless to say, our girl said yes, and once again is she engaged to be mrs. kiss. awwww. cue the doves and the harps and cupid fluttering around. how sweet. maybe there is hope for us single losers out there.

the happy couple has obviously been unavailable for comments, concerns or congratulations because they are either too busy doing it or too busy doing it. so don't ask!

doll to release "let's go git raped"

*gulps*

say hello to the prom queens : an all girl band, straight from the doll's collection of hangers-on over the years...
there is kathleen on lead vocals and guitar - is there any other way? - angel astazia on drums, some hippy brunette on bass and a grungy freckly girl on backup guitar and secondary vocals. angel previously helped our girl with her "wake up or we break up", which saw immediate success online, in stores and overseas. released through the independent hep parade studios, kathleen was approached soon thereafter by several major labels to record an album. her answer was obviously, "yasssss! duh! shut up and give me all your money!" 

so, today, outside of the pretty people club offices in grimaldi, she told reporters more about the formation of the prom queens and that they'll soon be recording their first single : "let's go git raped." 
......let it sink in. it's very ambitious. let's just leave it at that.
but kathleen didn't leave it at that! the next thing out of her mouth was - and this is a direct quote from joey kiss when the lost boys were dealing with the "touch me, i'm prick" backlash - "it's such an anti - let me say that again - anti-rape song, that i'm not even going to go into it. i'm just tired of people dissecting me; my art, my writing. and i'll be damned if they do it to my music." aw. so punk. sid vicious, joe strummer and joey ramone are all taking shots in her honor tonight in rock 'n' roll heaven.
i'm totes expecting the prom queens' first album to top the charts, even though she truly has no musical experience or can even carry a tune, from the general word around the campfire these days. her talent is to be discussed at another time...
also her PR team must be doing boatloads of xanax...

the hep parade true isle of grimaldi story

"You can't talk about the Doll without talking about Arcadia. She has so much history there. Those are her stomping grounds. She will always come back home to Arcadia..."
coverage on Kathleen "the Doll" Grace's move to the Isle of Grimaldi, as in the Dailies

"I remember, when she was about 15, she used to Xerox copies of her work and hide them all over town : grocery stores, the post office, the library; I even found one of her pieces in the bathroom at a local Planned Parenthood. I had the biggest crush on her. She was well punk."
Joey Kiss, artist, member of the Lost Boys punk band, brother to Jimmy Kiss; boyfriend and father to Kathleen's child, Quetzy Lux

"It's good that she found Joey. He seems to me to know how to make her happiest."
Jimmy Kiss, photographer; ex-boyfriend

"She would always bitch and moan that no man could handle her mouth and they couldn't handle her thoughts. She was too cool for all of them. She was too sexy, too much of a conquest - no one could believe what would come out when she would speak."
Sodapop Cola, Kathleen's brother

"Growing up, I felt like a reawakened Hester Prynne. I was always so bad; badder than the rest of the girls, and even some of the boys!"
Kathleen, the Doll

"Every boyfriend she ever had tripped over himself to get to her. She could care less. She's kind of a head-in-the-clouds type...on her own planet, I guess."
Sodapop Cola, brother

"She told me that since she hit puberty, she's never had a guy that wanted to be her buddy, her pal. They always wanted something from her. Not her love - just her potential."
Ludo Ludovic, caretaker

"I got arrested on the first date I ever took her on, so.....I don't think that counts."
Joey Kiss

"I couldn't believe this girl wanted me. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I thought I'd die before letting her go."
Jimmy Kiss

"When I asked her to marry me, I took her to Monticello, where she grew up as a child, deep into the woods. I took her to a small plot that I purchased, with an advance from the record company. I told her that if she married me, someday I would build her a house here to recede in repose in her old age; and that I too would be there, with a hound dog, and a shotgun, on the front porch, by her side. The only thing she asked me was if we could have a baby. I told her, 'I don't even have to think twice about it,' and she took one look at this mug, thought about how beautiful our snotgobblers were gonna be and told me to put that ring on her finger."
Joey Kiss

"Joey's the only one who has seen me without fake eyelashes on and hasn't ran for the hills...so, I guess that's real love, right?"
Kathleen, the Doll

"All I know is - my little brother called me up and was screaming, 'She said yes! She said yes!' And I knew I'd lost her for good."
Jimmy Kiss

"What people don't know is : when Joey and I were 15 years old, we made a pact to be married. We signed it in Nag Champa incense, French kisses and clove cigarettes."
Kathleen, the Doll

"I might have known it, and I would come to break her heart...I killed the bird that made the breeze to blow."
Joey Kiss

"And I had done a hellish thing, 
And it would work 'em woe: 
For all averred, I had killed the bird
That made the breeze to blow. 
Ah wretch! said they, the bird to slay, 
That made the breeze to blow! 

...

Down dropt the breeze, the sails dropt down, 
'Twas sad as sad could be; 
And we did speak only to break
The silence of the sea! 

All in a hot and copper sky, 
The bloody Sun, at noon, 
Right up above the mast did stand, 
No bigger than the Moon. 

Day after day, day after day, 
We stuck, nor breath nor motion; 
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean. 

Water, water, every where, 
And all the boards did shrink; 
Water, water, every where, 
Nor any drop to drink."

Samuel Coleridge Taylor, the Rime of the Ancient Mariner

"It was no fun, no fun at all being all alone and lonely. I was as sad as sad could be. Wait...I think that's already been said..."
Kathleen, the Doll

"Joey has an affinity to self-sabotage. He's a mad genius; he always has been. When he told me he dumped her...I just couldn't believe it. She loved him with her whole heart and he smashed it to smithereens."
Jimmy Kiss

"So, to get her back, he wrote her a love song. She had always asked him to write one, but he didn't think he had it in him. He's a punk, he feels he has to stay punk, you know? Gotta think of the spirit of Darby Crash and all that."
Jimmy Kiss

"He came over, played me a tune on his guitar and that was that; it was a wrap. You might as well call me Kathleen Grace Kiss."
Kathleen, the Doll

"I never thought that the girl I met as a teenager would eventually be the mother of my beautiful daughter. My beautiful daughter with the acid trip phone book name."
Joey Kiss, father of Quetzalith Lux Buuski Honeyblossum Grace-Kiss

"And we thought she would be blessed with 1,000 sons; but Quetzalith would be her mother's daughter."
Johnny Headlock, manager and wrangler

"Her name is very deep and very meaningful and if you want to know, you can lurk harder."
Kathleen Grace, the Doll, mother of 'Quetzy' Lux

"I nicknamed her Joey Jr.; because when she was born, we flipped a coin on who got to name her and needless to say, I lost the coin toss."
Joey Kiss

"As her godmother, I have seen my share of Doll antics. I personally would put up more shit from that Kathleen than anyone else. I don't know how Joey does it some days."
Angel Astazia, member of the Doll-founded band, the Prom Queens

"He was always in love with her. From the moment she crossed his path. You know, I should have known - when we were kids, we watched Peter Pan, every day, over and over again. And he would only smile when Tinkerbell was on the screen. I didn't think about it 'till I was older, but he's a total dope for blondes. I just didn't know he'd be a dope for my blonde."
Jimmy Kiss, Joey Kiss' older brother

"Where she ends, he begins. They are very much soul mates and they are very much in love."
Ludo Ludovic, caretaker and longtime friend of the Doll

"He plays his guitar too loud and wakes the baby; he wears his boots in the house and snores like a grizzly bear, but that's my Joey." Kathleen, the Doll"She really can do no wrong in my book."
Joey Kiss

"He has a book? That's my thing!"
Kathleen, the Doll

"She had her baby and faded totally from the parties, the gigs and the shows. And it's okay. We know she's home breastfeeding and changing diapers and shaking the rattle."
Freddy the Freeloader, original Lost Boy

"Quetzy has tamed her. Not Jimmy; not Joey."
Headlock, manager and wrangler

"She's really a simple creature - she likes to write, drink, eat, shit and bone. She's always home. She's uncool."
Jimmy Kiss, ex-boyfriend

"I like living with her because she always has a car for me to borrow."
Sodapop Cola

"Sodapop used up all the daytime minutes, eats all of my candy and hogs the remote, but he's family."
Kathleen, the Doll

"Sodapop gets a bad rep in the press, but he's not all that bad. He just loves to gossip. And getting his picture taken. And seeing his name in the papers. He's famous for free."
Jimmy Kiss

"He sure has loose lips, but that's my old lady's brother. I can't really shut him up, but I can punch him in the schnoz if he steps out of line."
Joey Kiss

"Sometimes I can't believe those two are related. Miss I-Work-In-My-Sleep and her brother, Mr. I-Ain't-Got-A-Job - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in that family, let me tell you."
Headlock, manager and wrangler

"She's a machine : Kathleen has taken over the world of magazines, books, fashion, film, television, radio and now she is honing her musical grip on the industry, as she has in so many others. 'Wake Up or We Break Up' is just the beginning, I'm telling you..."
Sodapop Cola

"She asked for a guitar for her birthday and I knew it was all downhill from there."
Joey Kiss

"I recorded 'Wake Up or We Break Up' with no help; no vocal coaching and no guitar lessons, thank you very much."
the Doll

"She wasn't really good at first - oh, who am I kidding? She still isn't very good by any rock 'n' roll standards, but she sure looks pretty as hell holding that guitar."
Jimmy Kiss, ex-boyfriend

"Can I play? No. Can I wail? Yes."
Kathleen Grace, the Doll

"She found three of the scariest girls in Arcadia, Cielo and Grimaldi and formed the Prom Queens. These girls are the stuff of nightmares - mothers should lock up their sons!"
Angel Astazia

"Her voice sounds like she chainsmoked a pack of Lucky Strikes and guzzled Jack Daniels before stepping behind the microphone, but I'm just sure angels join in when she sings."
Loyal, Lost Boy

"I think people like to watch her wiggle across the stage and writhe on the ground with her guitar. I think she has a throaty, sexy voice full of passion and grit; and it makes my pants tight. That's just my two cents on the esoteric doctrine she preaches and the popularity in her band."
Jimmy Kiss

“She came into my office and asked if she could have a record deal. I didn't know if she was lit or joking or what. I don't even think she's had proper guitar lessons. But I'm no fool - I signed her on the spot."
Sammy "Third Degree" Burns, owner of Hep Parade Magazine; co-owner of Arcadian and Cielan Riot Houses

"I don't know how to top myself - as an international fame monger and media whore; why, I'm so psycho, I'd do just about anything! Just challenge me!"
Kathleen Grace, the Doll

"She is the greatest archetype. She cannot be duplicated and is ever-changing. There has never been anyone like her before and there will not be another hence..."
coverage of her labor and birth of Quetzy, as reported in the Dailies"

I am not your conquest; I am not your piece of meat. I am not your God; I am me."
Kathleen, the Doll

the kisses are a happy family

"...daddy's telling lies
baby's eating flies
mommy's on pills
baby's got the chills

we're a happy family

i'm friends with the president
i'm friends with the pope
we're all making a fortune
selling daddy's dope

we're a happy family..."

-the ramones, rocket to russia, 1977

kathleen is in the front yard, chasing her daughter quetzalith around the small garden of sunflowers, tomatoes and herbs. joey kiss is smoking a cigarette by the pool with kathleen’s infamously loudmouthed brother, sodapop cola, chatting about being in the studio. caretaker ludo ludovic is rolling up a doobie while quetzy's godfather headlock gives joey's motorcycle a tune-up by the garage nearby. in the foreground them, a massive mansion stands : foreboding and inviting all at the same time. it is nonetheless luxurious, a portent of her 'it girl' lifestyle. 
in essence, kathleen's cocoanut gables chateau is about as doll as it gets; what with joey kiss and baby quetzalith in tow as well, it is surely the home of one happy family.
 

for the last few months, kathleen, her daughter quetzalith lux and her longtime boyfriend - as well as on-again, off-again fiancé - joey kiss; her camp - makeup artist, PR agent, manager, wrangler, the list goes on... -  have been residing at 261 cocoanut gables lane on the isle of grimaldi, in a super duper exclusive neighborhood, in a gallant, barbie-dream-house-but-in-reality-style home, ironically nicknamed 'the coco cave', thought, to say in the absolute least, a cave is it not. 
the coatroom, which ingresses past the front doors of the house, is wallpapered in an antiqued eggshell blue, with a chair rail molding throughout. vintage embroidered pieces (with quotes like 'easy come, easy go' and 'it's been swell, but the swelling's gone down') dot the walls; a very costly and very delicate set of chandeliers command the ceiling. in between the two coat-racks, beside a comfy leather sitting chair and adjacent table, is a towering gilded mirror. it's very reminiscent of the sculptural work, the gates of hell, by rodin. the columns supporting the floor-to-ceiling piece are decorated with different plaster casts and reek of what many call 'doll symbolism' : angels, babies, sacred hearts, birds, flowers, blood, seashells, snakes, hindu, egyptian and greek goddesses, and so forth.
at the top, and the largest, perches a fair-haired naked woman with a piercing gaze. her expression, perhaps caught painfully in deep thought, perhaps caught in a moment of much-needed repose; is adorned with haunting eyes that follow those in the room, no matter which whey they step. 
the mirror, and the room itself, has been nicknamed 'the gateway,' by guests - perchance because it's the first room one sees after entering, or possibly due to the cabalistic connections those before have made. despite the knowledge that the coco cave's revolving door hasn't even been operating for an entire year yet, the house already has a reputation. the tabloids run a weekly party report and the jist is : anybody who figures themselves a somebody hasn't lived life without doing drugs at the doll's and staring in her giant mirror to see their future. this idle talk is notwithstanding the many years kathleen has been said to be a witch. however, before exiting the room and dimming the light, she leans in and whispers that the mirror was bought - thanks to her negotiating skills - off the wall of a famous french museum. "there's no spell on the mirror, darling," she says in her soft, breathy voice, "that's just what i tell drunk people to have a laugh!" if that's a fact, then it most likely occured during an esoteric doctrine lesson taught by kathleen herself, no less...
in the hallway, leading to the living room, are several large porcelain vases - with motifs beckoning to the art deco era - billowing with fresh roses. in the papers, this room is described as 'the rose room,' although that too would be another misprint, as it is more of a solarium than a room and does not just contain roses.
kathleen paws at a tender-looking purple orchid as she makes her way through the space and remarks that joey was recently given a recording advance, of which he used some of it to buy her a flower field in the netherlands. "every day, a dozen flowers are delivered. every day, i find another alcove to stash them in." later she tells me that on sundays, she collects several bunches and in a basket that says nothing other than : STOP! PLEASE SMELL ME + GIVE 2 YOUR LOVED ONES, kathleen leaves them outside her gates for the public. although it is doubtful that a belle à la beauty and the beast is one of the average types to stumble upon said basket, it's more likely a crazed fan or one of grimaldi's local homeless benefits from the doll's charity. still, the gesture stands. 
in the next room - the living room and the adjacent grand parlor - high ceilings - painted to high heaven with a renaissance-inspired fresco - give way to large bay windows that overlook the ocean below. 
there's a music studio for joey to record, a suite dedicated to the couple's priceless guitar collection - one left-handed stratocaster, belonging to kurt cobain, was given to kathleen as bithday gift years ago - there is a wing for quetzy - including a full-scale replica teepee - and, of course, a sweeping library for kathleen's books. the library itself is over three floors, with working elevator, and is completely enclosed in glass within the mansion, to further protect the rare titles that have been accumulated. 
there's also a plush indoor movie theatre, a mini ballroom for hosting parties - which screams gone with the wind, as the lead architect suggested a second kitchen around the corner from the ballroom, to make service for guests more timely; not to mention, the aptly named coco cave is so all-encompassing that a full tour is over three miles. 
the cherry on top for a first-time experience comes at the end and is a climax well worth the wait. after a series of twists and turns in the east wing, a cellar door hides behind a walk-in closet and leads to an underground tunnel. rather than a panic room, kathleen has a foolproof escape route. once in the tunnel, after navigating through a dummy maze, there are one of two paths that can be utilized. the first leads to a trapdoor in the floor of kathleen's four-car garage, on the edge of the property; the second leads to a nearby undisclosed location, obviously undisclosed to keep kathleen safe in the event of an actual emergency. naturally, as it has the doll's stamp on it, the estate is more than a just fortress; it's more than a mansion. "it is where quetzy will be raised and it will one day be her inheritance," joey kiss mused. "it is everything kathleen has ever worked for. she never has to leave."

once she stops 'casing the joint,' as joey noted, a typical nervous behavior of kathleen's, her first question, though in a mockingly growling voice, is, "whaddya want to know?" 
at first, she appears to be on drugs, but that might be her reputation proceeding her. she is dressed in an ill-fitting babydoll top that hangs off of her like a sack. she has on tattered rags that barely fit and also barely pass as denim jeans. they are held together with a tangled web of buttons and patches - not for fashion, but out of necessity. well punk. her wild blonde tendrils are pulled back haphazardly with a 90s-looking clip and, due to the cut and sheerness of the blouse, exposes what look like minor scrapes and bruises - potentially from a all-night pub-crawl on grimaldi's high street. and with her correct depiction duly inscribed here, there is one shining aspect that is absolutely necessary to mention : despite her off-putting ambiance, she is a very sunshiney character and talkative girl, just brimming with the next story for her audience. 
she plops down on a large sofa, across from joey, who is on the floor, amid a pile of scattered records and old rock magazines, playing his guitar. he is dressed in ratty denim jeans that cling to his body and an equally as ratty white tee-shirt that also seems to cling to him. his once famous bleached-blonde quaff is now a dirty blonde pile of hair that hangs over his face as he leans over his archive of inspiration. he looks weak; almost defeated. of course, in comparison between an ethereal, encouraging sprite and someone who truly could pass for a kurt cobain understudy, the differences are palpable.
"we love it here," kathleen says, outstretching her arms, like a lackadaisical kitten after an afternoon nap in a sun-lit windowsill. "don't we, baby?" she nudges joey who, up until this point, seemed to be nodding off. 
he rouses, "yup, perfect for me, you and joey jr." he is, of course, referring to their offspring, quetzalith lux (büüski honeyblossum zarathustra) grace-kiss. known for her puzzling name, joey remarked that he calls her 'joey jr.' instead of, "rattling off an entire phone book every time i need to get my kid's attention." 
she looks at him, rolls her eyes and pokes jestingly, "oh, i'm sorry - all apologies." without missing a beat, he picks up his guitar and begins strumming the aforementioned song flawlessly. 
kathleen doesn't sit still for long and leaves the room to track down her harem of servants to prepare a pot of tea; then loses interest and returns to fawn over joey, who seems to be more interested in writing music. he doesn't stir upon her entry, but he does dazedly finger-pick his guitar a few more times, playing the role of the strung-out rockstar a little too convincingly. before falling completely head-over-feet into his mystique, he straightens up and begins asking kathleen a barrage of detailed questions from a production standpoint, concerning mostly the logistics of an upcoming acoustic show. and, like that, it's as if the shaky substitute for a man was never in the room. 
"i don't want the lost boys involved one iota - you got that? they can't make a decision to save their lives..." kathleen instructs joey in a firm voice. he then shows her several magazine clippings - all of funerals - completely not disconcerted by her incessant demands not mere moments prior. 
joey points to a small column on victorian funerals, "i really like the lilies they used here - very drape-y, almost melancholy." he pauses, as if he's said something stupid and knows he's going to be shamed. "i mean, not to use such a bleak, colloquial....archaic....drag of a word." he laughs at his vocabulary, shakes his head and keeps thumbing through the pages. 
"you are sure putting a lot of thought into this, baby," she says, and comes within millimeters of brushing him off; and then changes her tune, "i think if you go with lilies, you should have taper candles coming out of wine bottles too. all waxy and drippy-trippy-like. it'll really help create the mood."
"what mood?" joey looks to her with a blank, clueless expression..
she furrows her brow, looking down at the pile of - in all, mostly funeral - photographs and magazine clippings. "you're joking, right?" and then raises her eyebrow with a conviction that could boil water. she doesn't need to say the joke is over - her proper tone is plenty enough. at this point, she is standing over him, somewhat massaging his shoulders, but more so asserting her dominance and affirms : "these are not photos of sunflowers and a spring meadow, baby. this is very deep, like one-pill-a-way-from-ending-it-all deep. come on, use your brain, sweet pea. be serious for once in your life. your fans aren't mall-going, teeny-boppers - your fans have a little more...grit to their personality." as the story would go, joey knows all too well about grit - he has attempted suicide multiple times and recently just did a stint in rehab for heroin use.
the words, still afresh from the doll's cherubic lips, sting and float in the air, almost unnoticed. until joey says, "i like it. that's almost the exact psychological aspect on the popularity of the band."
kathleen breaks her blue-eyed lock on him for a moment to stare longingly out the window. possibly to gain composure and keep herself from committing bodily harm to her other half; possibly to slowly and quietly contemplate her next choice words. she then retorts slickly, "so what if it is? we're all contributing to this sick, mediocre and totally materialistic society - so, who cares? look - i'm not mother mary, i'm not the buddha....i'm not even sure if i'll get into rock 'n' roll heave. it's just, well, i've always been from the school of thought that you should do what you want. you're only going to live until you're 80, if you're lucky! start a band, rally congress; peddle the ass that god gave you and sell drugs - try nitrous. listen to punk rock. whatever." she flicks the ash of her cigarette. "start by calling in sick tomorrow and saying, 'damn the man.'" 

once the sun sets, like clockwork, joey awakens. not the joey kiss described prior, but the joey kiss that is written about in tabloids cross-country. the dopey, long-limmed greaser goofball with one-liners for days and some kind of upper stashed in his motorcycle jacket. he grins and nudges her, "oh, doll, don't you know that you'll always be the fanzine girl, writing stories about her favorite bands and articles about your revered single adventures? you know, when you carried around all your knick-knacks and dollies and didn't know up from down? you're always gonna be that girl." for a second, her face goes blank and she isn't the nearly 30 (no numbers here, people) woman, mother of one; but the 20-something young riot grrrl, adorned in a babydoll dress and some knee-high stockings, preaching about this notion of a social revolution via her homemade fan art. 
"i used to xerox feminist statements and put them all over cars and in libraries and grocery stores. just things like : LET NO MAN HOLD YOU UNDER, SISTER! or WHAT'S MORE CUTERUS THAN A UTERUS? NOT U! or, you know, a picture of gloria steinem to keep the kids in tune with their own history - i remember also copying textbook images of a woman's reproductive system and pasting them onto a globe. like, dig it, the human body is like middle earth and you need a guide, especially if you're a woman! so all over that globe, i wrote DON'T TREAD ON ME!  that one got me the cover of the local newspaper." kathleen says this, of course, as nonchalantly as someone her age would discuss their past as captain of the cheerleading squad. 
"my favorite," joey, joining in on the reminiscing trip to the corner of doll avenue and memory lane, says, "i remember a sign from a sit-in that i came to see you at. it was on a pastel pink construction paper with glitter, and you had spray-painted : EVE DIDN'T COME FROM ADAM'S RIB. i remember you burned your bra and a copy of the bible. then, when all the protests were over, you went on tour with several bands and, over the phone, transcribed her diary to the hep parade offices once a week. it was the first piece i can think of in a rock magazine from a woman's perspective. everyone ate it up. they loved her - still do." he continues, "we first met on a music video shoot for an artist i used to produce and i fell in love with her. she was the coolest girl i had ever met. i was...maybe 17? 18? that was a long time ago. i just remember, after class, she would ditch jimmy and his buddies to make my coffee at the local coffee shop and then come to the studio to write and create fanzines by night. i knew she had a crush on me too - i just knew it - but we were so young and dumb."
kathleen stops him with a loud laugh and exclaims, "now we're just dumb!" she gets up to kiss him on the forehead, comfortingly, and then goes on, "like i cared about making your coffee, pal! it was just a job - coffee's got a job, kat's got a job, joey's got a job..." she trails off. 
and with the mention of jobs, the pink elephant in the room grew from a calf to a cow. a long, silent, almost worrysome pause led to the change in topic : the lost boys' latest single - with joey kiss as producer and sometimes guitarist - is titled "touch me, i'm prick";  and has been the most controversial unreleased single to be released within the tri-cities (arcadia, the isle of grimaldi and cielo) as of yet. never was there a song so bad before, and never will there be again. joey, who has refused to speak formally with reporters, has understandably remained tight-lipped on the subject. until now.
"let's be clear : it's an anti - i'll say that again - anti-rape song, okay?"
he sighs, then continues, "i'm so tired of having to explain my lyrics to every tom, dick and harry rock journalist who darkens my doorstep." at this point, you can see the frustrated, misrepresented celebrity he has risen to. a father, a heroin addict, a punk, a businessman, a spokesman for his generation; but a man nonetheless. the pedestal on which he has been placed upon is crumbling, with a foundation built on the entire apathy of a generation, that aren't standing on the most solid of footing themselves. 
"this is fame, baby," she says to him, jokingly, "i mean, get it? that's why i had jimmy kiss in my music video...my next single will be called 'god is god - i am me.' me, get it? the doll - everyone's favorite. not the girl that's in the magazines and in the paper - that's not me. that's my shadow." 
she pulls out her guitar at this point and begins to strum the vaseline's 'molly's lips.' she stops and says, "you know, the other night at the riot house, i began to play this and people were going absolutely insane. like i was fucking stevie ray vaughn or something." she plays the chords over again and says, "this song has two notes!" 
kathleen sets the guitar down and slyly glances over at joey, then the clock on the mantlepiece nearby, and then back at joey. for even added affect, she frowns and looks at her wristwatch. "oh, my!" she exclaims unconvincingly, "joey kiss! it's almost 6:30 in the morning!!" without mustering even the slightest of fake yawns, she seems moreso upset that joey let it get so late without making her aware.
"yeah, so what?" he says, not picking up that it's time for everyone who's name is not joey kiss to clear out, which also includes (but is not limited to) sodapop, ludo, headlock, whatever various lost boys are still breathing and drunkenly draped over large pieces of art, et al. 
"that's it," she says, throwing up her hands. she looks around the room, foreshadowing a nefarious act of doll disobedience and general brattiness, and removes her top - exposing, to no one's surprise, nothing underneath. without hesitance, she proceeds to slowly creep in the direction of her bedroom, but, the whole time, she's making sure joey is watching her and moaning and groaning; saying things like, "wow, i wish i had a boyfriend to cuddle me...i guess it's just me and twilight zone re-runs like always," or, "boy, it would be really nice if someone strong and possibly named joey could carry me to my bedroom and then smother me with kisses." basically, what the rest of the english-speaking world would like to hear kathleen say to them is the anti-be all and end all for joey. this is the moment when kathleen, the doll, the million dollar brat, baby babble, the sunshine kid....hearkens back to her arcadian upbringing. topless, tired, clearly horny and ready to be joined in her boudoir, she then c-l-e-a-r-l-y states that she then wants joey to call it a wrap. 
joey merely nods in her direction, with a foot up on the stone fireplace, hand on the clock. he takes a sip of coffee, made by his own hand - as fresh as the morning dew atop the grass on their front lawn - and says, no, tells kathleen, "you go ahead, baby. go warm up a spot for me. i'm gonna stay up a little while longer and make sure the sun rises, okay?" 
instead of reeling back and decking him, she bobs her head up and down, causing her ratty blonde curls to bounce, then gives him a sweet kiss before strolling away, in her sordid denim jeans, held together with a strategic and creative approach to the many rips, tears and holes of yesteryear. and, lest we forget, her being topless for the better half of the kerfuffle. not that it wasn't a given, but those in view are gently reminded that under all her layers of psyche is a minx waiting to pounce. she struts away, nose gingerly pointed upwards in the air, purring in a singsong voice a tune none of us know, yet is so familiarly catchy at the same time. this is why she's the doll - no matter what the choice or consequence, we're all glued on her channel to see what happens next with our longtime 'it girl.'
kathleen kiss, though, is a different woman. contrived but yet to be actualized and activated, she is one third of a home, the queen of the coco cave; and wouldn't give anything - not a kurt cobain-owned rare left-handed strat, a map of her secret underground tunnels or even an old copy of her original feminist artwork - to change her happy family.

joey wants to put his dusty ass paws on giotto

joey wants to "check him" and "make him answer"

oh boy...
after the sensational article "spin or spun" came out in hep parade last week, some are fearing that there might more to the rumors that the doll is back on the wagon again. or back in the saddle. whatever, point is the article made it seem like as soon as baby q is out of sight, she's railing lines and shooting up and doing shots and smoking doobies until she's falling asleep in the middle of an interview!
so what? as long as quetzy doesn't see, quetzy doesn't know. besides, she's still a baby! she's not going to remember all the times her mama was a hella wasted.
reporters have video of joey stating that he wants to "check" gio the next time that he sees him. joey said that gio is a "crab," ie : walks sideways, talks sideways, acts sideways; and that he's going to "make him answer" for some of the things written in the article. um, make him answer for what? the doll and cocaine go back deep - we all know triple g - gianni giovanini giotto - did not make the introductions, let's be totally real. 
joey told sodapop, and obviously sodapop then told the media, that he thinks pantydropper gianni is making the good shit readily available to kathleen in grimaldi - as he's living in her "coco cave" - and considering she is weak and addiction-prone, it is thus creating a sketchy environment for baby q, who is 86.76% of the time with her mama! gulp. i smell a custody battle of the century...that joey will lose, LOL! and didn't he just get popped for heroin? he needs to sit down. 
in other doll news : because of "spin or spun", sodapop told reporters that kathleen will not be doing interviews never, ever, ever, ever again, not even on a bet, not even if it would save her life, so don't even fucking ask! he said she felt taken advantage of by the media machine and it's not cool.
um? taken advantage of? she was the one slapping herself awake and acting like a coked-out mess at dinner! she took advantage of her own damn self by continuing the interview, when she should have just went home to her big ass mansion to do drugs en privé. also, doesn't she pay headlock to watch over so that she can specifically avoid events like this? i just can't...

spin or spun

"down dropt the breeze, the sails dropt down,
'twas sad as sad could be ;
and we did speak only to break
the silence of the sea!

day after day, day after day,
we stuck, nor breath nor motion;
as idle as a painted ship
upon a painted ocean.

water, water, every where,
and all the boards did shrink;
water, water, every where,
nor any drop to drink."

-samuel taylor coleridge, the rime of the ancient mariner

the isle of grimaldi made its name originally in the 1920s for being a hotbed of pre-depression latino and caribbean-influenced architecture; but moving towards the 1980s, grimaldi became worse for wear as the inevitable drug trade and its consequences from the neighboring south and central american countries made its way north into the port. before long, drugs - mainly cocaine - took hold of the city and left its historic art deco architecture in shambles as grisly gang wars unfolded throughout the city. 
it took years of patience from the island, but by the early 2000s, restoration projects - rumored to be even still funded with blow money - began sprouting up all over the grimaldi area. last year, grimaldi's mayor announced that all historical architecture had been repaired to meet the qualifications of national museum standards. furthermore, certain designated buildings, neighborhoods, as well as native heritage would become protected by law to remain as such, through consistent maintenance and preventative efforts. 
for the last several decades, grimaldi has slowly gained the reputation of notorious party city.  it neighbors south america, europe and the many islands of the caribbean : locales only the most exotic and alluring of beauties exist. with influences and visitors from these nearby areas, the isle has become a melting pot of cultures, although does remain true to its primarily latino roots. 
grimaldi proper, also known as "downtown", is generally recognized for its skyline of high-rise buildings and is known mostly for its business and financial district, with a system of subways connecting the districts with nearby neighborhoods. constructed mainly during the 1980s drug boom, it does give off the grandiose metropolitan impression the drug lords of years past were aiming for; yet, it seems to be a world, not a bridge, away from the beach-y affluence of grimaldi. known now as the "party isle", it consists mainly of extravagant nightclubs, boutique hotels, posh restaurants, high-end shops and the like to cater to the many well-off tourists. 
for them, and for the doll, it has become the ultimate playground.

the rich, elite and privileged all flock to dust in grimaldi.

kathleen, "the doll", the girl from arcadia, has come to grimaldi to stay.
having purchased a condo several years ago on the edge of the upscale downtown area, she spent these years seeing grimaldi through a veil from a tower. then, nearly two years ago, she purchased a plot of land on the southernmost tip of the beach and began construction on what would become her "coco cave" : a sweeping estate that consists of an opulent mansion nestled within a set of extensive interlacing gardens that face both the ocean and the bay. a grand property, it is the be-all and end-all of grimaldi mansions. reported to have well over 20 bedrooms, 30 bathrooms, a ten-car garage, an indoor roller rink, two indoor pools, a ballroom, a movie theatre, an aquarium, a yoga studio and a 20,000-bottle wine cellar - it became famous in grimaldi before construction even broke ground at 261 cocoanut gables lane.

inside the gates of her manor, headlock is the first to be seen - he lumbers out of the gravedigger and up to the security booth in front of the main gate to chat with the guard, kathleen is busying herself with assisting her daughter quetzalith lux out of the towncar - but gianni is the first to introduce himself. 
he extends his hand and acquainted himself as gianni gionvannini giotto, but remarks that "it's a mouthful," and laughs that, "gio" is just fine. he is just as good looking as the papers have reported : his skin is a caramel color, smooth; his eyes a soft hazel; he stands a little taller than kathleen - not nearly as tall as the 6'8" joey kiss - and has the muscle definition like that of a mixed martial arts fighter. he balances his look with a septum hoop hanging from his nose and a pair of leather boots upon his feet. wearing a faded, threadbare tee-shirt from an obscure punk band and toting quetzy's diaper bag on his shoulder, he appears a decent balance of hunky eye candy and right gentleman.
inside the coco cave, one could easily get lost. the entrance hall is like a large ballroom : a glowing chandelier hangs over a very gone with the wind-style floating staircase and a sparkling marble floor reflects the entire space, so you feel like you're drifting in a dream. 
from the main hallway, a large sitting room is to the right, complete with a full bar; kathleen remarks that the shining was her inspiration for a lot of the design, also noting that the carpet on the third floor is identical to the famous hexagonal pattern used in the film. 
there is a wing exclusively for quetzalith, a wing for kathleen - including a cluster of closets, a spa and a studio for her writing - as well as a two-story library. there is a working elevator. there are extensive maids' quarters to allow live-in staff. believe it or not, there is a panic room.
and these are just the point of interest reported in the newspapers. in addition, there is also a movie theatre, a an atelier photo shoots, and a music studio - built when the home was intended to be shared with producer, joey kiss - as well as an underground tunnel leading several various escape routes. the tunnel, naturally, kathleen has no comment for, but did not waste time in mentioning it. 
the "million dollar brat", as she's been called, even spared no expense and brought back an archaic household device : the dumbwaiter. she remarks that it has come in incredibly handy for the baby and that she plans on installing one in all her homes. whether she is joking or not, it is unclear. 

she leads me to her wing, to her bedroom, where she has a lavish sitting area that overlooks the vast gardens that fill most of her property, along with a view of the sparkling grimaldi bay from the east. 
she leaves to change her outfit and when she returns, she is donning some sort of vintage-y, floral-patterned pantsuit with simply a lacy bra underneath. she has on chunky boots that invoke the spirit of the 1970s; her hair is atop her head in a sort of ratty beehive up-do.
certainly a change from her typical babydoll dresses, knee-high socks and ballet slippers, a nod must be made to gio, as his background lies mainly in the high fashion realm. 
ludo ludovic - longtime friend, caretaker and now nanny - trails in, quetzy on his hip, and begins talking to kathleen about her day. she comments that although she was in downtown grimaldi to oversee an upcoming shady lake event, nothing really eventful happened and that she was excited for her weekend trip to the beach, where close friend angel astazia would be joining her. to which ludo responded, "speaking of, where is joey? he was supposed to be here to pick up quetzy before you left for downtown." 
the topic of joey kiss undeniably upsets kathleen. she responds, "joey? i don't know where joey is. i don't concern myself with whatever the hell he's doing. he might be in the studio - he might be doodling on his sketchpad or drinking a piña colada; he could be baking a goddamn gingerbread house for all i care, but he's obviously not here right now," and leaves it at that. 
the two are clearly not together; however, seem to be remaining civil for the sake of their child. despite the reports of public intoxication of both their parts - not to mention, joey was recently arrested for heroin possession - quetzalith appears to to be a healthy one year-old, so perhaps it is for the best that the iconic pair split early in her life.
at this time, the intercom on the wall buzzes and headlock announces that joey kiss - who can be heard in the background - has arrived. kathleen rolls her eyes to gio. she walks to a nearby floor-length mirror, no doubt to check her appearance one last time before crossing paths with her ex, when gio says quickly, "don't worry, babe, i'll go." she gives a look and he says, "i'm sure. besides i could take your baby daddy." she glances over in another direction, as if in an attempt to damper his threats; he laughs and says, "and he knows it too." 
unbeknownst to the press, ludo ludovic travels in between the estranged kathleen and joey, almost as a peacekeeper; but definitely keeping the old aphorism of 'it takes a village to raise a child' well alive. with baby q safely under her father and godfather's watch, kathleen pleads to continue the interview at a later time. 
as she is a young mother with only so much free time to herself, there is no apparent reason not to oblige her, and a deal is struck.

it is nearing two in the morning and kathleen is falling asleep at her booth in the VIP section of the tropigala lounge. headlock has already been sent, via phone call, with the gravedigger to transport her, but people are beginning to notice.
earlier in the night, she had spent well over 30 minutes in the bathroom, and only came back to poke at her food with a disinterested look, before it eventually went cold. 
now more interested in her cocktail, and in gio, she seems to be ignoring the fact that she is in public and she does have an audience - everyone in the restaurant is looking on to her, watching her, wondering what will she do next?
obviously much different without the need to tend to her daughter, kathleen has so far spent the free time getting loaded and enjoying the company of her new paramour. however, these are the moments that the press live and die for. the media simply cannot wait to get a photo of fresh trash marks or a reddened nose, dribbling powder as she exits the ladies room. these are the times they relish and these are also the times many thought kathleen had left behind; however, are now becoming all too familiar. 
as a result from years of mistreatment in the public eye, she has become more and more reluctant to address the media. angry and paranoid, she has learned to speak little of her feelings. she talks in riddles, probably with feign hopes few to none will understand her. she has few she can trust. those she does trust are known to live with her - kept close, in her pocket. her behavior towards the press has been like that of a ghost. instead of taking an interview - she will rip out pages from her journal and sends them in to various magazines, most likely with the feign hope that someone will see it - a beacon in the storm : her S.O.S. signal. 
the public eats it up, but most remain curious : is she back to where she was when she dated jimmy kiss? what about her infant daughter? is her home in affluent grimaldi like a drug den again, needles strewn about and coffee tables dusted with coke? is she working? does she care? does she need help? and the question on everyone's' mind : what happened to the good old days of the doll?
with that, she responds quietly, "you know, i tried so hard to keep myself from falling back into my bad old ways. but it really chars my heart to hear about 'the good old days.' there were no good old days." she stops for a moment, takes a breath and laughs, possibly cynically, possibly in remorse and says, "these are the good old days."
she looks to the ground. "the dream of arcady is through," she begins her typical cryptic talk, then takes a sip of her cocktail, "but the albion sails on course."
before any headway could be made on deciphering another doll code, the bartender trots over to her section with an important phone call for her. she disappears for a moment, off to another end of the lounge, and comes back rather anxious. she changes topics quickly and spirals into tangents; at one point, she slaps herself awake and then continues on without regard.
she talks of her new home and it's lavish layout; she talks of joey kiss potentially moving to grimaldi; she talks of how swell she and gio have been; she talks of filming shady lake. everything she speaks of has a heavy dose of positivity to it; she speaks of her lush home in grimaldi, but not how solemn and lonely it stands without her once secure, now disbanded, family roaming the halls.
perhaps, though, she is just putting on, still proving that she is legendary at grabbing a headline; but then again, perhaps not. 
kathleen definitely seems to wear the weight of the world on her shoulders, a heavy heart; she has a permanent gaze in her eyes that begets a broken heart and the possibility as to if she was left alone, left alone for too long in that big house without anyone to talk to. 
she is like that of the ancient mariner with his albatross around his neck, doomed to walk this earth and share her tale. as such, day after day, day after day, the doll seems to be stuck, with neither breath nor motion; she seems to be as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean.

doll starts off new year drunk and high

am i dreaming or is it 2007 all over again?

kathleen and joey seem like they are broken up, with joey in jail for heroin possession; jimmy kiss has been spending the night with her in cielo and helping her look after baby quetzy lux; she is also rumored to be sleeping with "cielan royalty" gianni giotto and, according to published reports, the doll is back on the wagon! also on the wagon with her are her 2 favorites : heroin and cocaine! party!

now, let's give her the benefit of the doubt - maybe she's just having a bender to end all benders before she turns...a year older?

joey kiss was in grimaldi for the past few weeks - he claims to be recording with the lost boys, but little to no activity was reported at the studio. so who knows? and who cares? last week he was arrested in cielo and has been behind bars since. 

i only care about the doll and she is a mess as of late. hep parade sent a writer round to her 10050 love shack in cielo, as she's been there since mid-december. word has it that the article is yet to be released as it would give even the bitchiest of bitches a case of the #sads. the reporter noted seeing needles strewn about the house - and yes, quetzy was in the building - and the doll was fuuuuuuuuucked up on something. and no, she wasn't sharing. and yes, i'm well worried. 

oh, and let us not forget that baby daddy joey was totally arrested the other day for heroin possession. so neither of them are doing too hot right now and the parents of the year award is totally going to another couple! especially since the doll is said to be knocking boots with slap-happy gianni giotto.