doll makes a £100,000 mistake

"BFF" material or nah?

kathleen lost argosy's heirloom diamond ring...and her car...all in one day.

even though the doll has a garage full of antique and exotic automobiles alike, she asked to borrow argosy's brand new, barbie pink corvette convertible to run errands today while in arcadia.

first, she stopped by the market to pick up some accouterments for dinner; then to the baby store to buy baby q some diapers; and lastly, she stopped by her spot on skid row to check in with joey kiss. it was there, outside of the original dollhouse, that the convertible was hot wired and stolen. the car was worth over £80,000. also inside was an heirloom ring circa WWII that belonged to angel's grandmother, appraised at over £10,000. gulp.

okay, my first question is : WTF? isn't our girl nursing a broken ankle or what she's trying to pass off as a broken ankle? what leg is she driving with? and have the good people of arcadia been forewarned that their reigning queen is speeding around town in a barbie car - like a racecar driver - top down, high on pain pills? just wondering.

my second question is : how is visiting joey kiss an "errand"? we all know she was going in for a quickie and that's great, but call a spade a spade, doll! don't say you're buying groceries when you're really getting your cootie cat taken care of. *sighs*

so what did we learn? basically if your phone ever rings and the doll is on the other end, asking if she can borrow your car for "a couple of hours" for "errands," just start speaking chinese and hang up as quickly as possible.

doll goes back to high school

to give speech about saying "no" to drugs

LOL, the irony.

well apparently a "broken" ankle isn't going to stop the doll! she was booked today in arcadia at their local high school to deliver a speech, and deliver a speech she did! now, she might have been higher than a cessna jet on painkillers at the time, but that's her own business.

kathleen, sodapop, baby q and angel astazia took to the auditorium of arcadia high school to deliver a two-hour speech about the dangers of drugs use. basically the doll spent 5 minutes telling the kids, "don't do drugs, stay in school," etc., and then spent the rest of the time regaling the crowd with party stories.

as in, she told the story of the time her and lost boys were partying extra hard at the riot house and bassist biggles accidentally dropped some speed instead of his usual dose of heroin and had a seizure onstage. the band, thinking biggles was just being his usual jazzy self, thought nothing of it and didn't realize it was an overdose. oops! biggles lived to tell the tale and the moral of his story was to basically double-check what drugs you're taking before you accidentally speedball and die.

kathleen also talked about the time when she was a teenage dirtbag, baby, and how she spent more time partying than actually in class...but then she ended the narrative with how she graduated senior year with a 4.5! she didn't mention whose dick she had to suck to get those grades, but still...

the best part, though, came when kathleen wrapped up her speech by telling the minors to "play it safe" and "only smoke doobies." go doll. if weed is a gateway drug, kathleen is in charge of the gates.

our doll - not the baby mama!

in some news you totally saw coming and are probably not at all shocked to read - argosy is knocked up and bae isn't sure if he's the baby daddy! oh lord. here come the LOLs! hit the laughtrack!

this is all news as of yesterday, when airhead argosy, who must have more floating around in her lower pelvic area than her brain, 'accidentally' dropped (in front of a reporter with a camera) her first ultrasound photo. cue the flashbulbs!

naturally argosy was alone at the ob-gyn, because bae is a good-for-nothing, loser baby daddy type who would probably sooner be seen getting wasted at 9 AM than attending a lamaze class. let's just be real and not lie to ourselves. this is not the man who will be winning father of the year anytime soon.

i am unfazed by this 'revelation', albeit curious. curious as to which rat-infested, crack smoke-filled, garbage pit of a hovel are they going to raise said child in? also, with what income are they planning on supporting their happy new little family with? because those food stamps will only last so long and bae's 8-balls aren't going to buy themselves! argosy is also in no shape whatsoever to be tricking on the boulevard....i could keep the shade coming but i'd really rather not.

also, let's not kid ourselves - that nasty heifer argosy definitely needs a paternity test! if bae ends up being the father of that child, i will have truly seen and heard everything and i have no qualms with retiring on the spot.