meet the new coco rodriguez

meet bijoux boadicea

bijoux boadicea is the french-born, british actress who will debut in the doll's film. finally! the heavens can rejoice! the doll met bijoux years ago at the notorious freak fest and after a recent night of partying, kathleen decided she was best fit for coco. now the film world can be like, "argosy, who?" and miss boadicea will become a household name!

all i know is count von count holzy is probably clicking his warlock heels together and breathing a huge sigh of relief that stupid argosy is yesterday's news and thanks to the new and improved coco rodriguez, shady lake has been saved!

because, of course, the film has already become the titanic of movies and, even if we're not talking about the thousands of thousands of dollars that are still costing the production company daily to employ the production crew, let's talk about how, rain or shine, camera rolling or not, the doll still banks from the project. well, no fucking wonder!! i was very happy to place the blame on argosy's junkie shoulders but alas! i would be wrong...

anyways, holzy is due on location next week and kathleen is also expected to be in the building now that we have our star! also expect shady lake to be a bloated version of a 16-page short story the doll wrote a long ass time ago. the film's budget has to be assessed once again; the movie has had so many production problems, i'm sure people are genuinely surprised the film isn't a complete disaster right now. i know i am.

guess whose been blacklisted?

none other than bae baebel...

when the doll's phone rings and on the other end it's a sad, panicky bae baebel, do you think she accepts the charges for the prison phone call or nah? today we found out that the answer was or nah, because kathleen has blacklisted him from her fleet and basically abandoned in jail.

he was arrested for being bae baebel and being a degenerate in all aspects of life and no one knows or cares how long he'll be in the can for. especially our girl! she let the phone ring twice, realized who it was and hung up. LOL. file this under "shit you already saw coming" and keep moving.

it's a good thing kathleen is back under joey kiss' charms and spells - otherwise you know she would totally be slinking into the jail to have conjugal visits. she is not above it. besides, at night all cats are grey and the doll can't see very well, so you get the picture.

in other doll news, there's a rumor going around arcadia that she is texting director of shady lake, hans von holzhausen, again...but here's the plot twist - now he's got a girlfriend. *gulp*

shady lake still in production

the doll : "holzy who?"

the doll's brainchild shady lake is slowly turning into the doll's million-dollar-a-day brainchild, because she hasn't been on set in weeks! sodapop tells newspapers that even though his sister hasn't been there, she's definitely still involved with the project. so involved, in fact, that kathleen is taunting her costars as the killer would in the film.

now, everyone knows that the doll is trying to get some award nominations from her film and she's willing to do what it takes to get it. including, but not limited to, sending her costars dead animals...

sodapop told papers that because shady lake is a horror movie, kathleen sent each of her costars a personalized love letter in character as the killer, in a black box with a dead mouse inside. she then sent along a video and according to one of the costars, "it blew our minds away. we knew then that it was real." yeah, it's real alright. real fucking annoying. i'm sure all of the people working on the shady lake set want to strangle kathleen and would like her to get the show on the road already!

ever since argosy burns was fired in a very "bye puta!" way, kathleen has yet to find a replacement for her character, coco rodriguez. because of this, filming is costing an arm and a leg daily, with nothing to show for it! now, there was word going around that our doll would step in for the role, but someone from the doll's camp has neither confirmed nor denied the rumor. i'm sure her backers will pressure her soon enough into finding whatever 20-something, skinny, bleached-blonde cokehead-looking model type washes up in the casting room.