the twilight zone + jimmy kiss + the doll

the doll and jimmy kiss reunited over retro cult TV show

you unlock this door with the key of imagination. beyond it is another dimension -
a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind.
you're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
you've just crossed over into the twilight zone.

-twilight zone; 1960

let's take it back to a couple of months to late december/early january...kathleen was living in grimaldi in her big ass ocean-front mansion, most likely ignoring joey kiss, silently packing all her shit, plotting to leave him; changing quetzy's diapers and singing her nursery rhymes, being a singer-songwriter, smoking doobies....oh and apparently watching loads of TV with her ex-BF and falling madly back in love with him!

hep parade magazine reported that while jimmy had been staying with her in grimaldi, the two spent loads of time together and it's truly no whodunit as to why they're back together. but, according to jimmy kiss himself, you can thank the twilight zone. he told a reporter that, no, it wasn't done just despite his little bro joey. and no, it wasn't because they've always secretly been together and all other boyfriends were publicity stunts. 

he said that the two were together a series of nights, yet would not disclose exact dates, during a stormy weekend in grimaldi - when joey was not around and "on the level" (most likely a reference to him being strung out) - was when it all went down. but, come on, you do the math! those two, left alone unsupervised, during a weekend of thunder and lightening? it's no wonder she's not knocked up! i may not know much, but one thing i know is that the kiss men are doll kryptonite. her one weakness. 

i can just see it now : jimmy and kathleen, shacked up - sans quetzy - going hand-in-hand down the memory lane of their failed relationship. twilight zone doo-doo-DOO-doo, doo-doo-DOO-doo intro playing softly in the background; blankets askew on the sofa, portentous of the two cuddling up while the sounds of a tropical grimaldi storm brewed above them. candles flickering on the walls. rod serling cutting the sexual tension with clues as to what part of the twilight zone the pair will be venturing into next...

i don't know where they're going and i don't care. i'm just here for the ride, baby. and i have a feeling you are too. 

doll documentary by her, starring her...

directed by her, written by her and soundtrack arranged by her
also costume design, special effects and craft service will be done by her as well...

kathleen has secretly been filming "a day in the life of the doll" (working title) for over three years - which would mean pre-pregnancy doll scenes full of crack-cocaine, tattered ballet slippers and spliffs for days - and just finally squawked about the production.

apparently, and unbeknownst to us - her true blue fanbase - she has been collecting footage since late 2013 and is nearing the final cut. third in the collection of doll films - alongside DIG! and HEP! - kathleen gave her vow that there will be no other films with her likeness will never ever ever again and if you want a front-row seat to the one and only doll's misadventures, just wait until the flick comes out in theatres, darling!  

speaking of, i have yet to mention the real title of the picture :

DOLL!

it's probably going to be some kind of tarantino-y, kubrick-y type of piece...like being john malkovich, only being the doll. basically the visual version of what "true cielo story" and "true isle of grimaldi story" have given us historically. all i know is, she's going to produce, star and, um, do the soundtrack the house down! 

plus, she has since fired troublemaker director holzy von holzhausen, more likely for his tendency to have set romances than his actual work performance. who knows, though? i've never tried to understand kathleen's thought process, just follow it. 

anyways, here's the list of potential, rumored and otherwise people not affiliated with the project, but that most likely will be (and in no particular order of hotness) : 

• johnny frigiletti (has documented several lost boys tours; did minor work on DIG! and HEP!)

• bram goodman (yes, beau's older, better, more handsome and actually employed brother)

• casamir pulaski and kavinski pulaski (polish filmmaking brothers out of, well, poland)

• olly oxenfree (not sure if that's his birth name, or...)

• trigger johnson (researched and is his birth name)

and - last but not least :

• JOHNNY KISS!

stay tuned for updates! 
TL; DR: the doll has another project in the works and it's all visual, baby. 

happy valentine's day via jimmy kiss and the doll

ALPHA - ALPHA - ALPHA :

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

EVERYONE TO THEIR NEAREST MUSTER STATIONS! 

needless to report - kathleen grace and jimmy kiss are back together again.

the prophecies, warnings and smoke signals in the sky were all true! those two truly are meant to be together, and not even jimmy's own brother can stand in the way. our girl lives a really weird life and today's headlines in the grimaldi tabloids can only prove my point.

jimmy kiss, uncle to quetzy - child of kathleen and joey kiss, his younger brother - used to date kathleen back in the stone ages and hasn't barked up her tree for years. in fact, after several futile attempts to recapture the doll's black heart, he basically stayed lurking in the background...which is his best look in my opinion.

anyways, the blind item that has been circling around the rumor mill is true. several months ago, while joey began producing and kathleen began wrapping up major production on shady lake, uncle jimmy kiss was moved into the massive coco cave to "help out" aka be the help. 

joey, weaning himself off of drugs and trying to spend most of his time busy with work, is said to be attending regular sobriety meetings and therapy sessions to ensure he remains healthy. people close to our girl say that she doesn't want sadsack joey around the baby anymore because he's truly no help and she fears their child is going to be tainted, damaged and forever screwed up because of his essence. i say that quetzy will most likely be all of those things anyways, because her parents are totally the president and vice president of crazytown. 

regardless, everything was confirmed when kathleen's PR rep said that it was a mutual decision between the two parents, in an effort to better joey's health and for kathleen to have positive role models in young quetzy's life. not that joey is a bad influence, but when quetzy starts drawing needles instead of space ships in kindergarten...you know why...

with that being said - jimmy has been living there for months and i'm sure some lonely tuesday back in august of last year, kathleen totally snuck into his hobbit hole, did some kind of naked jig for him and that was all she wrote! jimmy has been waiting patiently by the phone, window and outside of the doll's gates since she left him in the mesozoic period and his dreams just totally came true. being allowed to move his winklepickers, trilbies and crack-stained peacoats back into the doll's closet in an honor above all. 

in closing, i really can't wait to see what kind of uncle-stepdaddy he turns out to be........*drops that bomb and runs away*

oh and yes, don't bother double-checking - it's valentine's day and not april fools, or friday the 13th or national joke's on your day. . 

doll gets the boot from her own birthday party

"i am the doll."

-the doll

oh boy. not today, satan, not today.

as you can guess from the headlines, something went wrong during the doll's birthday party on the isle of grimaldi, where she has been living for the better half of a year. 

word came out today that at her finale party - what was estimated to be a "small" group of close friends ("small" = 2,500) drunk, stoned young hipsters puking on the floor, humping each other and vibrating to the music - she was totes kicked out of the backstage area of the playboy club nightclub for not having any passes or wristbands. oh and not that she wasn't super wasted or high or whatever, but still......

she then uttered the famous line :

"don't you know who i am?"

and security responded : "no ma'am, we actually do not know who you are. who are you?"

and as that is not one of the proper responses to when kathleen hits you with the name game, she then she ran onstage, grabbed the microphone and began screeching a bunch of crazyness over the bleep-bloop music.

she took over some relevant underground hip DJ's set to say, "this is complete bullshit! i am getting chased by security at my own event!! can someone please call joey at 438-4896? i need my xanax like yesterday. fuck this. i'm going to go back to my VIP table. fuck you all, thanks for coming and please no flash photography." as she was wrapping up her last soliloquy, security literally tackled her on stage in front of the crowd. and then she screeched, "hey! watch the hands! don't you know who you're dealing with here? i'm gonna get you fired! hope you like unemployment, fucker!"

her getting hauled off the stage was not pretty and the people witnessing the ordeal were not pleased about our girl being hauled away by johnny law. have the grimaldi police force not been told "the rules"? kathleen is too beautiful to go near a jail cell, and to not immediately wish her well and have a funfetti cake handy is the ultimate insult on her birthday.

right before she sat her happy ass in the back of a cop car, for being drunk and unruly in public,  she thanked everyone for coming and asked that joey play a song for her and quetzy.  she also apologized to ol' sammy 'third degree' burns (who happens to be 1/3 owner of the nightclub this all went down in) and then offered (joking or not) a handjob if he would phone his lawyer. hers - the infamous judah fussganger - who happens to be in india, on an off-the-grid type situation for scamming a well-off client.

but who cares?! the doll is still locked up as of now in the drunk tank and needs to be snorting lines and playing every rage against the machine song she knows!!!