doll to write another book

rumored to be called last of the arcady roses

this is one piece of news that i am happy to report, but also know that it won't truly be of relevance until, like, 2021. seriously...the girl takes five-ever to produce some content, albeit gold. regardless, kathleen released word today that she will be penning a third book. this obviously piqued fans' and critics' interests alike, as her smiley book and heart + arrow book have sold over 50 million copies worldwide. imagine how many 8-balls that could buy! 

it makes sense, as people are getting pretty bored and pretty inventive since the doll has been taking some of her summer vacation in monticello. it's probably these same "sources" that have also come up with all sorts of stories in her absense. there's been a story that she's knocked up...again. there's a story that she's leaving the entertainment industry to become barefoot and probably pregnant...again...and live off the land and off the grid. and then there was a story - most likely coming from the 1-800-SODAPOP hotline - that there might be a widespread shortage of heroin and cocaine soon, if you know what i mean! LOL.
doesn't it go without saying, though, that kathleen does drugs??????? i don't need any external affirmations! do you? maybe it'll be in her next book! don't hold your breath!! 

do you remember the flower children? the freaks? the pretty people?

do you remember kathleen's original group of pretty people, which included, but was not limited to :

• flower children

• punks

• bikies

• pretty and beautiful people

• kinderwhores 

• grrrls 

• silver-spooners

• club brats

• disco dollies

• freaks and weirdos 

• grunge-o's

if you don't remember - basically kathleen's camp of hangers-on got so large at one point that she moved them all to a commune in monticello where they could live off of the land and not her land, feel me?
the commune was called a lot of things, but "the freak farm" seemed to stick.
anyways, they're still at large in monticello after...oh, you know...the freak fest that was totally freaky and totally festy in 2012. you know what else it was? it was a total shitshow nightmare from pigfuck land and that's putting it with some sugar on top.
with kathleen creeping around monticello lately - and she has been creeping - a lot of people are wondering if it's going to be freak fest, the remix this summer. so far, the doll camp has yet to issue a statement.
jimmy kiss joked to the papers, though, the other day that the famous couple will soon be back snatching headlines "freaky fast." 
so, be ready to drain your life savings fund and/or inheritance from your namesake, because if there's a freak fest II, you can best believe that means £10 waters, £20 slices of pizza and £50 for a measly hit of acid! whatta rip!

doll releases jimmy kiss' love letters

jimmy kiss to his "space kitty" : "let's get a cheeseburger in paradise"

i predict the notebook 2.0: lover's never say goodbye starring them and their (probably ghostwritten) love letters to be in theatres by 2020. i say this only because i've always had my doubts that jimmy could spell, read or anything of the like. taking photos of strung out musicians, models and hangers-on; looking strung out himself and holding the doll's paw is more of his calling card. 

i always wondered why kathleen has cherry-picked through the kiss family again and again. i also still wonder when johnny kiss' time will come on the doll merry-go-round. someday...

without further ado, here's the WWII-esque, old fashioned as hell, secret correspondences between kathleen and jimmy. no confirmation has been given, but the word around the discoball is that these letters are the glue from the hot glue gun that stuck them back together again. for your reading pleasure, in all it's glory and without any corrections : 

hello pretty kathleen.
sorry i have been busy this week, i went to the movie on monday and have been working on a grant all week. so smoke tuff for me, i'm sick , my goal is to watch tv and drink this huge bottle of oj i got
i hope you like your special drawing of your beautiful self. i hope you remember when i took the picture...it was downtown arcadia on fourth of july...you had just jumped in the riot house pool, and you didn't have a change of clothes. you put an american flag on and let me take a picture of you. it's my favorite picture. it always has been bb...you took my breath away from the moment i saw you. and now you're this old lady, full of experiences full of life
you always shine babe
also are some things for your enjoyment / amustement. please be responsible with the skate stickers, no private property but feel free to stick it to the man the return address is to my new house.

i gotta go to bed now. gotta get that money, early to bed early to rise work hard ass hell and advertise - ted turner

please feel free to write me back. i miss you
until next time - let's get a cheese burger in paradise
see you around space kitty.
-jimmy kiss

all i have to say is...COME THROUGH RUN ON SENTENCE! case in point that jimmy didn't really attend school that good. or paid attention super great. whatever. he's kind of a dumbbell, let's be honest. jimmy seems to have been given the trains and joey got the brains in the family; but, luckily for jimmy, joey also got the tendency to be addicted to anything in the narcotics family. 

the vibe i get from jimmy's letter-writing skills is that if he's certainly no bill shakespeare on the page - so he must be quite the charming devil in person. that's the only conclusion i've come to. 

but, plot twist : you know she totally has more of his letters up her sleeves for a rainy day. just know that this probably isn't the last you've read from jimmy kiss! mark MY words and not his! 

the twilight zone + jimmy kiss + the doll

the doll and jimmy kiss reunited over retro cult TV show

you unlock this door with the key of imagination. beyond it is another dimension -
a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind.
you're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
you've just crossed over into the twilight zone.

-twilight zone; 1960

let's take it back to a couple of months to late december/early january...kathleen was living in grimaldi in her big ass ocean-front mansion, most likely ignoring joey kiss, silently packing all her shit, plotting to leave him; changing quetzy's diapers and singing her nursery rhymes, being a singer-songwriter, smoking doobies....oh and apparently watching loads of TV with her ex-BF and falling madly back in love with him!

hep parade magazine reported that while jimmy had been staying with her in grimaldi, the two spent loads of time together and it's truly no whodunit as to why they're back together. but, according to jimmy kiss himself, you can thank the twilight zone. he told a reporter that, no, it wasn't done just despite his little bro joey. and no, it wasn't because they've always secretly been together and all other boyfriends were publicity stunts. 

he said that the two were together a series of nights, yet would not disclose exact dates, during a stormy weekend in grimaldi - when joey was not around and "on the level" (most likely a reference to him being strung out) - was when it all went down. but, come on, you do the math! those two, left alone unsupervised, during a weekend of thunder and lightening? it's no wonder she's not knocked up! i may not know much, but one thing i know is that the kiss men are doll kryptonite. her one weakness. 

i can just see it now : jimmy and kathleen, shacked up - sans quetzy - going hand-in-hand down the memory lane of their failed relationship. twilight zone doo-doo-DOO-doo, doo-doo-DOO-doo intro playing softly in the background; blankets askew on the sofa, portentous of the two cuddling up while the sounds of a tropical grimaldi storm brewed above them. candles flickering on the walls. rod serling cutting the sexual tension with clues as to what part of the twilight zone the pair will be venturing into next...

i don't know where they're going and i don't care. i'm just here for the ride, baby. and i have a feeling you are too.