doll to write another book

rumored to be called last of the arcady roses

this is one piece of news that i am happy to report, but also know that it won't truly be of relevance until, like, 2021. seriously...the girl takes five-ever to produce some content, albeit gold. regardless, kathleen released word today that she will be penning a third book. this obviously piqued fans' and critics' interests alike, as her smiley book and heart + arrow book have sold over 50 million copies worldwide. imagine how many 8-balls that could buy! 

it makes sense, as people are getting pretty bored and pretty inventive since the doll has been taking some of her summer vacation in monticello. it's probably these same "sources" that have also come up with all sorts of stories in her absense. there's been a story that she's knocked up...again. there's a story that she's leaving the entertainment industry to become barefoot and probably pregnant...again...and live off the land and off the grid. and then there was a story - most likely coming from the 1-800-SODAPOP hotline - that there might be a widespread shortage of heroin and cocaine soon, if you know what i mean! LOL.
doesn't it go without saying, though, that kathleen does drugs??????? i don't need any external affirmations! do you? maybe it'll be in her next book! don't hold your breath!! 

doll releases jimmy kiss' love letters

jimmy kiss to his "space kitty" : "let's get a cheeseburger in paradise"

i predict the notebook 2.0: lover's never say goodbye starring them and their (probably ghostwritten) love letters to be in theatres by 2020. i say this only because i've always had my doubts that jimmy could spell, read or anything of the like. taking photos of strung out musicians, models and hangers-on; looking strung out himself and holding the doll's paw is more of his calling card. 

i always wondered why kathleen has cherry-picked through the kiss family again and again. i also still wonder when johnny kiss' time will come on the doll merry-go-round. someday...

without further ado, here's the WWII-esque, old fashioned as hell, secret correspondences between kathleen and jimmy. no confirmation has been given, but the word around the discoball is that these letters are the glue from the hot glue gun that stuck them back together again. for your reading pleasure, in all it's glory and without any corrections : 

hello pretty kathleen.
sorry i have been busy this week, i went to the movie on monday and have been working on a grant all week. so smoke tuff for me, i'm sick , my goal is to watch tv and drink this huge bottle of oj i got
i hope you like your special drawing of your beautiful self. i hope you remember when i took the picture...it was downtown arcadia on fourth of july...you had just jumped in the riot house pool, and you didn't have a change of clothes. you put an american flag on and let me take a picture of you. it's my favorite picture. it always has been bb...you took my breath away from the moment i saw you. and now you're this old lady, full of experiences full of life
you always shine babe
also are some things for your enjoyment / amustement. please be responsible with the skate stickers, no private property but feel free to stick it to the man the return address is to my new house.

i gotta go to bed now. gotta get that money, early to bed early to rise work hard ass hell and advertise - ted turner

please feel free to write me back. i miss you
until next time - let's get a cheese burger in paradise
see you around space kitty.
-jimmy kiss

all i have to say is...COME THROUGH RUN ON SENTENCE! case in point that jimmy didn't really attend school that good. or paid attention super great. whatever. he's kind of a dumbbell, let's be honest. jimmy seems to have been given the trains and joey got the brains in the family; but, luckily for jimmy, joey also got the tendency to be addicted to anything in the narcotics family. 

the vibe i get from jimmy's letter-writing skills is that if he's certainly no bill shakespeare on the page - so he must be quite the charming devil in person. that's the only conclusion i've come to. 

but, plot twist : you know she totally has more of his letters up her sleeves for a rainy day. just know that this probably isn't the last you've read from jimmy kiss! mark MY words and not his! 

doll diaries pt. iii

originally written january 21, 2017 

9:04 PM
jimmy stopped by the house here in arcadia to borrow some old records and we ended up going to dinner. as if no time had passed, we ducked the photogs staked outside the gated and all that...the old drill. headlock just shook his head when i told him. you can't see me right now but i'm shrugging. i dunno. i'll always love him. he's apart of me.

i have to leave and come back for a pretty people club shoot. was thinking about hiring jimmy. 

"soon, soon...the unsweet by and by" -@heavyhorse

11:07985562781 PM
did i tell ya he sent me a love letter? it was misspelled, full of references even i, yours truly, didn't 'get', but laden with underlying love and mystery. my favorites. 
he sent it to me about a month ago.
i was too busy fighting off pregnancy rumors and drug rumors and wedding rumors and joey suicide rumors. or were they rumours? were they not whispers, echoing through the hidden glades of cielo and arcadia? and have they not been uttered for years, just in different variations? 

i'm no good at being alone. jimmy is well aware.
he's my waterloo, like they say...which would make me his gypsy lane...

10:11 PM
it took me at least an hour and then the amount of time to smoke a cigarette to find that damned love letter. 
still, the words are destined for me and me alone. so i shall only post an excerpt : 
"the stress of longing...

coarse as you were down the old canal, you were the river and i was fine...
at the harbour deep and mine...
you're estranged and i am fine.

you must be a stranger or broken-hearted. the uschi of my dreams.

kissy kissy."

11:46 PM
super duper cryptic, wouldn't you agree? i have to admit it made me shake and shiver. he always knows just what to say to me to make me melt. what a funny relationship. i sometimes wonder myself...how long we'll do this dance. he;s my favorite person - my greatest feature. 
my muse? surely. 

doll diaries pt. i

originally written october 7, 2013

12:01 PM
"no man is an island,
entire of itself.
each is a piece of the continent,
a part of the main.
if a clod be washed away by the sea,
europe is the less.
as well as if a promontory were.
as well as if a manor of thine own
or of thine friend's were.
each man's death diminishes me,
for i am involved in mankind.
therefore, send not to know
for whom the bell tolls,
it tolls for thee.
-john donne
devotions upon emergent occasions, 1624

12:02 PM
riddle me this : if the doll didn't write anymore, would she still be the doll? if the doll hadn't lived in arcadia, would she be any less doll-y? if the doll never met jimmy kiss, would joey kiss be any less cute?
these and more are questions you need to wonder about.
if you didn't guess already, diary, i saw jimmy two nights ago. he came to the riot house for two jack 'n' cokes and a beer. didn't say a word.
he not only knows that joey is out of town, in monticello farm country, but that he proposed. yup, jimmy's little brother really went and did it.
joey proposed and i say yes - now, how about that?
the next day, i got a call from his mother saying, "congratulations!" 
i got a call from johnny kiss saying, "well, it's about time!" 
but i got no call from jimmy saying anything of the sort. 
and then i see him and he doesn't so much as bat an eyelash.
it really makes me sad...his silence.
no man is an island. he must feel something. maybe i don't make him feel anything...make his heart go pitter-patter or his tummy feel full of butterflies, but still...
he looked at me like he never knew me. 
i wanted to just melt into a puddle on the floor and see myself out. 
when i told joey, he basically made a noise equivalent to shrugging and said, "well, that's jimmy. you know him better than i do, babe, his reaction fits his bill." 
which hurt even worse. 
the bell tolls for thee...

8:02 PM
doesn't matter.
on the 13th i have tim bob flying into arcadia to visit us here in the hills for the usual piece for hep parade. i thought about cancelling it...again...but i need to work. i have to write. i have to be the doll. 
somedays i do it for me; somedays i do it for the fans; somedays i do it for joey. somedays i do it for those who don't know me at all. future fans. or future critics. you never know. 
i just remember all the good old times, you know? back when i could write existential shit on esoteric topics featuring both the light and  dark corners of the american experiment. when did joey get so moody? when did i care so much? when did the drugs get so heavy? the days get so short? the doll....a harpy?