doll gets slapped around by irrelevant fan

doll is kinky; you heard it here first

this is so fucking dumb!! my hands are looking at me like "are you really typing this shit?" and YES!!!!! i am and you're going to love it.

last night the doll was at the cielan riot house in full doll force - ratted hair, ballet slippers, glazed-over look in her eyes - when photographers caught several perplexing and compromising photos of her.

she was out with - what the papers called - "cielan royalty",  gianni giotto, but if you ask me, anyone who puts hands on the beautiful one is nameless and irrelevant in my book.

anyways, in the beginning of the night, the two were snapped holding hands and locking lips.......but flash forward a couple of hours and she was snapped with his hands around her neck! now, most of us gave kathleen the side eye and thought : kinky; however, the evening took a turn for the worse when paparazzi later snagged photos of them in an upstairs suite, out on the balcony, and gianni was totally giving her a pimp-style backhand.

okay, i could have forgotten all about this, but today when kathleen exited the riot house, she looked like she had the shit beat out of her! our girl had a fat, busted lip, marks around her neck and bruises all over her legs! WTF?! 

press did some digging and found out that gianni is the half italian, half brazillian half bad boy who makes his living in cielo beating up beautiful women. just kidding. i'm not really what he does to make ends meet and whatever, no one cares! other than being a damn handsome hot piece, he doesn't really have much else going for him. and soon he won't have a pulse going for him, because once the doll's baby daddy joey kiss catches wind of this treachery, he'll have a funeral plot picked out and everything for gianni - bet.

in a way, though, i am not hating, because this is just the kind of panty-dropping hotness we need around here! 

doll to pen a book of pictures

LOL, yes, you read that right

the last time author and legend, kathleen "the doll" grace, sat down to write a book, it was 2013 and she wrote ☺ and the planets realigned because of it, because ☺ is everything. i'm not 100% sure, but i believe there is a copy of ☺ in every library in the world, because that's how important it is to mankind. well, now in addition to ♥, she will also be creating a book of polaroids to accompany her long awaited sequel.

according to kathleen's personal relations rep - aka sodapop - the book won't be full of pictures detailing drug use, wasted celebrity friends, upscale bourgeois VIP riot house parties and other heavy shit worth note, instead it will be a selection of choice photos that further illustrate the life of our doll.

ugh. boring! sounds like it's going to be a lot of selfies, a lot of joey kiss with his hair slicked back and a cigarette pack rolled up into his tee-shirt, and a couple pictures of baby q drooling on toys. yawn! need more doll smoking doobies on the toilet, drunk 'it' girls puking on their designer clothes and sex. otherwise, i'm not shelling out upwards of £20 to look at a book that should be rated PG-13.

the doll commented on her new book, which doesn't have a name right now, by saying : "i am over the moon to share my personal photographs with fans. i don't want to disappoint."

i have a good idea for the name of her book. she should call it :the doll : a disappointing look at my life in pictures, minus the drug use, threesomes and bloodletting. it'll be flying off bookshelves everywhere by 2016!

doll takes long weekend in grimaldi

she's in town to work the local homeless shelter, donate scholarships to junior riot grrrls and scout a preschool for baby q

...just kidding! she's landed on the isle of grimaldi to shop baby daddy joey kiss' money at boutique shops, walk on the strip with baby q in the pram and lounge poolside with books from the local library. she is definitely not in town to work or do anything of substance. unless it's cocaine. or heroin. she's quite partial to both.

the two kisses landed and dropped baby q off at their penthouse in downtown grimaldi, just minutes away from their luxurious cocoanut gables mansion. the mansion is also minutes from "the strip" - aka front street - which could easily pass as the sister to bethel boulevard in cielo, where the original, doll-owned riot house stands. front street is home to the many nightclubs, bars, restaurants and hotels of hustling, bustling grimaldi and within walking distance from kathleen's coco cave. one of the favorites of the couple is the historical playboy club, modeled after the famous magazine. the two have been snapped by the paps there several times, looking very disheveled and like kathleen was channeling 2012's spirit to come and revamp her body.

the isle holds a rich history and many celebrities have resided there. kathleen's home was formerly owned by toca trocadero, notorious nightclub and bar owner who founded the clubs that populate the strip still to this day.

now, he was said to have been a gangster, during his heyday in the 40s, and that he ran illegal gambling in the back of his establishments.

kathleen, who is familiar with the stories surrounding toca's name, took a nod from one of nightclub designs and in the riot house she has secret passageways between certain rooms, the kitchen, the bar and the VIP area; all of the passageways lead to an exit, a necessity in case of any police presence.

the lost boys reform at the riot house pool party

gulp - kathleen and joey seen dancing together...

in case you're like me and missed the lost boys reforming last night - most likely alongside their old counterparts : heroin, cocaine, booze and punk groupies - let us gather together and spill the tea on everything that went down at the riot house last night.

after rocko j. nasty passed several years ago, the lost boys disbanded, leaving many fans heartbroken and deaf. last night, the band reformed - with newcomer darby combat on lead - and kathleen on tambourine. she seemed awfully close to mr. combat, but that's probably just because she needs to get laid.

nothing else cool really happened (ie: arrests, overdoses, indecent exposures, doll grabbing the mic to curse out hecklers...) and our girl was home by the witching hour to cast spells.

no word as to if she went home with baby daddy joey kiss. photographers inside the event caught her dancing with him and - get this - she was having a good time! i already know what this means : cue joey moving all his crap back into the dollhouse! those two are back together, i just know it! also, i am glad to see joey is back to his natural hair color - being a towhead is not his look and he needs to leave blonde hair to the doll.