the lost boys reform at the riot house pool party

gulp - kathleen and joey seen dancing together...

in case you're like me and missed the lost boys reforming last night - most likely alongside their old counterparts : heroin, cocaine, booze and punk groupies - let us gather together and spill the tea on everything that went down at the riot house last night.

after rocko j. nasty passed several years ago, the lost boys disbanded, leaving many fans heartbroken and deaf. last night, the band reformed - with newcomer darby combat on lead - and kathleen on tambourine. she seemed awfully close to mr. combat, but that's probably just because she needs to get laid.

nothing else cool really happened (ie: arrests, overdoses, indecent exposures, doll grabbing the mic to curse out hecklers...) and our girl was home by the witching hour to cast spells.

no word as to if she went home with baby daddy joey kiss. photographers inside the event caught her dancing with him and - get this - she was having a good time! i already know what this means : cue joey moving all his crap back into the dollhouse! those two are back together, i just know it! also, i am glad to see joey is back to his natural hair color - being a towhead is not his look and he needs to leave blonde hair to the doll.

bae dumps argosy like a full ashtray

this is the best picture of argosy...ever

that girl is totally like an ashtray and she really should be dumped....off at the nearest mental institution!

bae baebel dodged a major bullet, took a nod from joey kiss and broke up with short-term girlfriend argosy burns yesterday, much to the pleasure of our doll. bae famously ditched kathleen for argosy and somehow wriggled away to tell the tale. then, right when everyone thought those two would split, argosy confirmed that she was pregnant with his offspring! gulp.

naturally kathleen's next step was to have her fired from her film shady lake. they replaced her character, burned anything she ever touched and everyone on set signed a contract to respond "argosy who?" if anyone mentioned her name. bae, though, not so much....he got off way too easy and has really yet to see any official wrath from the doll. perhaps all the stress of having a newborn baby around is rattling her nerves and therefore weakening her powers.

anyways, as for argosy, hasn't it only been a week since the big baby news? and now argosy is single? that sure didn't take long! i'll try to pretend we're dealing in dog years and not minutes, but...

i'm sure choirs on high could be heard in arcadia as kathleen skipped through the streets, singing, "ding-dong! the witch is dead."

joey kiss is feeling himself as a beautiful blonde

LOL JK; joey kiss gets dumped like a heavy load of bricks

not like he isn't used to it or anything! he told reporters today he is "single again," after some nameless, 20-something, skin and bones blonde model-type - who no one ever bothered to get the name of - broke whatever pieces of heart he has left. in his defense, he probably has a breakup mixtape and a conditioned method of shaking the blues! i do not feel bad for him in any way and honestly my only concern is that he sticks the child support in the mail every month! so what if the doll takes the money to the strip club or shovels it up her nose? IDGAF! he needs to do his job as baby daddy. seriously - if joey can dance and parade around the club with his new monroe-inspired locks, joey can definitely work. and i haven't seen joey 'work' in ages...

anyways, so he went and dyed his hair à la our beautiful blonde doll and apparently he thinks it suits him. if he thinks it will possibly have kathleen turning her head, he can think again! she is focusing super hard on being a good mom, casting spells for protection against argosy, refraining from tons of drug use, rubbing crystals on her forehead and hopefully finishing her masterpiece,♥!!