baby babble and her spoonful of sugar are hitting the road!
kat and kiss are going on tour! why, you ask? i think the more important question is : THOSE 2 ARE BACK TOGETHER? oh lord jesus help us.
yup, kathleen somehow talked her way back into jimmy's pocket. word has it, she showed up outside of jimmy's cardboard shack on the street last night and lied through her teeth made a bunch of empty promises to get him back. i guess it worked, because today hep parade magazine announced 'the sunshine tour'. tickets will be on sale online starting next week. i'm sure those two will paint the skid row neighborhood red. and a little bit of the brown and white, if you know what i mean.
in the rider, the troublesome doll rather ridiculously demanded;
one (1) roadie who speaks decent french, bad german and even worse english. he must not be afraid of death. also, he needs to be comfortable with:
1.) headlock - headlock will be his right hand man. this may seem obvious, but take it from me - he is not a people person.
2.) china white, needles, wadded-up pieces of tinfoil and getting arrested - this is all we do.
3.) sodapop - sodapop will talk at will. feel free to ignore him totally or carry your own earplugs.
demands:
security; we will be requiring the use of three (3) intensely loyal security persons - who don't mind looking the other way if certain situations should arise - to be stationed at the entrance of the dressing rooms. yes, three men, preferably built like brick shit-houses, to stand menacingly outside the doors. please also note that during the crawl, we will have extra persons with us - no police, thanks.
parking; this is skid row and kathleen and her people will require parking passes for at least seven (7) cars on the dar of the crawl.
dressing rooms; three (3) comfortable dressing rooms will be required. one for trotsky and sodapop - as well as the production crew of DIG!
*the kisses will require the exclusive use of the dressing room for the entire day and night of the gigs. the doors should lock and the rooms should have the ability to be temperature-regulated by the occupants. there must also be a 120-volt electrical service in each. this means a really janky-looking wall socket that's already got three things plugged into it. for our friends from france.
1.) silver tea service would be the best. i suppose you could provide a kettle or a coffee machine if you like, otherwise i'm sure there's a café nearby. and if there isn't - this is god, telling you to open one.
2.) two (2) packs of playing cards. in case jimmy wants to do some card tricks - or kathleen wants to hold a quick game of strip poker.
the kisses;
fresh ginger, honey, lemons and a knife sharp enough to stab jimmy kiss with. and some chinese gunpowder tea so we can blow the joint up. kidding! i doubt you'll be able to find chinese gunpowder tea at this time of year.
an english language newspaper
a bucket of ice, for champagne
a box of tinfoil
2 bottles each: grey goose or belvedere
jamison whiskey
martell cognac
1 case each: heineken
banana bread beer, brewed by our friends from england
coca-cola, in bottles, with cane sugar
ribena juice boxes
2 boxes of rough rider condoms
assorted candy (saturn zingers, flying saucers, raspberry bootlace...)
1 carton each of camel blue, parliament full flavor and light american spirit cigarettes.
*i'd just like to say that the next time that i, the sunshine kid, gets booked, if my rider is not totally satisfied, i will show up at the venue three hours late and won't go on until my needs are met.
*and no wimping out every night after a few drinks. the sunshine kid will frown upon this as the tour motto now is "blood in, blood out."
the fun, fun times for her.
and, it sounds like sodapop will be joining in for the hijinks as well! hopefully the kisses cut him out of all the action, because you know the second that the tour is over, soda's going to go make some real money with the newspapers. i am convinced that sodapop should get a device installed in his body, so that when the fence needs ideas for cover stories, they can just stick a couple of quarters in him and he'll spit on out. it's pretty much the same thing he does now, only with less mechanics involved.