and now a little bit of ho wisdom from the doll

the doll has all the answers

no, she didn't do the walk of shame at arcadia high and deliver another after-school-special type of speech......it's fanmail time. whenever i get on my knees and begin to thank my lucky stars that the doll isn't answering fanmail anymore, another installation - most likely made possible by whatever slimy squad of heroin junkies that still read the shit - is released. *sigh* right when you think it's been buried, the doll grabs her favorite shovel and digs it back up.

now, while most women are fighting the good fight against man for equality, kathleen is busy telling her army of riot grrrls to "be a bad bitch" and pretty much milk your boyfriend for everything that's in his savings account.

the wisdom :

Q: Where are you right now?
A: with ur boyfriend lmao
Q: Why spending so much time at Arcadia High?
A: WUT CAN I SAY? i really love these high school boys.....see, i get older - they stay the same age
Q: Let me guess - you were only at Arcadia High School to be apart of Show and Tell?
A: guess again! he needed a ride + not the kind ur thinking
Q: I see now...can I get a ride? I'm on the corner of Cahuenga and Sunset...
A: ass, cash or grass - no one rides 4 free in the gravedigger
Q: Were you preppy in high school or a burnout? I really can't tell with you...
A: HOMECOMING QUEEN, PART-TIME MODEL + HEAD CHEERLEADER
Q: I just read you installment in this month's Pretty People Club - first of all, welcome back! Secondly, who in the hell is Ponyboy?
A: his real name is none of ur beeswax and he's jimmy's best pal, best buddy, longtime confidant and right hand man. he does mustang repair and is basically an all-american boy : eats apple pie, drives a mustang, plays lacrosse, his favorite food is cheeseburgers...
Q: What are your plans for the holidays?
A: try not to get arrested - if i do, write santa lickety split and ask 4 the charges to be dropped
Q: What did you get your loved ones for Christmas?
A: 1ST OF ALL WE CELEBRATE HANUKKAH IN THIS HOUSE BETTER RECOGNIZE
#2 DO I LOOK STUPID? WAIT DON;T ANSWER THAT
Q: What do you want for Christmas?
A: i asked santa for 100 pairs of fake eyelashes, a 1970s emboridered disco pantsuit, a copy of armageddon, to hire a professional blunt and/or doobie roller, to never pay taxes again, quaaludes to come back in style, a new pair of black riot grrrl boots, some crystals for my altar, a rose of jericho for good luck, shady lake to be finished already, a lifetime suppy of fake eyelashes and peace on earth
Q: Do you really think the 312 Dollhouse on "Skid Row" in Arcadia is the best place to raise your baby girl?
A: OUTER SPACE WOULD BE BEST - me and my blood are too good for this planet, we should really spread our good sense elsewhere in the universe
Q: How is Quetzy?
A: baby is fine she is just being the world's most coolest and hardxcore baby....she is generally either with ludo watching trashy reality television and learning what not to be like in the future. ludo consistently tries to brainwash her with the gospel of various vapid "celebrities" and i consistently have to reverse the effects with hours of making Q listen to selected rare riot grrrl vinyls
Q: How was Quetzy's first birthday?
A: BETTER THAN URS
Q: Jimmy Kiss was reportedly seen arriving to the Isle of Grimaldi nights before Quetzy's lavish birthday bash and spend that time at your beachfront mansion - did he stay with you?
A: UM YA he's practically my brother-in-law and @ one point it could have been him, so why wouldn't i oblige his old ass with one of our guest bedrooms LMAO
Q: Are you and Jimmy getting back together?
A: the day jimmy and i get back together is the day i grow a full-on unibomber beard
Q: What is your plan with Joey Kiss?
A: i;m on a non-plan plan with him....i take it day by day : some days i want to kill him and make it look like an accident; other days i want to push him down a flight of stairs and make it look like an accident; most days i want to make a litter of kids with him, but honestly a lot of the time i try to scheme up ways to murder him w/o getting caught via forensic evidence
Q: Have you ever used a man?
A: O HUNNAY ALL THE TIME! as a woman you can use ur cootie cat 2 turn any man into a walking ATM and/or a magic genie lamp for whatever ur heart desires
Q: Did you ever use Joey for his money?
A: LOL NO THAT TRICK IS BROKE AS A JOKE!!!!! ROFL! when i said as a woman it's easy 2 just seduce a man to when what you need, i definitely wasn't talking about him. seek maynard b. alberkraut his family is all up in that old arcadia $$$
Q: How would Maynard feel about being used?
A: PRBLY RLLY GR8 WHY / he is rich af and needed guidance on what to spend his hard-earned trust fund $ on

LOL, wow. while some women are fighting for equal pay and creating a new stigma for women aside from housewife, kathleen is busy making sure women know their lane and stay in it! IE : a woman's place is in the bedroom and she needs to stay there until she has full access to her man's offshore accounts.

before the doll was the doll....

 
IMG_0618.jpg
 

.....she stayed at one-star hotels LOL

long before the doll was a household name and long before she could afford the riot house, our girl was just like us : paying bills, doing her taxes, living paycheck to paycheck, eating dry ramen sometimes, asking her mom to do her laundry, making it do with a do.........and apparently also staying in fleabag motels!

kathleen shared a story with the pretty people club magazine today about her foray into the industry and how she knew she would eventually be a famous queen that we all fear and bow down to. everything she shared was *yawns* old news and basically if you have read the tl;dr hep parade true cielo story, you already know; but the best part of the interview came when baby babble blabbed about the sketchiest hotel room she ever stayed in; and no, it wasn't during a cocaine-fueled night at the riot house LOL.

let's take it back to early Y2K when the clothes looked like they were from the future and you were still cool if you had a basic ass flip phone - the doll was under 21 and still trying to get her career off the ground. as it was, she traveled around from arcadia to cielo to the isle of grimaldi and sometimes even as far as monticello for meetings with pretty much anyone who had lots of money to back the doll's dreams and faith that she wouldn't do too many drugs and OD before her dreams came true.

on one particular night in grimaldi, after a long day of meetings with publishing houses, the doll decided to crash locally instead of hopping a flight back home to arcadia. well, i don't know if the hotel room was on sale or if the beautiful one was low-key on a budget and not saying, because she ended up selecting a motel (not hotel, mind you) that cockroaches were even too proud to call home.

kathleen told the pretty people club that she was traveling with then boyfriend jimmy kiss, his best friend/heroin dealer, known as ponyboy, as well as future best friend angel astazia and she booked a room last minute so that the squad could get some rest before hitting the grindstone again the next day. only thing? the room was literally a mix between a twilight zone episode and a time machine trip back to 1993 : the TV was legit chained to the wall and clearly picked up from a pawn shop in the 80s, with only 7 channels to boot and 5 of them were static; there were bullet holes in the door; there was no phone in the room and no cell phone reception; the room smelled like dust and shattered hopes; jimmy kiss had to donkey-kick the A/C to make it work; the carpet looked like it was from the movie the shining and thus made the party feel like they were in the shining and about to murder each other; there was a creepy locked cabinet placed conveniently in front of the beds and looked as if it had a recording device inside; wifi was a joke - dial-up would have been more efficient and the only working internet was in the lobby where everyone and their sister was camped out, taking up any and all free space; the bed sheets were made of a polyester-plastic blend; there was a lovely prison yard-looking, basketball-type court in the back of the hotel that looked to be a hotspot for rapes and drug deals and, last but not least, the four got stuck in the elevator for 20 minutes on their escape from the sketchiest motel ever and almost died. oh, and the toilet wouldn't flush. but for some reason i think that was the least of their worries. it was like a low-grade tropical oasis jail-style getaway!

speaking of jail - at the time, jimmy kiss was facing a week incarceration for being jimmy kiss, and kathleen remarked to the pretty people club, "i asked jimmy kiss for only one favor when he went to jail : i told him that if jail ends up being better than the room we had in grimaldi...i wanted to know about it." i have a very strong feeling jimmy reported back to kathleen that he would rather go to jail any day of the week LOL.