get out your official katty cakes secret decoder ring for this important message
well, well, well - you would think the doll would have more important things to be doing with her life, instead of writing about sluts and satan and leather boots and tattoos and other bullshit, but you would be wrong. so, without further ado, please pull out your mirrors and your rolled-up dollar bills for our angel baby - kathleen.
Q: Does Joey Kiss have any tattoos?
A: yes - a butt tat that says : IF UR READING THIS RIGHT NOW....UR A SLUT......no, he has the shape from the cover of the creepy-crawlies' record of "a cowboy need a horse"
Q: Do you have any tattoos?
A: yes - a butt tat that says : IF UR READING THIS RIGHT NOW....I'M A SLUT
Q: When you look back on interviews that you did with Jimmy Kiss, what do you think?
A: i slither off to the nearest corner and hide and pretend that it wasn't me
Q: What do you know now that you didn't know then?
A: UM THAT MIXING HEROIN AND COCAINE ISN'T REALLY COOL
Q: What kind of people are permitted past the velvet ropes at your parties?
A: losers, winners; privileged white kids and strung-out junkies
Q: If you could say anything to Beau Goodman, what would it be?
A: shut the helllllllllll up
Q: Who kisses better - Jimmy or Joey?
A: I DO - jimmy kisses like a whore and joey kisses like a virgin
Q: Is it just me or have you gotten more spacey?
A: WTF - I'M ON PLANET EARTH......I THINK
Q: Do you use drugs?
A: no - i was born high
Q:How many times have you been arrested?
A: why - do i have a warrant that i don't know about?
Q: You totally want Jimmy Kiss' head on a silver platter, don't you?
A: i would never hurt jimmy - besides, if i wanted him dead i would have done it already - TRUST ME
Q: Do you know how ugly you are?
A: i've done thousands of videos - yes - i know how ugly i am
Q: What will it take for you to complete ☺?
A: i use : coloring crayons, cocaine, my bird's nest at the top of lookout mountain, candy, the downtown cielo public library, my grandpa's expired medication, china white, pencils and pens, fumes from the gravedigger's exhaust pipe, fizzy drinks, knives, ice lollies, insomnia, clean needles, a homing pigeon, stud cigarettes, payphones, satan's influence, weird-fucking-shit-from-outer-space, the soul of jimmy kiss, words and other top secret junk
Q: Do you ever shut up?
A: DUH - RIOT, DON'T BE QUIET
Q: Virgin?
A: whore
Q: Virgin.
A: WHORE
Q:Virgin!
A: WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q: Did you know that hanging with motorcycle gangs is not very nice for your reputation?
A: WHO SAID I WAS NICE????
Q: What are your dying wishes?
A: "WE HAD A DEATH PACT, AND I HAVE TO KEEP MY END OF THE BARGAIN. PLEASE BURY ME NEXT TO MY BABY IN MY LEATHER JACKET, JEANS AND MOTORCYCLE BOOTS"
Q: What's next for the Doll after ☺?
A: she's going to start advancing money to a secret squad of dope-smugglers in inner-city arcadia, as well as opening a chain of satanic churches in cielo
Q: How does Jimmy feel about you dating his little brother?
A: SUPER DUPER - he's attempted suicide six times so far
Q: How does Joey feel about dating you, seeing how you used to bang his older brother?A: SUPER DUPER - i've only caught him with a shotgun in his mouth six times so far
Q: I don't get it - how do you even make money? Your books suck!
A: who are you to tell me what a book is? you, who have written so many books - how many? none? ever? i bat my eyelashes and a million copies are sold
oh, brother - some wonders never cease!