katty cakes beats heroin snots out of beau badman, tells fuzz "i didn't know i couldn't do that" - the laughs can still be heard echoing in space
i'm absolutely positive now that kathleen was absent on the day they taught "treat others how you would like to be treated" in kindergarten - unless, of course, she does like to have her face smashed into the pavement on a regular basis - because i am tired of having to write about the doll stomping some ass! shit's ridiculous.
last night began normally - the doll was hitting the sauce at the l'amour bar and restaurant like usual with jimmy, when she stepped outside for a smoke. okay, she, jimmy, trotsky and anyone else who wanted to come, stepped outside for a doobie break. kathleen was busy hotboxing the gravedigger, when sodapop knocked on the window and warned her that beau badman was in the house. notes from fuzz on the scene state that the fight started when beau approached the gravedigger. it was on! kathleen pushed jimmy out of the car and began to lay the smackdown on beau. by the time she finished, there was blood all over the car, her dress and the concrete. the report went on to say that she slammed his head into a window and hit him until sodapop and jimmy could peel her off. i'm sure somewhere in there it also mentioned how she was chasing the dragon during all of this. she's like an octopus - she can beat beau badman with one hand, shovel snow up her nose with another and write down ideas for her next book, all while smoking a cigarette.
as she was being hauled off in the paddywagon, she howled her world-renowned line, "if i ever see you again, you're dead!" only, i seriously doubt that because he was arrested also for...well, for being beau badman. and, like usual, as soon as beau was in custody - he started singing like a canary! he told the officers that this wasn't his first time riding the doll beatdown rollercoaster with no safety bar and that he feared for his life. i would too - no one fucks with jimmy's wallet aka kat. all she had to say was, "i'm sorry, officer, i didn't know i couldn't do that." the handcuffs dissolved instantly into a pile of glitter and the doll was free!
outside of her skid row palace this morning, she hushed the naysayers with, "i don't know if you've ever mixed heroin and cocaine before..." no, she didn't, but you know she wanted to!