pig sting at the 312 dollhouse!

this bitch will never learn! even though her own company hired her a handler because she can't get her ducks in a row and even though her cracky boyfriend just barely strolled out of jail in time for christmas, the doll has been involved in yet another police matter! investigators arrived at 312 skid row this afternoon to "tie up some loose ends" concerning jimmy kiss and beau badman's bare-knuckled street fight. sodapop told the flashers that kathleen opened the door to them and before they could exhale out one sentence, she told them to kindly get the fuck off her property. then she yelled at headlock for even letting them through the front gates!

i don't know what to believe - if you or i pulled that kind of stunt, we'd be long gone in a jail cell by now, protecting ourselves from the butthole surfer rapists.

headlock is a big-time square

he lives in squaresville

this headlock character is no joke! tonight, kathleen and beau somehow escaped his clutches to go booze it up, rail lines and continue on their quest for world peace - and were having a total blast - until headlock came in and ruined everything! he drug the doll's tail out of the bar kicking and screaming and then promptly tossed her in the back of the gravedigger. beau tried to sit shotgun, but headlock did the right thing and said, "what does this look like? a taxicab? hit the pavement, deadbeat!" headlock is totally growing on me. i'm a big fan of his work now.

the flashers outside stood completely floored - they've probably just never seen the doll leave a party so early. headlock told them, "she forgot she has to be up early in the morning." um, i don't think she forgot.

headlock was hired by kathleen's studio, a couple of weeks ago as a wrangler because the doll is as bad as bad can be. her people have already tried drying her out in rehab, but it was to no avail. luckily, headlock is slowly but surely becoming baby babble's absolute kryptonite - he has her home early and makes sure she doesn't sleep in too late. he's built like a brick shithouse, so anytime kathleen gets a little lippy - he just throws her over his shoulder like a sack of sugar and puts her in time out. actually i doubt that. according to sodapop cola, kathleen's brother, he'd just probably call her a cunt!

"from the start, the two of them squabbled all the time. she'd say, "you're the worst cunt," and he'd say, 'no you're the biggest cunt,' and then she'd say, "no, you're the cunt."

i'll bet. he went on, but i think we all know where he was going.

jimmy's "baby babble" needs a babysitter

.....named headlock

whenever the photographers have to pay their bills, they just go to kathleen's 312 home, bum jimmy kiss a couple of cigarettes and before long - jimmy is a-singin' like a canary! he'll sell the doll down the river quicker than lager turns to piss. and he must have done just that today, because people on the 'inside' got hold of word that kathleen's camp - hep parade studios - is hiring her a fulltime babysitter handler. and no, it's not because she's so beautiful. honestly, this poor soul has a snowball's chance in hell of getting the doll to do shit! besides, after one hit of her secondhand heroin smoke....

jimmy said that the man's name is "headlock," which is promising, considering the reputation of 'right-hook' kat. he said that this headlock person would be living with them at the 312, along with kathleen's brother sodapop. soda has already moved into the last open bedroom inside the house, so poor headlock is going to have to sleep on the floor! LOL.

in other doll news, beau goodman has moved back into his house in the easy street hills. jimmy kiss didn't miss out on his chance and told him to "hit the pavement!" today while kathleen was out. beau is MIA and hasn't been seen since, but i'm sure he'll slither back to skid row.

the 312 has a revolving door reputation

well...according to the one and only jimmy kiss. he told the photographers staked outside of his skid row home in arcadia today that kathleen is a "party girl" and as a result, the house has quickly gained a "revolving door reputation." he pretty much said that she doesn't listen to him and invites over "everyone and anyone." and by that, i'm sure he just means beau goodman. or should i say beau badman! he is kathleen's coke dealer coattail-rider and hails from the elite easy street hills. let me put it this way - if jimmy is bad, beau is worse.

he was working at the l'amour restaurant as a bartender, so it was only natural that he and kathleen became best friends. now he's somebody! it's that easy. but he's about to be one dead somebody, because jimmy told the papers that he can't stand beau. actually, i believe kiss said, "i wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire." well...cat's out of the bag! you know jimmy sits out front of the 312 all day in a rocking chair, smoking a corncob pipe, with a shotgun in his lap - just waiting for beau badman.

now, word around the campfire is that jimmy basically went to the top of the tallest building in town and threatened to jump if kathleen didn't agree to stop seeing beau. she caved in and promised she would stop being his best and only friend. except, she must have been making that promise with her fingers crossed behind her back, because she and badman are still chummy chums, chumming about arcadia. i think the bast part, though, would be that kiss - who doesn't contribute a single dime to the 312, because he doesn't really do anything for a living, except cook heroin on a spoon over a candle play with a camera once in a while - still thinks it's appropriate to order the doll around! earth to papa kiss - no one even asked you anyways!

and p.s., the only other person who is using the "revolving doors" - besides beau - at the 312, is sodapop cola. the deadbeat has been living in a tent in the backyard since the two kisses bought the place!