pig sting at the 312 dollhouse!

this bitch will never learn! even though her own company hired her a handler because she can't get her ducks in a row and even though her cracky boyfriend just barely strolled out of jail in time for christmas, the doll has been involved in yet another police matter! investigators arrived at 312 skid row this afternoon to "tie up some loose ends" concerning jimmy kiss and beau badman's bare-knuckled street fight. sodapop told the flashers that kathleen opened the door to them and before they could exhale out one sentence, she told them to kindly get the fuck off her property. then she yelled at headlock for even letting them through the front gates!

i don't know what to believe - if you or i pulled that kind of stunt, we'd be long gone in a jail cell by now, protecting ourselves from the butthole surfer rapists.

headlock is a big-time square

he lives in squaresville

this headlock character is no joke! tonight, kathleen and beau somehow escaped his clutches to go booze it up, rail lines and continue on their quest for world peace - and were having a total blast - until headlock came in and ruined everything! he drug the doll's tail out of the bar kicking and screaming and then promptly tossed her in the back of the gravedigger. beau tried to sit shotgun, but headlock did the right thing and said, "what does this look like? a taxicab? hit the pavement, deadbeat!" headlock is totally growing on me. i'm a big fan of his work now.

the flashers outside stood completely floored - they've probably just never seen the doll leave a party so early. headlock told them, "she forgot she has to be up early in the morning." um, i don't think she forgot.

headlock was hired by kathleen's studio, a couple of weeks ago as a wrangler because the doll is as bad as bad can be. her people have already tried drying her out in rehab, but it was to no avail. luckily, headlock is slowly but surely becoming baby babble's absolute kryptonite - he has her home early and makes sure she doesn't sleep in too late. he's built like a brick shithouse, so anytime kathleen gets a little lippy - he just throws her over his shoulder like a sack of sugar and puts her in time out. actually i doubt that. according to sodapop cola, kathleen's brother, he'd just probably call her a cunt!

"from the start, the two of them squabbled all the time. she'd say, "you're the worst cunt," and he'd say, 'no you're the biggest cunt,' and then she'd say, "no, you're the cunt."

i'll bet. he went on, but i think we all know where he was going.

you may not know her, the world will soon know her fame; she is the doll

kathleen always has five on it, unless you're talking about a gram and then she has ten

she is the angel of arcadia and skid row's reigning queen. she used to be a campy classic with her tongue-in-cheek riot grrrl columns in various 'zines - then, one day, she just dropped off the face of the earth! no one knows where she went or what she was up to, but, she's back in action in arcadia, working for the popular hep parade studios and writing a weekly column for their magazine. and now, everyone who is anyone wants to know the doll.

kathleen is currently dating bad boy, no-good, junkie photographer jimmy kiss. he's been shacking up with her at her 312 skid row manor. it would appear that the couple's mates - heroin and cocaine - have been staying at the 312 dollhouse as well, because jimmy and kat look like shit! i'm just saying. she's been seen with her hair all ratty and she wears that atrocious jean jacket from 1993. jimmy is no prize either with his collection of ugly trilbies. she looks like she hasn't slept or eaten in a few weeks, but that doesn't matter! she runs on empty.

honestly, the doll really has no reason to be famous - but she is! besides, you know that we'll all still be talking about 'kathleen grace' in a couple of weeks....