joey kiss knocks on heaven's door, gets told to 'kick rocks'
kathleen was hard at work on her new column this morning at the pretty people club offices when she received an alarming phone call from headlock, urging her to come home. by the time she made it through arcadia's hellish morning traffic, police and ambulances were in the driveway, reporters were just beginning to arrive. before long, the entire block was a media circus, complete with journalists hounding neighbors and sneaking through backyards, all in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the greek tragedy that is the beautiful one's life.
soon after news broke that 1999 lisbon was ground zero for some real doll drama, fans of both joey and kathleen began to gather outside of the gates as well.the doll made it through the main gates when her brother, sodapop cola, jaunted up to her. he broke the news that joey kiss attempted to take his life this morning and was in critical condition at the couple's lisbon drive home.
joey had been missing for several days and was thought to be in cielo; but returned yesterday to arcadia and had been holed up, on the edge of the property, in a small guest cottage. his body was discovered by sodapop; details are still sketchy as to exactly what happened or what the hell is even going on.
one thing is for sure, though - those close to kathleen say, despite joey's recent trials and tribulations, "they were very close and they were very much in love."
police and medical technicians were on the scene early this afternoon and joey is currently in the intensive care unit. for now, kathleen has traded in the kiss cradle for the riot house. from there i'm sure she will probably fill her suite with alligator tears, smoke foilies and wonder why it couldn't have been beau badman instead.