kathleen has revealed to the fence that he has a new man in her life, now that she's sacked wet mop jimmy kiss. she has been snapped out numerous times with maynard b. alberkraut, her friend from arcadia who is currently working at the riot house in hotpants, dancing on tables. i don't believe it - the picture inside the doll's locket will always be of jimmy kiss.
their romance became official at the opening riot house bash last weekend - she showed up with 'kraut and kiss, although he was banned from attending, went stag.
maynard became close to kathleen after the 312 knifings and before long, was in her inner circle. he spent time holidaying in mulholland with the doll and recently, the two took a trip upstate, to the farmy monticello to purchase property for, well, it's a surprise. baby babble told the papers, "i can't tell you what it's for - it's a surprise! it's for me to know and you to find out." you know that's just doll code for : my drug dealing hub. just you wait. in a couple of months, there's going to be a big drug bust in monticello. believe!
people close to her - aka sodapop - told the papers that the two get along like a house on fire and that kathleen thinks he's the perfect gentleman. well, of course she would! jimmy kiss was the imperfect gentleman. after seeing how kiss behaves, i'm convinced that he was either raised by wolves or savages. or both! his take on life is totally warped. come to think of it, it's just jimmy that's warped.
if you ask me, maynard b. alberkraut is a total bore. aside from being ticketed for minor in possession of tobacco - when he was sixteen - curfew and parking on the wrong side of the street, he's a snooze! for a while, everyone thought that he was the doll's new drug dealer, but after sizing him up - i highly doubt that.
'kraut makes me yawn! there's not a wild bone in his body. i mean, shit, in high school, jimmy kiss knocked up a cheerleader and she broke his heart by getting an abortion, so he brought a gun to school and the rest is history! i don't like jokes so i'm not even kidding. oh and p.s. - he was star of the football team. can you imagine? kiss doesn't have the lung capacity to go up and down the stairs, let alone a field! i suspect the doll had something to do with the write-up of his 'official' - officially bullshit, maybe - autobiography page on the world wide web. kiss was born in the gutter and he will die in the gutter. and you know that kathleen didn't attend high school because she didn't need to - she was born a genius. she was also born blonde, so don't get it twisted.
in other doll news, the beautiful one confessed that she has plans to take her family of freaks on tour - "we've received a warm welcome from the crowds in arcadia and mulholland, not to mention right here in the valley; we're gearing up right now for a movement." gearing up is right on the money. gearing up with gear! she said, "so, look out your window - because we'll be coming to a town near you!"
yes, it has been a busy couple of weeks for the sunshine kid - from breaking up with longtime loverboy jimmy kiss, to all of her work with hep parade magazine, to opening the riot house, to shacking up with maynard - and now a tour announcement. b. alberkraut told the papers that he hopes she hasn't "piled too much on her plate." earth to maynard! first lesson : this girl doesn't eat! so, there should be no problems.