here we go again
it's the summer of love and kathleen recently found herself choosing between maynard b. alberkraut and someone who could be easily confused with a wet mop. jimmy just got out of the slammer a couple of minutes ago - in something he calls a 'mixup' - and even though kathleen didn't take any time out of her super, super busy schedule of eating candies, sunning in a bikini, slugging down booze and chasing the dragon to see him behind bars, word around the campfire has it that you can now call her jimmy's girl again. she even allowed him to move all his shit - a couple of trilbies, a pair of winklepicker boots and an old iron maiden LP - back into the 10050 love shack.
good! i'm glad. i was never a chairholding member in the i love 'kraut committee. ok, maybe a little at first, but by the end, he had me asleep.....to death, i'm telling you!
there were two major turning points. firstly, kathleen went to the hep parade magazine offices yesterday morning to dot some Is and cross some Ts - she told them that maynard was a 'stunt' and that she's happily back snorting lines off of jimmy's butt again. ok, she didn't say the last part, but she was thinking it. a stunt? well, she sure had me going. i wish i were smarter.
secondly, jimmy told the front pages something today that truly made me cringle madly deeply, "she's the one - i want my ring on her finger." he's only said shit like this one other time - he got trashed in arcadia without kathleen and got lost on the streets. the fuzz somehow caught up with him and offered kiss a ride home. only problem was - he couldn't remember where the hell he lived! he told them, "you know, the house with all the flashers out front, trying to catch a glimpse of my bride." turns out he was just super verschinckered, because the next day, the doll just laughed and laughed the story away. in response to the rumor that jimmy started today, kathleen said, "no! not even on a bet!"
still, it sounds like he wants to marry her......or something. you know, he'd have a better shot at her accepting if he proposed with a ring made of candy - or black tar heroin. oh, and if he had the money to buy one. jimmy's pockets have been mighty empty since the beginning of time.
now, no one - not even loose lips sodapop - will confirm, but i believe that kathleen and maynard are finally done. i heard that the doll was tired of trying to make "boring" 'kraut get outside of himself. for example, tame maynard mostly liked to lie around in bed and read books and be a goody-goody, whereas kat and kiss used to take their breakfast cereal with champagne instead of milk; they'd throw television from hotel windows, smash glass and cut themselves up with it - no one wanted to come anywhere near them! not even headlock!
so what if maynard b. opened doors for her and lit her cigarettes? kiss lights her crackpipe and goes to jail for her. that's what love is really about.