beau badman is a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater

 
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last night, kathleen and jimmy were having one of their usual knock-down and drag-out crackhead fights about beau, when the doll decided to run away from kiss and go join the badman himself in a fog of cocaine dust once and for all. only problem was - when she showed up outside the tin shack he calls a home, she busted him red-handed getting busy with another girl! cue the waterworks.

she told sodapop that she saw him through the window and when she tried to the open the door to start the slaughter, it was locked. the windows must have also been bulletproof as well, because you know she came back with a loaded gun. so, she sucked up what guts she had left and stumbled home to save the homicide for another day.

.......just kidding! wild honeypie started banging on his door until he answered and then she beat him with a frightening-looking four-fingered ring that had an uncanny resemblance to brass knuckles. she fucked up his face, stomach, ribs and back. that's right, sister! you tell him. if he takes a sledgehammer to your heart in front of god and everybody - well, then you just take a sledgehammer to his face and send him the bill!

the girl beau was banging behind kat's back ran out the door and hasn't been heard from since. that's because kathleen and sodapop totally paid her a little visit and her new address is : in a hole, beneath your feet, the middle of nowhere.

now, when i first heard this news, i couldn't believe my eyeballs, but the doll is backing all of it. she said that, "beau goodman is a plague to arcadia and i will do all in my power to drag his name through the gutter at every opportunity i find. i simply cannot wait for him to die, so that i can spit and dance on his grave." no, she didn't say the last part, but i'm sure she is planning on it.

oh and the fuzz did come to beau's easy street home to calm the situation down, but didn't arrest kathleen, because she said beau put his hands on her initially. damn! she's getting better at dealing with the pigs. i know this isn't her first time at the french opera, but she has definitely learned from her last fifteen stints in jail. the officers immediately took their mean mugs off of the doll and settled them on beau. they tackled and arrested him faster than baby babble could squeal, "get him!"

i imagine she won't be pressing charges, though, since she's his #1 fan. she'll probably just let him dry out in the can for a couple of days to scare the shit out of him. i say she should leave beau to rot in there forever and do the world some good! he's with his kind now.