☺ hits bookshelves everywhere
the heartless group of rich and sheltered suits that sign the doll's paychecks are surely going to have a long afterlife in the 9th circle of hell - just 10 days after kathleen's true love, joey kiss, was discovered half-dead in cielo, the doll's book has been released and she's been thrown on a press tour!
the tour kicked off with a luncheon, a reading at a popular bookstore in downtown arcadia and then took a trip down memory lane and answered some questions from fans. and, you guessed it, the doll bombed.
now, let's give her bony ass some credit - it's her first time in the media since joey tried to end it all and the questions she was given were less than second-rate. plus, if you add a little bit of cocaine in the mix you're going to get one classic doll fanmail column released 'round the world:
Q:Is it true you tried to kill Joey Kiss?
A: that sounds like a loaded question
Q: Are you going to try and kill yourself now?
A: DON'T U KNO WHO I AM???? you can't ask those kind of questions. i can have you fired for that type of shit.
Q: Joey : Heroin :: Doll : __________?
A: GO$$IP
Q:I don't get it - your fiancé just tried to kill himself....why are you going on tour?
A: well, i'm here to make $$$$$$$$$$ and the bottom line is - the man is going to try and take advantage of you if you're underground and they'll take advantage of you if you're signed to a major label. the more money i make, the more the people like you leave me alone.
Q: Would you miss him?
A: every minute of every day
Q:Who is ☺ dedicated to?
A: LUCIFER + WINGNUT + LUXY
Q: How much money do you make per year?
A: a boatload - 2 MUCH 2 COUNT
Q:I just saw HEP! and DIG! for the first time and my favorite part is you dancing to the credits - is this candid or was it scripted?
A: I GO HAM - always candid. but the director did have to warm me up to the idea...he was telling me shit like, "remember me from the freak fest? i was one of the roadies!" and "yo, i can't stand that beau fool!"
Q: What's next for the Doll?
A: HELL
Q: Are you planning on staying with Joey, or are you going to get back with one of your exes? Beau? Loyal? Maynard? Jimmy?
A: you can't believe everything you see and hear, now can you? i feel like joey'd want me to tell you all to go fuck yourselves.
the best part of the story is that the doll's backers are going to hire a tour manager - and, nope, it's not headlock - to wrangle kathleen. in an interview with the fence, the tour manager said that the doll is a "hothead" and seems like it will be a "struggle" to get her through the tour in one piece. the tour manager swears that the doll is on drugs and a good night for her consists of a million foilies. taking off all her clothes, running in circles around the stage, talking to herself and stage-diving. diva!
in other doll news, joey kiss is out of the hospital and currently under close suicide watch at the couple's lisbon drive home.