the beautiful one gets loaded, takes disco nap - continues bender by jumping on cars and acting like a nut
DOLL : BOOZE :: JIMMY : WET MOP
kathleen exceeded all of our expectations last night and showed that she had moved on from her split with 'bad dream' jimmy kiss as she enjoyed a boozy night out with new boyfriend, maynard b. alberkraut. she logged some important hours at the riot house before continuing her tour of the streets - she ducked into a corner shop to buy candies and, no surprises here, more booze! the drinks were the on the doll last night as she sauced with close mates until around half-three in the morning, when she took the party to her lonesome lane home, where it would continue until well after sun-up.
i think the best part of the night came when the flashers caught up with her and she tried really, really hard to pull it together.
"i'm the doll and i'm at the speakeasy on bedlam way? no, no i am not. wait - yes i am. okay, everyone is shaking their heads at me. what is it? where am i? cally road? doesn't matter - i'm here....and you're not! losers!"
she was totally dedicating that last part of the message to kiss - it just feels right.
after the fence got all of the above on film, sodapop came in to save the day and, after throwing kathleen over his shoulders like a small child, flipped the bird to the cameras and hauled her away.
oh, and the flashers got some super slippery wet pictures of kathleen and maynard swapping spit. gross! gee, maynard, i hope you know that kissing baby babble is the direct equivalent of slamming an armful of dope. jimmy could handle it, but i don't think you have what it takes.
speaking of jimmy, he crawled out of his hole to call the doll a "disgrace" after he drunken antics were well-documented in the press. he said that she should be "ashamed" of herself for carrying on in such a way. this shit is worse than high school! it's not like he's any prize! he can go back to crying ski-blacky tears and walking hand-in-hand in the gutter with beau at anytime now.
and, even though kiss has been on his soapbox, letting everyone know that he'll "never forgive" the beautiful one, he told flashers today, "i miss her - i just can't stay mad with her!" too bad he didn't add LOL at the end of that - i would have!
he wrapped with, "i'd do anything to call her 'baby' again." well....just about anything. i'm willing to bet that if it involves giving up the white or brown lady, then probably not.
let's just say that is in the near future, the headline 'KRAUT SLEEPS WITH THE FISHES NOW' is run, we'll all know who to point the finger at.