without further ado…let’s boogie!

the doll has been on a semi-sabbatical and in semi-hibernation this year, doing just enough to keep her fanbase alive...but she now has something cooking in the oven and it's not a bun. thank god. she announced today via her PR team that she will be recording a rockin' new year's eve special for the popular music channel - HEP! television - which is in a way selling out but also in a way not surprising that they finally nabbed her up. no future announcements for future projects have been made. even though we'd all make special sacrifices if she announced a reality show.

HEP!tv is selling tickets for £3,000 and a "VIP experience" for £5,000. to which i say - VIP EXPERIENCE????? what in the hell does that mean anyways? you get to use the doll's golden port-a-potty backstage and hoover over some rockstar-approved booger sugar? maybe get schlepped along with the other poor saps who shelled out a bunch of money to be stood in front of a step and repeat for an awkward pose with an inebriated doll? i really can't imagine anything much cooler. my VIP experience would be the doll coming to pick me up from my house in the gravedigger, i become her best friend on the way to the venue and by the time she's to grace the stage, she takes the mic and introduces me as her new backup singer. that's real VIP. also to be showered with champagne.

other than knowing for sure that a few musician friends of the doll's will surely be performing - it has been confirmed that kathleen is the headliner, no bazinga. and yes, she will be plugged in. despite many rumors that kathleen has about as much of a concept of how to play an instrument as she does nutrition, she can actually wail.

…interrupted

this is the type of “news” i live for, i’m telling you!
today, for reasons we’ll probably never know or understand, the doll did a live broadcast from the pretty people studios about her foray into the loony bin. she was basically the 2k18 lisa rowe.
again, not sure what prompted this desire to spill all the beans and let all the cats out of their bags, but it happened. she started by saying, “you know that movie girl, interrupted?” and us, the audience, nodded slowly and apprehensively. “well, that was my 2018.” let’s not lie, doll - it was probably a chunk of your 2019 too.

baby babble went on to say that she was hospitalized and sent to rehab after her PR agent said she “just took a bit too many pills” and that jimmy kiss found her on the bathroom floor. apparently she was unresponsive, even to some of her favorite words : foilie, lollies, spliff, fizzy drink, sugar, punk rock, kiss, etc.
at that point, jimmy decided to 5150 her and have her hospitalized for 48 hours that, um, led to several months. “i wasn’t eating,” she said, “just drinking tea and smoking spliffs.” she forgot to mention the many nights of being cracked-out, playing magical tunes off her glass trombone.

she mentioned the possibility of turning her days in the cuckoo’s nest into a memoir, but said that under the recommendation of her doctors, it wasn’t “the right time.”
but it is the right time for some anti-psychotics, it sounds!

she ended her trip down memory lane that lead to the nuthouse with, “but i’m all better now. i’m allowed to have yogurt, a cup of soup and…hazelnuts. and when i go for therapy, they let me play with the cats - when i first got there, i was on the third floor because they thought i was going to jump out the window.” cool! yeah, she sounds 100% better.

……NOT! psyche! please pray 4 her.